DH touching me whilst asleep

[qwertyl]

Am downstairs in utter shock.... after an early night and offer of back rub from'd'h woke up to find him touching me.... I stopped him before he went further but he'd already put his fingers inside me I'm sure to check if I was asleep.... oh god I feel sick. I hate him right now

I'm so sorry, you have no doubt now about his intentions. We'll all be here for you

Family are all quite far away to make work and school viable. I'm going to book a hotel for tomorrow and try and make it fun/adventure. I don't know how but I can't bear to be near him and I don't want to hear his bullshit excuses. I need space and time to think but it would be when work is so busy I can't stop to work out how I begin to deal with this - I have teenage DSC in middle of exams too, what a mess and what has my life become...? This is the kick up the arse I need to sort myself out for my DD, going to try and sleep and function in the morning. Thank you mumsnetters for being amazing as ever

I'm so sorry. Please look after yourself.

I hope you've been able to get some sleep. Do seek real life help. If anything from rape crisis.

He's done this to you and the children.

You can give him the chance to stay away without fuss and minimise disruption for the teenagers.

I remember this thread from before. I'm so sorry it wasn't a wake up call for him and he continued. Look after you and your DC now. He deserves nothing from you

💐

I am so sorry OP it’s cold how he left it just the amount of time he thought he could and get away with it

Why can’t he go?

So sorry OP. I lived with this for years. It wasn't even the reason I left him. But is a huge reason I am so relieved I left him. My bed is now a safe place.

Please leave op. This is no way to live. Teach your daughter that you are strong and will not be treated like this! I promise life will be so much better without him.

Fgs of course it is wrong. Giving someone a blow job is about waking them up to give them pleasure. Touching someone intimately when they are asleep without the intention of waking them up but instead to gain pleasure from manipating heir unconscious body is clearly something else entirely, it is rape

OP if he had bee trying to wake you up gently by touching andd kissing etc them that is different. However he wasn't becausehe didn't want to risk you saying no.

I would be horrified too of DH did this. Don't let anyone tell you that your instincts are wrong on this. He did sexually assault you.

Sorry cross posts.
I Am Sorry you are dealing with this. You are doing the right thing in holding him to account. Good luck

He shpuld be the one leaving.

I remember reading your thread when you first posted. I'm sorry OP.

Can you tell dd the water/heating is broken or something so your staying in a hotel while he fixes it?

So sorry op

That's awful, waking up for sex is one thing and that depends on the person who is being woken up on whether that's acceptable or not...Actually doing stuff to someone who is asleep is (apart from being illegal) very creepy and a huge violation of trust. Unforgivable in my opinion. May be such men have been watching too much dodgy porn to be thinking that is acceptable in the real world.

I’m wondering why you feel you need to be the one to leave? I’ve just read your full thread and am horrified and not in the slightest surprised he did it again. I’m so sorry.
I’d personally be telling him he needed to move elsewhere while you stay in your home with your daughter. If he complained or refused I’m pretty sure he’d change his mind once you suggested informing the police that he’s raped you

Could he not leave ? Why should you upheave your life when he's raped you. Please speak to rape crisis to get some support.

Spend the hotel money on getting the locks changed and call the police immediately, he raped you. I wouldn’t hesitate in getting him arrested!

So sorry this happened to you.

I think if you speak to rape crisis or even police he will have to leave
normally you can't make someone leave the marital home ( before anyone suggests changing locks) but you can get a non molestation order pretty quickly and he will have to leave
you can ring in sick this is more important than your work being flat out for next 2 days don't put work first they will never ever put you first

I am so sorry this happened to you. I would report him to the police and ask him to leave. If you don’t feel up to it right now go to a hotel with your daughter as planned.

Bloody hell lass.

He is wrong on every level.

He needs to leave. And as the links a PP put up, he'll be lucky if he doesn't land up in jail.

Please go to the police, if there are no consequences he could do it to someone else too. He shouldn't get away with what he's done to you, you deserve justice.

I'm so sorry to hear your update. I'm angry and disgusted in equal measure.

Why are you leaving? Call him a rapist and threaten to tell everyone including the police unless he leaves. Or better still......do it.

I know you are upset and probably reeling, but try to find some ice cold anger. How dare he! Who the fuck is he to do that? He's raped you and you and your dd have to leave your home? Why should you suffer any more? Why should your dd suffer at all? Get nuclear.

I am on your behalf!

Take care of yourself. I hope you have someone to help you in rl.

Go to the police and get him to leave. He’s done this before !

So sorry OP.

Would he agree to leave?