Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Girlfriend accused me of lying?

52 replies

chuppyson · 16/12/2018 21:31

My girlfriend got funny with me tonight for apparently “lying” to her.

I went out last night to the pub with a few of the guys from my hometown. I told her I wasn’t drinking as I didn’t feel up to it and was driving.

I told her that night how I had had only an had apple juice and didn’t fancy getting drunk. I then decided to have ONE gin and tonic in that same evening the whole night. I had told her I wasn’t drinking which to me having one the whole night isn’t classed as “drinking” I was driving home for goodness sake.

Told her tonight on the phone that I had that ONE G&T and she’s text me tonight saying how it’s bothered her and not to Lie to her. How it’s not being honest and bla bla bla.

Have I made a mistake here or is she being over dramatic and petty?

Thank you.

OP posts:
PerverseConverse · 17/12/2018 19:48

It's caused me so much stress and anxiety all night

You sound a bit of a drama queen to be honest and she has probably got reasons to have issues with you being in her eyes dishonest about drinking. Either communicate or find someone more suitable to you.

FWIW I'd have issues with you saying you weren't drinking then having one and driving. That's because I'm the child of an alcoholic who was driven around with my parent having "only had one" yet got done for drink driving.

If this is a long distance relationship as per pp then honesty and openness is even more important than normal. In her eyes you've betrayed her trust and she could be finding it hard to trust due to distance and whatever has caused her to flip about the drink.

forumdonkey · 17/12/2018 20:39

Has she actually said why she has a problem with you having a G&T? TBH, she sounds like hard work. What is she like when you usually go out with your friends?

Personally I wouldn't wait to find out if it's a one off. The second she accused me of lying and went on one, I'd be wondering if I'd want a complete over reaction within a relationship.

RivanQueen · 17/12/2018 20:57

Total overreaction on her part imo. Her behaviour since with delaying her responses is manipulative & controlling and a big red flag to me. At 5 months in things shouldn't be this hard. If this is how she handles something so minor as using imprecise language, imagine what her reaction would be over something serious? If I were in your shoes OP I'd be ending things.

Isth · 17/12/2018 21:00

God almighty, get rid of her, she sounds like hard work.

bumbother · 17/12/2018 21:11

Sack that.

I wouldn't take that controlling, manipulative shit from a husband of 20 years, never mind a partner of 5 months whom I don't live with, share no DC, or finances with.

She is being absolutely ridiculous.

If you'd told her you were going out and expected to get pretty drunk, what would her reaction have been?

ohwellinthatcasetryprunes · 17/12/2018 21:15

Her reaction is rather over the top, has she shown any tendency to be like this before?

bumbother · 17/12/2018 21:17

Just realised I commented on your previous thread about the whatsapp checking.

It's been 5 months and you've started multiple threads, mentioning the stress and anxiety it causes you.

Your relationship is totally unhealthy and you two are not compatible.

Do yourself a favour and get out. You're 23!

ErickBroch · 17/12/2018 23:48

Very controlling! Not good, don't allow yourself to be emotionally manipulated and gaslighted like I did - leave whilst you can!

AnneLovesGilbert · 17/12/2018 23:53

Walk away. She’s being daft and now sounds like she’s punishing you. No one needs this drama.

ErickBroch · 17/12/2018 23:54

Reading your other threads there are a lot of issues on both sides, you are not being good towards each other. I would end it.

ShatnersWig · 18/12/2018 08:52

What bumbother said with Christmas bells on. 100%.

Do not come back here with another thread about this, just pull the bloody plug and move on.

PerverseConverse · 18/12/2018 09:55

Have just read your other threads which are all similar to this.
End it for the sake of you both. The whole situation is ridiculous.

pissedonatrain · 18/12/2018 10:15

I remember your other thread. Get rid. Controlling and manipulative.

m0vinf0rward · 18/12/2018 10:21

Sounds like the thin end of the wedge to me. If she's like this over one drink, how will she be over say a weekend away with the lads? To me it sounds like she has trust issues, and I certainly wouldn't put up with those. You're an adult, capable of making your own choices. You do NOT need her approval or concent to do anything. Time to nip this one in the bud and put her straight.

PerverseConverse · 18/12/2018 10:31

@m0vinf0rward they are both as bad as each other from his other threads, constantly monitoring her online activity and paranoia over how quickly she responds to his messages. Teenage behaviour.

ShatnersWig · 18/12/2018 10:43

@Perverse is absolutely right. In my experience half the people who repeatedly post on the Relationships board about the same issue/relationship are not emotionally in the right place or mature enough to have a serious relationship or in total denial and keep posting to get one or two people agreeing with them to give them some hope to cling on to rather than accept the obvious. And they rarely listen, which is why they come back again and again with new threads.

differentnameforthis · 18/12/2018 11:04

So I have just deleted a huge message which is now no longer relevant. I have had a look at your previous threads, and I really really do not think you should be in a long-distance (or any kind of) relationship right now.

You really need to focus on the help with your anxiety, not have to constantly battle anxiety attacks about a 6mth relationship.

Youmatter · 18/12/2018 11:11

Got any links to these previous posts? I’m on my phone and can’t find them

PerverseConverse · 18/12/2018 11:17

Anxiety Over Texting / Overthinking - HELP! www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3452491-Anxiety-Over-Texting-Overthinking-HELP

This one from Sunday. Sorry if not a click link. I'm not a MN pro!

PerverseConverse · 18/12/2018 11:18

Am I Being Irrationally Paranoid about my GF? - Whatsapp Texting, please help! www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3395519-Am-I-Being-Irrationally-Paranoid-about-my-GF-Whatsapp-Texting-please-help

And this one.

glitterypink · 18/12/2018 11:20

She's gone way over the top here! So what if you had one drink, it's hardly lying!

Youmatter · 18/12/2018 11:20

Aw. Thanks ❤️

Youmatter · 18/12/2018 11:28

Goodness me they were so hard to read. I can only imagine the thread you’d start if she had one g&t on a night out.

You’re both doing this to eachother it’s extremely childish and tedious.

You need to sort your head out before you can be with anyone else.

You’re so young. This is embarrassing

Fashionista101 · 18/12/2018 11:32

Post this on first world problems 🙄

Robin2323 · 18/12/2018 11:49

Well you did have a drink do so suppose that's a lie.
But it's doesn't matter.
You changed your mind.
Is no big deal.