Have you ever heard of a mother going NC with her adult child?

[Thatssosweet]

You know, assuming that there’s nothing like drugs and booze and violence? I mean, it’s pretty rare isn’t it?

So the parents tell you

I know all 3 families very well. I wouldn't judge without knowing both sides of the story.

Well there's always two sides to a story but in the end bad parenting is always the cause.

Bull. Some people, whether parents or adult children or both, are just assholes.

It is not my family but it is a person we know well. We have advised her to stay away from her own children, she would not listen and kept seeing her adult DCs. There was constant demand for money and eventually violence started. Thankfully now the lady has decided that No Contact is the only way to ensure her safety. She is old and disabled and IMO it is just not acceptable to take money (demanded) or be violent to an older disabled person.
After discussion among ourselves we can see that it is highly unlikely that the DCs learned their ways from the mother. Much more likely that they are going along with their partners.
There is also the fact that the estranged ex is around the DCs now who is a gossiping old woman (actually a man but OMG can he gossip!). It seems like a betrayal that the DCs are even giving him the time of day after his history with the lady and the children. The lady tried being civil to ex but he is obnoxious.

My family have seen the conduct of this lady's DCs and the ex so we are not judging on hearsay!
Some DCs just don't act decently.

I know a mum who has low contact with all her children. She has failed them all in various ways - drink and a bad temper has ruined their relationships. The children all feel she 'owes' them and contact seems very much related to what and how much she gives them.

I see how they act towards her and it is heartbreaking but so much has happened in the past that the mum would prefer everyone forgets about.

If you only look at how the children act now then you would be missing a big part of the story.

Well there's always two sides to a story but in the end bad parenting is always the cause

What if there's 4 adult children. Three have good jobs, make fantastic parents to their own children, live their lives within their means, work hard, treat their parents right etc The other is a spiteful, demanding person, who thinks it's OK to give up their job (3 times in a year) and expect their parents to keep providing handouts to feed, clothe and house them? As well as feeding their drug habit. How long can parents, who live off a pension, keep doing this? Once parents decide enough is enough their adult child wants nothing to do with them. How can that be a result of bad parenting?

Are all parents totally endebted to their adult offspring, regardless of their never ending, unrealistic demands?

Adult children who take up with partners who were brought up in different types of households can become more like their choice of partner than their family of origin.
As adults the parents have no influence on the A child. The A child no longer lives in the parents' house and hardly spends any time with the parents which is normal once an A child takes a partner. Therefore it is to be assumed that the partner will have more time to influence the A child's views.
We know that certain areas or certain schools produce a certain type of person, but the A child's partner was not from that area or school so the A child is choosing between their original way of life and the way of life of their partner.

This was my mum's signature move. She moved back to where she had grown up to be near family, then went NC with them! The longest period she went NC with me was about 2 years I think. I was pregnant with DS4 at the time and I think he was 2 before she met him.

She'd always been closer to my brother but she ended up going NC with him. They never spoke again and she died this year. She had cut so many people out that her funeral consisted of DH and me, my brother, my dad (they were separated and she was NC with him) and my dad's brother. She'd cut out most of her friends, in fact there were only 2 and I could only get the contact details for 1.