Girlfriend accused me of lying?

[chuppyson]

My girlfriend got funny with me tonight for apparently “lying” to her.

I went out last night to the pub with a few of the guys from my hometown. I told her I wasn’t drinking as I didn’t feel up to it and was driving.

I told her that night how I had had only an had apple juice and didn’t fancy getting drunk. I then decided to have ONE gin and tonic in that same evening the whole night. I had told her I wasn’t drinking which to me having one the whole night isn’t classed as “drinking” I was driving home for goodness sake.

Told her tonight on the phone that I had that ONE G&T and she’s text me tonight saying how it’s bothered her and not to Lie to her. How it’s not being honest and bla bla bla.

Have I made a mistake here or is she being over dramatic and petty?

Thank you.

She seems very insecure about you going out and is pissing around the subject instead of saying the truth

I would also call that not drinking....

It does seem a bit dramatic, but who knows, where she comes from - traumatic experiences with an alcoholic, a friend dying in some drunken car crash, a gaslighting ex... It might be worth finding out what lies behind this reaction.

And technically, it is drinking. Maybe she is just like me and gets annoyed about imprecise language. What the hell is so difficult about saying ‚two Gin Tonic Max‘ - that‘s my limit for staying sober and driving?!?!?

deepwater is so right, there is very possibly underlying issues that you are unaware of, I think its time to talk and openly but you need to give her room to talk too

My in-laws are like that - if driving, not one small glass of wine. Ask her. Maybe she has history with someone who minimised. Ask her. Technically, she's right. But she might be a pain in the arse.

Not sure how you have lied though? You told her you weren't going to drink. Then you changed your mind and had 1 but told her that. She's definitely over-reacting but suspect there is more to it.

I can't see her problem. If I say I'm not going to have any chips and later have a small portion and tell my OH - how would that make me a liar.

Is she usually so pedantic? It's little things like this that irritate one in a relationship.

It would piss me off and I'd question whether I wanted to stay to be honest.

Try and figure out why it's bugging her.

If it's just because you "lied" aka changed your mind about something then the relationship is hard work.

Thanks all for your posts.

Since talking about it on text and saying we will move on from it the conversation is very dry and not the same. Is this something she will sleep on? It’s caused me such stress and severe anxiety all night.

Settle yourself it’s really not worth your stress

She sounds like a knob and way too much like hard work OP

Possible hardwork red flag here yes.. we’ve been together 5 months. I really love her but things like this completely stress me out. I honestly don’t think I’ve done anything wrong or disrespectful... She genuinely believes I was hiding the fact I had a gin and tonic and not just the apple juice.

It’s too much hard work for still being in the honeymoon phase topic your relationship. Plus it doesn’t bode well for future ‘misunderstandings’ and the like, if this is how she reacts to you having one drink. Imagine it was something serious like two drinks, she’d potentionally have to be medically sedated to calm her down. Joking aside OP it doesn’t sound a healthy way to live. Sorry

Excuse the word topic not sure why that appeared

Bet you she doesn’t like you going out incase you cheat. And she’s now annoyed at you for going out, so she’s found something to jump on. And is trying to punish you.

You sound like a nice, respectful person, who deserves the same.

It’s all very juvenile and tedious and she’s not gonna grow out of it any time soon.

Can you see yourself with this woman forever?

How can she say that you're lying?
I've read your other thread about this being long-distance. She has no proof of what you did. She is talking to you based on no evidence.

Yeah, she's showing you who she is. You should probably pay attention to that

Once again thank you for all your responses. Today’s a new day and we’ve been relatively fine with texting... I still have a bitter taste in my mouth about it. She’s been far less responsive towards me today and her reply time has increased massively.. Im at a loss here?

Get rid move on be happy

Sorry things are still rough OP. Have you talked to her about her lack of responsiveness?

She sounds paranoid, going out and drinking means 'several drinks, but squiffy and over the legal drinking limit' I would not jump to conclusions straight away but it is a red flag for controlling behaviour. Particularly if she gets the hump and withdraws affection over it

I wouldn't have the patience for this nonsense 5 months in.

Do you really need this headache? I'd be seeing this as a sign to part ways. If she acts like this over nothing. ..imagine her reaction when there are genuine issues.

She’s being manipulative in her delayed responding, like pulling away emotionally until you fall back into line, with pleading begging forgiveness. If a man did this to a female poster she’d be told in no uncertain term that this is controlling behaviour and she should end things quIckly.

Eurgh at 5 months in I would just walk away. It's only going to get worse.