Husband leaving after 24 years

[Trudeau2525]

My husband of 24 years told me a few months ago that he wasn’t happy. Doesn’t feel the spark, attraction anymore. After a few months of trying to work on the relationship, he decided last week that he can’t do it anymore and has organized a flat to rent and will be moving out after his return from work trip overseas on Friday. Kids 15, 18, 20 are completely clueless as we never argued (obviously didn’t communicate very well either) and will be crushed when they find out dad’s moving out. Anyone have any advise on how to break the news? I’m dreading it and struggling to cope with my own emotions- not eating, sleeping- but want to get strong for the kids. Struggling with Christmas as well.

Didn't want to read and run. My H walked out 3 and a half months ago, no warning, no discussion. Married 23 years. DCs 19 and 22. He did it by email! I don't know if there's an OW and frankly it's irrelevant. But I have been re-discovering the bits of me I'd hidden, because that's what I did in exchange for the security of a relationship. I can't believe I was so stupid - everyone thinks I'm so smart and strong, and sometimes I have days when I believe it and sometimes I don't.

But I am looking forward to being free of him; I visualise the day I have my own house with just my name on the deeds, with my youngest DS with me and a new life. The proportion of time I feel like that is getting larger, and the proportion of time I feel angry or sad is getting smaller. I take huge comfort from MN, and all the women who prove that it can be survived! Long way to go yet but I'm not going to let a small man ruin my life, don't let one ruin yours.

@fresh
“But I have been re-discovering the bits of me I'd hidden, because that's what I did in exchange for the security of a relationship”

So true. I’m both there yet, but I know that is the goal.

@fresh I think that's perfectly put. Think I'll write that down to remind myself on those days when I'm missing what wasn't really there.
@trudeau. Hope you're doing OK

There's a line in Joni Mitchell's 'Hejira' which I heard again the other day and which floored me a bit: "so now I am returning to myself these things that you and I suppressed". (Am old hippy really).
@trudeau25 one foot in front of the other.

@fresh
Keep them coming.

Day at a time.