How often does your partner compliment you?

[MrsTumbletap]

Just wondering if compliments are part of your everyday or every week language.

I mean physical ones, such as you are beautiful or sexy etc? It seems a bit pathetic and shallow wanting a compliment I know. But DH has never been one to dish out the compliments, he has a massive ego a lot of confidence, and walks around naked happily after a shower getting changed etc, I'm too self confident. After nearly 11 years together I miss feeling sexy or desired.
(Awful but previous boyfriends made me feel great and happier in my skin)

Other elements of our lives we control, If we don't know about a particular topic, we can read a book, We want to learn a language we can take a class, to lose weight, eat healthy and exercise etc etc you see my point, some things are in our control.

But what if you want to feel sexy and desired by your husband but don't?

Do you make him feel sexy and desired?

I wonder if he walks around naked because he’s trying to evoke a response.

Once, during his bridegroom speech 20years ago. because I told him to. Its just how he is!
I adore him, it would be nice to be complimented occasionally but not if it meant a complete character change in him.

Never

Never

Every day, many times

Why do you wonder that at all MaryJenson? Pointless response.

Op I know exactly how you feel and tbh it's extremely damaging. I have very low self esteem because my dh has never really been complementary. It's gotten to the point where I see pretty bras, underwear etc and want to buy it but then feel "what's the point?". He won't notice anyway or if he did, wouldn't comment. It's always been this way and recently I feel it's taken it's toll. I find myself imagining being with someone who was crazy about me and really made me feel wanted.
Btw, a realistic description of myself is a "mum bod", but still young enough looking, good skin, and often told I'm pretty. I suppose one could argue he mightn't be attracted to someone who's had kids and isn't young and toned anymore, but he was never really attracted to me, when I was young and lonely.
It really matters op, if your life long partner doesn't make you feel attractive and wanted, it has such an impact on how it makes you feel about yourself.

Every 10 minutes it feels like. He's a smart man, he knows making a woman feel sexy and beautiful makes for a happier relationship. After being in a crappy marriage where I had my self esteem knocked out of me, my OH has made me feel strong, loved beyond measure and sexy.

Daily and often more than a couple of times. He usually texts me when he's on his train, which arrives around the same time I get to work, it's something I really look forward to, and your post has reminded menu should reciprocate more often!

All the time

Does your husband make you feel valued in other ways?

Why do you wonder that at all MaryJenson? Pointless response

Can you really not see what I’m getting at here sadiesnakes?

@MaryJenson I really don't think you really understand where op is coming from. You are saying she needs to give her dh compliments in order to receive them. That's not what this post is about. Men and women need different things in a relationship, men don't need compliments to feel sexy, attractive, sure it's nice and all but it's not important as it is for women.
Op clearly states her dh is very confident in himself so she must be doing something right.

sadiessnakes
You accuse me of making a pointless response and yet your post says you have the same issue and offers no solution.

My partner compliments me daily and makes me feel sexy and wanted so maybe I’m better placed to advise the OP.

It's very much a part of our everyday language and will get said multiple times a day by each of us to the other. I like it, it's just a way of being affectionate.

I posted a week or so ago (under a name change) for very similar feelings only I'd over thought it to the point I really didn't think he loved me.

A user advised me to literally lay it all out and say this is it, this is what I need, can you give me this or are we over.

It worked, he opened up and actually he pointed out all the ways he compliments me non verbally, winking at me, touching my leg when he's driving, smacking my behind when he walks past me etc - does your DP show his attraction in any of these ways? I was so busy looking for verbal confirmation he still cared I completely missed the signs.

So I guess I'm saying look for other signs he thinks your sexy and talk to him. Hope you sort it out 💐

I do agree with @maryjenson and @mouseville65

You do want compliments and affection and research shows that you either model the behavior you want to see, or that you ask for it explicitly.

Your DH may or may not want compliments himself, but it's not a blanket response that only women want to be told "oh you're pretty" etc. Some women will, some won't... But OP you know what you want, and you know what he is like. so talk to him, but use "I would like.. I was thinking..." phrases rather than You... Eg You don't compliment me, You don't make me feel sexy... As he may go on the defensive and you'll fight about it rather than resolve it... Good luck

And my partner compliments me daily, and I do the same to him. We are both very affectionate and tactile too.

Every day. I’m pregnant and massive and in pjs as often as possible and he looks at me like I’m walking a red carpet in silk and diamonds. Keep telling him to get an eye test.

Has it always been like this or has the dynamic changed?

Occasionally - hard to give a frequency, really, but I suppose it happens when there is a reason to pay a compliment, such as I'm wearing something new or have got dressed up. It's the same reciprocally.

Everyday. When I call his name he answers with ‘yes beautiful’. I’m not but it’s lovely. Whilst out walking the hills the other day he insisted I went first over every stile, I commented on his being such a gentleman he replied with a laugh ‘ means I can look at your lovely bum’ 😂😂😂.

Thanks for your replies *

Annelikesgilbert* it has always been like this, he isn't one to notice a beautiful woman walk past him either, so at least there is consistency I suppose.

Shoxfordian yes in other ways he will say that was a nice dinner, well done for sorting that out etc.

We have talked about it and he says "I do think it, I just don't say it out loud, I should, I will try". It just not in his character, and at the beginning I had confidence, so it was easier to deal with. 11 years on, it's so hard, what will it be like in another 10?

It's also very hard if other men notice you, and someone tries to compliment you, or notice your hair is different, I just think I wish my husband would notice me.

That bold went all wrong and wasn't like that when I wrote it, sorry

Occasionally. Like when we get dressed up to go to a party. That's enough.
Plus an occasional nice compliment here and there.
I think it's odd that he doesn't compliment you. Very odd. Not natural.

I compliment others too, occasionally, so that it's meaningful, not to demean.

DP makes me feel very loved and desired, not in an over-the-top way but hugging me, saying I look lovely, that I'm smart and sexy etc. I do the same for him because we love and care for each other.

My ex-h never had a good word to say about me and completely flattened my self-esteem so I understand that it can knock your self-confidence. It's not pathetic or shallow to want to feel wanted.

For those of you whose DH compliment you regularly you are lucky and you must have good self esteem.

Most days. He makes me feel attractive when it's the last thing I see. I'm not ashamed of walking around naked in front of him and often do so. I think I have a good figure for my age (46 and a size 8) but have a 30cm scar down my chest from major lifesaving surgery. DH isn't bothered about it in the slightest and after being married for 23 years I doubt that will ever change.