DS and DP not getting on

[Finkycat]

Hi, apologies in advance if this is long but I need to vent and get some advice!

Been with DP for nearly 3 years, we got together quite quickly after I split from DS's Dad. They used to get on quite well but my son has started to dislike and resent DP and is really acting up at home and at school. He's 9.

We have 1 DS together and I'm pregnant with no3, so the situation is really stressful.

DP has recently started to really loose his temper and shout at my DS. DS is being really difficult, naughty, disrespectful and rude to everyone including me. DP is at his wits end but I feel loses it too quickly with DS making the situation worse.

It feels like they just hate each other and I'm
stuck in the middle, I love them both and would love it if they could just get on.

Any advice from anyone in the same situation would be great!

Thank you x

Sadly it's not uncommon, I know several adults who are NC now with parents as they knew they were second best to their love life.

Given you say your partner is a good day to his actual children means that he is purposely mistreating your son yet you're letting him stay? He has very clearly shown his dislike, he long do you think he can mask it for. He certainly will not be able to treat all three the same and you can't mask favouritism.

Home should be a sanctuary for children and their parents their protectors, sadly not the case for so many.

Would he agree to attend parenting classes?
That might help!?
Or.... have you kicked him out yet?
He sounds really immature and that is NOT what your poor DS needs right now!
But he's been thrown into this parenting stuff without any 'training' at all.

My first ever LTB

You need to have a good hard look at yourself . What is wrong with you. 3 year's. One baby with him.and another on the way. Ffs put your son first and stop being so selfish. Your son is 9 and had had his life ripped apart and you just keeping being an idiot with unplanned pregnancy. Fucking disgusting

user this is relationships. NOT AIBU!
Shit happens.
Life happens and often it's not what we planned for.
The OP needs support right now, not your judgement.

Finky the thing is, his attitude isn't going to improve. My partners daughters can be challenging sometimes as can mine but I wouldn't dream of disciplining them or being rude to them. I will sometimes say don't be rude to your father but thats it.
I ditched a boyfriend who was out of order with my children the very second it happened. That was a long time coming too. Up until then he'd been charm personified. You need to prioritise your son and when you ditch his sorry arse you can tell your son its because he was unkind to him. It might make him feel valued because I'll bet he feels far from valued at this moment.

I’ve seen and experienced enough to know this will only get worse, much worse.

A man that can reject the hugs and expressions of apology (I feel so desperately sad even typing that) from a nine year old child is not a man that will see the error of his ways through therapy, family counselling or even a bleeding epiphany.

How pregnant are you OP?

Refusing a child's apology hug is heartbreaking

Forcing your son to attend counselling with a man who is emotionally abusing him is one of the worst ideas ever.

You need to own up to the mistake of rushing into a new relationship, getting pregnant again and again and going through with it and the consequences of this on your eldest son and the other two.

This man won't change. Your son is not his and he will never treat him as such. You either do the right thing by your son or you don't. The choice, unfortunately, is yours and not your child's.