Will i tell her?

[eyespy123]

Long story short, someone made a fool of me a while ago. The usual, promised me the sun moon and stars. He wasn't happy at home, had no relationship with her and was only there for the kids...or so he said. I ended it all because he 'couldn't' leave her at the time. I can now see lovely pictures on them on her facebook page. And i can also see him active on a dating website. I want to send her an anonymous message on fb just saying " * is cheating on you, just thought you should now". And leave it at that. I admit i'm so bitter about it. Will i, is the question?

I would, but I know opinion is very divided on this one. I hope you feel better soon

hhmmm I don't know, personally I wouldn't want to get involved. If I were you I would just take a lesson from it to stay away from married men and move on.

Very divided on here usually as PP says.
But, I'd want to know.
But also, you need to be doing it for the right reasons. Not just revenge.
Can you send her a screen shot of the dating profile?
And proof of your affair.
lesson learned - Never EVER get involved with a married man.
There are plenty of single men out there. Go find one of those.

Well you're not exactly innocent if you knew he was married. I would chalk it up as a lesson not to be such a fool next time.

If I was the wife I would want to know. Be prepared to provide proof etc. These cheating rats should pay for their actions.

Are you telling this woman because you really think someone in her position would benefit from knowing, or are you doing it out of spite towards him?

Leave it alone. What good can it possibly do? Maybe she already knows, you have absolutely no idea.

Chalk it all down to experience and don’t get involved with such a person again. And stop looking at their Facebook pages.

Another vote for "I'd want to know" here.

I'd tell her, especially if you have the proof of a dating profile. She will find out eventually.

Its purely out of spite. And i hate that i feel like that. Really annoys me that he is on dating website. I have photos and all of us together but i really don't want her rocking up on my doorstep either which is why i wanted to do it anonymously. I can't seem to move on. Like why i am even torturing myself looking at their facebook pages. He's a slimy liar and it just annoys me.

I would 100% want to know. Send her a screenshot of his dating profile!

The reason doesn't make a difference to the wife materially. I would tell her because I would want to know.

Be prepared to be outted as the OW though and any repercussions of that.

Oh please, you had an affair with a married man and choose to believe a load of bullshit, who actually believes that line, we don't sleep together, just there for the kids, you should have ended it as soon as you found out he was married!

You should tell her yes but it sounds like you just want vengeance when you were no innocent in his indiscretion.

Just block her then OP.

Screenshot the dating profile and send to her. If you want him to know it was you them send her a picture of you both together but with your face blocked out.

I'd want to know regardless of the reason.

Yes! I would want to know. I always think it’s AWFUL when women say ‘butt out it’s not your business’ on threads like this.

Knowing someone is cheating and just leaving their partner in the dark - it’s shameful! It’s equivelent to walking past one partner beating the other in the street and saying ‘it’s none of my business.’

TELL THEM! Always tell them!

I know you’re not innocent in this but I would 100% send her a screenshot of his online dating profile.

It doesn't sound like you care about her at all though. You just want to get revenge on him.

I just think its a bit hypocritical to go on about what a liar he is when you knew full well he was married. No, you don't owe his wife anything but your behaviour hasn't been great either.

If you want to do it you should have the balls to own up to her about who you are.

@bitchqueen90 your right. I don't know the girl and i'm so pissed off at him. They could have a crap relationship, i don't know. But judging by her most recent photo of the two of them, she looks smitten. And i know its none of my business but i actually think hes a p*k what he is doing to her. But they have kids. I don't want to break up a home either. I just want him to suffer a bit i suppose. Smarmy git all smiles. grrrrrr
And yes i know i'm not innocent on all this either.

I would want to know, but If it happened I would be calling you every name under the sun as well as slinging him out.

I know there's a feeling on here that the man is the one to blame but i'm afraid if a woman told me she had been having an affair with my partner I wouldn't be thanking her politely - if you are going to tell her you need to be prepared to accept her reaction

Yes @nancy75 and to be honest i don't want or need that hassle in my life. But i don't want him to get away with what he is doing either.

To be honest, you're the lucky one here. She on the other hand is married and has children with a lying cheat and has presumably no clue what he's exposing her to ie STI's etc. I'd count your blessings and move on with dignity.

Tell her and send her a screen shot of his account. He's putting her health at risk.

And also think of her kids.... it's a crappy time of year to have your parents split

I would want to know, even if you were telling me for the "wrong" reasons.

I’m clearly in the minority here but it’s none of your business anymore. Look after yourself and your loved ones and leave other people to their own lives.