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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Please help me deal...this feels weird

90 replies

CaveDivingbelle · 30/11/2018 22:35

The way BF of 7 months runs rings around me when we argue...I feel like there's something really wrong. I'm not very assertive and hate to row. Latest was yesterday when I was sick and sent a text response which he did not like the wording of ( I'd just quickly responded and turned the phone off to sleep) He spent all day arguing over it. He accused me of being negative and offending him. I said I didn't mean it but he insists it came from a " bad place" even if I don't admit it. He then says he knows in his heart the truth, and is telling me this because " he can't lie to me" . I feel like I'm going mad. I 've said it was nothing,he says I don't really feel like that and need to admit that I was intending to offend..and what he feels in his heart is the truth so I can't argue.He says I wouldn't need to defend myself if I wasn't guilty.

OP posts:
Debors · 30/11/2018 23:30

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

SparklyMagpie · 30/11/2018 23:55

Oh do one @Debors, you Sammy twat

SparklyMagpie · 30/11/2018 23:55

*Spammy 😂😂😂 but looks like they have

olivertwistwantsmore · 01/12/2018 00:02

Look, if he cared for you he’d want to help look after you when you were ill. He wouldn’t argue all day over the wording of a text (making it all about him).

7 months? You should still be in the honeymoon phase.

But he’s telling you how you feel??

Get rid of the gaslighting bully.

cfmagnet · 01/12/2018 00:07

I had one of these. Get rid now and save yourself the trouble.

RedLife · 01/12/2018 00:10

He sounds like hard work. And after only 7 months? Fuck that, life is too short.

ChodeofChodeHall · 01/12/2018 00:12

Run for the hills! You deserve to be with someone who makes you feel good about yourself .

trojanpony · 01/12/2018 00:25

Run run run.

This is so far from normal.

Ilovealexa · 01/12/2018 00:30

Please finish it. I spent 4 years with someone who told me how I felt and what I meant etc. It’s draining and turns you into a shadow.

Original poster
CaveDivingbelle · 01/12/2018 05:41

Thanks all...I hear you.

OP posts:
Original poster
CaveDivingbelle · 01/12/2018 05:48

It's shaken me big time because as one PP has used the word " deluded" that's exactly what it felt like. He had me crying. It wasn't " just a text" and I'd never convince him otherwise, as he " knows". I ended up going to bed still feeling ill, and he followed to insist it had to be sorted out. I ended up agreeing with him in the end. Then I was told that wasn't good enough as my initial response was to deny it.

OP posts:
TheSquashyHatOfMrGnosspelius · 01/12/2018 05:52

OK to be clear OP. He is a cunt. Do you want to be with a cunt? No. Get rid.

He is dangerous IMHO.

Sexnotgender · 01/12/2018 05:59

He sounds unstable quite frankly. Get rid ASAP.

Groovee · 01/12/2018 06:01

You deserve so much better. End it and block him.

Angrybird345 · 01/12/2018 06:04

Get rid of him!

ofcourseibloodyncd · 01/12/2018 06:15

And why did his ex leave him OP? Or indeed him her? (Whichever way he tells it)

Just in case you need any more ammunition or certainty that this is a red flag redder than Rudolph's nose

Sorry 💐

EmmaJR1 · 01/12/2018 06:21

How long before he's convincing you he only hits you because he loves you, it's your fault he lost his temper and if you'd only behave properly it wouldn't happen....

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

THEsonofaBITCH · 01/12/2018 06:36

He sounds like a textbook manipulative controlling bastard - run far and fast!

Dirtybadger · 01/12/2018 06:36

7 months and arguing.....nope!

Him telling you how you feel....double nope!

Angry
NicePieceOfPlaid · 01/12/2018 06:39

Just leave. It will only get worse.

trojanpony · 01/12/2018 07:18

Reread your last post.
Question:Is this what you imagined love to look like?

Please please please: Dump him, block him and when you do send an email stating any unwanted contact will result in you calling the police and if he does (even it is a “I’m sorry” or a “how are you?”) actually phone the police/101 and report him.

Also whether you were dating 7 months or 17years - this behaviour is not okay.
You are lucky because at 7 months it’s much easier to leave than after 17 years.

Cambionome · 01/12/2018 07:30

No. He doesn't get to tell you how you feel.
Bin.

Zoflorabore · 01/12/2018 07:40

I believe that if someone is telling you who they really are, listen, then react accordingly.

There is only one way to handle this.

7 months in should be the honeymoon period, he's not right for you op.
Chalk it up to experience and dump his sorry ass ( sounds a bit American sitcom there but I like the phrase ) good luck Flowers

maximumcarnage · 01/12/2018 08:14

He’s a nasty piece of work. You need to leave him. Now. Go meet someone who loves you for who you are and wants to care for you and support you.

Again. Leave him ASAP.

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