This feels ridiculous.
I am beginning to suspect my husband is getting closer to a friend/person he met whilst working (think "client" but not really). But in a way that I can't possibly question without feeling like a crazy wife! As in - there is nothing to suggest anything untoward, other than the fact I know my husband...
He always talks about who he has had meetings with and what his day has looked like (isn't office based,so it's a topic of general chat in our household, who he's met and where he's been etc) - but he's started being quite evasive in offering details. When he is evasive and I've questioned him more, it's been this woman that he's meeting. But his evasiveness is totally not the kind I could call him out on, as it's so "natural". Like he'll say "then i have a meeting with someone at 2pm before going to meet Jack to debrief". So it's totally normal! But he'd usually say "I'm meeting Ruth at 2pm" or "I'm meeting a person from X business at 2pm"
And he looks a little more...forced?! when he mentions he's meeting her. Like he's trying to look normal about it. But maybe he just is normal and I'm reading into that?!
And (we freely swap phones and use each others messaging apps etc, so he's not trying to hide stuff as he knows I'll likely see chats etc) he messages her A LOT. More than any other "client"/ friend. But none of the messages are anything suspicious. But just quite frequent (for a guy who rarely replies to my messages!).
She's interested in his line of work, and he's offering her advice and support in that, which is also normal for his business - there are several people he's doing this for, but it seems different with her. But maybe I'm paranoid?
And finally, she confides quite a lot in him - but in a general chat kind of way, I think. So it can be quite personal, but not more than you would be with any friend. I think it's because the lines are blurred in his work between work and friendships - everyone ends up quite chummy and socialise a lot etc... clients and staff and other work connections etc. I'd feel more comfortable if she was clearly in the "work" category, but she seems to creep more and more into "friend I don't mention meeting" category. But he wouldn't hide it if I asked directly... and he's invited her to our home, and I know he's occasionally (but not often) mentioned me to her in messages (so she knows I exist!)...
If it makes a difference, she's VERY similar in looks and personality to his ex. And I'm very different to them (different race and different cultural background, so quite different!).
Do I sit back and watch quietly to see, so I don't come across as crazy?!
Do I ask him why he avoids telling me he's meeting her?
Do I just outright say "so do you have a crush on X or what?!"
Or what do I say or do? Just leave it seems the least insane to me, but I hate that it could become something more and I might have been able to stop it by mentioning it to him now. Or will it become something anyway, with someone else if not her, if that's the way he is...? I don't think he is, but if I've learnt anything on mumsnet, it's that we can't be as certain about men as we thought we could.
I feel ridiculous contemplating saying anything to him based purely on my hunch. But when is gut feeling actually worth acting on and when should it be ignored?
Gah! Thanks for any advice!