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Original poster

‘Ambitious, funny, smart’ - his online dating criteria

66 replies

Datinggirl · 09/12/2018 21:43

Why does this make me think he’s a bit of an arse? Is it just me...

Does anyone else find criteria like this off putting when online dating?

OP posts:
BirdieInTheHand · 09/12/2018 21:46

That's wht I'd expect of any man I was dating although I'd probably articulate the "smart" piece differently.

Original poster
Datinggirl · 09/12/2018 22:20

Fair enough!

I thought it spelled out the potential to be very critical!

OP posts:
superstarburst · 09/12/2018 22:26

I'd think he was going to never be satisfied, as there might be someone out there more of all these.

Original poster
Datinggirl · 09/12/2018 22:29

That’s my instinct too.

Don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting that in someone, but as the only criteria specifically listed...seems odd to me.

OP posts:
FearLoveAndTheTimeMachine · 09/12/2018 22:30

No, those seem fair qualities to prize in a partner! I’d want all three of those in a partner personally.

funnylittlefloozie · 09/12/2018 22:30

Is this a real person or just an observation? Ive done a LOT of OLD, and i'd probably go on a date or two with someone who said things like this, just to gauge what he was really like. Obviously if he was a dickhead, i wouldnt bother with a second date, but he might be fun.

Purpleisthenewblue1 · 09/12/2018 22:34

I think it’s up to others to decide if you are funny or not? Sounds a bit silly to me.

FearLoveAndTheTimeMachine · 09/12/2018 22:34

Don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting that in someone, but as the only criteria specifically listed...seems odd to me.

If he stated more qualities then he’d probably be questioned for wanting too much in one person :P

Are you worried that you wouldn’t be considered as those things by him or is it purely that something about those traits as a requirement reminds you of someone bad or gives a certain impression of him? I’m really struggling to see what the problem is.

FearLoveAndTheTimeMachine · 09/12/2018 22:35

I think it’s up to others to decide if you are funny or not? Sounds a bit silly to me.

Hold on... OP you said these were his criteria, meaning that’s what he’s looking for in a partner. But this post seems to think that he’s claiming to be those things. Have I got it wrong?

Original poster
Datinggirl · 09/12/2018 22:42

What he wanted from someone.

I don’t think they are bad qualities but to me it sounded like a high bar - ie you better be witty and clever or I’m not interested.

I am both these things (IMO!) but it put me off this man.

OP posts:
GourmetGold · 09/12/2018 22:48

No, I'd be thinking arse too! I'd be thinking smart? ..lots of smart arse remarks?..no thanks! Cocky, ambitious..yawn, very irritating

GourmetGold · 09/12/2018 22:50

Only person laughing at his jokes would be him

showmeshoyu · 09/12/2018 22:51

It just sounds like he wants a livewire, somebody really confident and willing to make themselves heard. Maybe I'm being too nice? I mean "boring, dumb and willing to settle for anything" is the polar opposite.

FearLoveAndTheTimeMachine · 09/12/2018 22:51

I see 😂

I don’t think everyone replying understands what criteria means as you’re just gonna get several replies now saying he’s a tool for thinking he’s smart and funny etc :P

But yeah, sounds fine to me. He obviously values someone ambitious so probably wants someone career minded (which might go along with the smart) and values a sense of humour in someone. I kinda prefer it when someone knows what they’re looking for and can just state it rather than people who cast the net wide for anyone with a pulse.

dancingqueen345 · 09/12/2018 22:54

Hate this!! Especially when it's phrased as 'you'll be smart, sexy funny etc'. I'll be exactly what I friggin want thanks pal!

ComtesseDeSpair · 09/12/2018 22:54

I can’t see why wanting certain personality qualities in a partner makes somebody an arse Confused They’re also reasonably standard wants, I’d have thought. I have “kind, clever, subtle and articulate” in my OLD profile as things I’m looking for in a partner. I couldn’t be with a witless dullard and I’m not apologetic about that.

Borelis · 09/12/2018 22:57

I think these qualities make sense and they're not annoyingly shallow like what some men put like preferences on looks, tattoos etc

Original poster
Datinggirl · 09/12/2018 22:58

It was phrased as looking for someone:.....

I just found it quite an off putting list. I seem to be in the minority though!

OP posts:
RudolfIsMySpiritAnimal · 09/12/2018 22:58

Sounds perfectly reasonable to me.

I've been married for years and have never tried OLD, but when I was single my "must haves" were kind, funny and clever.

Original poster
Datinggirl · 09/12/2018 22:59

Kind wasn’t on there!

OP posts:
Changedname3456 · 09/12/2018 23:00

But surely the point of the criteria section on OLD is to list what qualities you’re looking for?

Ambitious - doesn’t want someone prepared to coast along in a dead end job

Funny - well don’t we all like to think we are? And how many of us want to be with someone who can’t make, or take, a joke?

Smart - surely better than “brainless?” At least it suggests he doesn’t feel threatened by a smart(er) woman.

Joinourclub · 09/12/2018 23:00

I’d rather see that than ‘slim, blonde and smiley’.

ComtesseDeSpair · 09/12/2018 23:02

A long list of twenty “criteria” with no apparent awareness of what he has to offer somebody? Yes, offputting. A statement like “I’m hoping to meet somebody ambitious, funny and smart”. Perfectly normal standards.

AnaViaSalamanca · 09/12/2018 23:07

I think it's great actually, he looks at personality rather than looks and superficial things

Do you prefer blond, long legs, big boobs?

Anyway why are you overthinking a random guy's dating profile? Anyone putting a gun to your head to text/date him???

HereIgoagainxx · 09/12/2018 23:10

I must be odd because I think that's perfectly fine. It stands to reason you would want someone kind and thoughtful, no need to state that.

He is looking for someone that is career-driven, makes him laugh and is intelligent.

What a dick lol

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