Prostitutes....

[HollyLM]

What do you do if you discover a partner had escorts to the house when you were away, but says they only 'chatted?'

And now they are making all the effort in the world to make things right?

Please go to,your mums with your DC and start to rebuild your life again. It's better to be alone with your daughter than pretend you have what you want, as you certainly don't with this excuse for a man.

She's not a snowflake, fgs. Have some bloody empathy. You can be clear about what you think will happen without being unpleasant to a vulnerable woman.

You've had gigantic red flags re risk taking, degenerate, criminal behaviour and cheating and you've plowed on regardless. Sorry but it's time to stop plowing and start thinking.

It's who he is, he's extremely unlikely to change.

You're 30 FFS! That's so young.

As for his 'excuse' - so if he went away for a few days for work, leisure, to visit family, whatever (in your case prob to get help with looking after his daughter) ... And he found out you'd had male escorts round to the house to 'chat' ... And you said 'well it was your fault I had them round cause you went off for a few days and left me!', would he take that as a valid excuse?? That just goes to demonstrate how utterly fking ridiculous that is.

Would you sit in a bath without water?

Time to put your big girl boots on, OP. You’ve got a daughter

This man used to take drugs. He signs up to dating sites. He pays escorts to come over to shag him just because you had the nerve to take some time out at your mothers.

He’s an absolute scum bag!! If you don’t want to leave for yourself then leave for your daughters sake. I don’t understand how you’ve been able to stick around this man after all he’s done.

He thinks it’s okay to pay women to pretend their having a good time when he’s having sex with them, despite them hating every moment? And you want to stay with him and raise your daughter together??

You are 30 - that is so young! Leave, get your self together and meet someone lovely.

I despair, I reallly do

This is not a man to raise children with.

Please please, just look at him and see what he is ( not who he is)
I know that may sound harsh but I promise I speak from experience x

I wouldnt be thinking of trying to find another partner in the future,

You need to look after DD & if that means going home then go now.

What the hell Huni. Who asks a prostitute over for a Chat 😂 I can't believe someone would even expect you to believe that absolute shite 😔 It's worrying.

Oh Holly! Your self esteem must have be non existent for you to even continue to breathe in the same room as your scumbag partner!

You have a beautiful little girl, imagine she comes home and tells you that she has this partner who she really loves but he

Does drugs

Is a drug dealer

Uses prostitutes in the home and bed he shared with her

Is this the man you dream of for your baby girl? No of course not! You would lock her in the house and talk some bloody sense into her! You would do that because you know how precious she is! You know that she deserves so much more, that she should be loved, treasured and treated like a princess! Yet if you stay, you are writing this into your babies future! She will find herself in toxic relationships just like yours unless you teach her to respect herself and that no man gets to treat you like you are nothing!

Do you think that your Mum wants this for you?

You deserve so much more than that loser can ever give you! Leave NOW, before the tiny shred of self esteem and respect that you have for yourself is completely battered and irreparable!

Any young women considering having a baby with someone without the protection of marriage, independent wealth or shared property should read this thread.

someone has seen this happening and called me at work!

Do you were at work, he was at home....who was looking after you 3 yo daughter?? Please don't tell us he was doing this when in charge of dd??

Also, he's only admitted what he has to do trying to minimise what went on. You know hookers were in the house and that's all so that's all he's admitting.

Even if he didn't touch one (unlikely) they don't do house calls for newbies so he's definitely a regular punter. Chat every time then does he?

I'm sorry you've discovered he's a cunt. Get your 3 year old dd away from him as far as you can get.

Please get an STI check as soon as possible.
Then pack up and leave.
This makes me feel physically sick.
Him shagging a prostitute in my home!
And then to assume I'm an absolute mug with not an ounce of intelligence - just NO!
And then to have HIM as a male role model for my DD.
Not a chance in hell.

This is one of those OPs where it appears to be necessary to make them re-read their posting history and be ridiculously blunt in the hope it finally gets through

This is your posting history, OP:

19 June – partner on drugs
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3282376-Help-Needed

8 July – not only drugs but you discover escort history
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3300181-Is-now-the-time-to-leave-for-good

27 Aug – on this one you’re apparently single
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3348402-30-Single-and-want-more-children

6 Nov – should you leave
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3415774-No-Trust-Should-I-leave

7 Nov – still should you leave
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3417194-how-do-you-leave-a-relationship-when-your-riddled-with-anxiety

8 Nov – you’re about to leave
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3418291-still-time-to-meet-mr-right

13 Nov – still wondering about leaving
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3422870-will-life-be-hard-if-i-leave

13 Nov – talking about the escorts again as if you’ve just discovered it, when that was months ago
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3422923-prostitutes

Everyone has been telling you to leave in all of these threads dating back six months. In all of these threads you go on about scared about not meeting "Mr Right" or having more children.

Give your head a serious fucking wobble. This bloke takes drugs, sleeps with escorts, and you are STILL allowing your daughter to live around this?

You shouldn't be giving ANY thought about finding someone else or having more children yet, and probably not until you've had some counselling for your self esteem and working out why you have accepted this for years. You should be putting your daughter first and providing her with a secure stable home life with her mother. The last thing you should be thinking about is about finding another fucking bloke, for fuck's sake.

Ffs op, put your child first!!!!!

Why is your bar set so low??.....so you're nothing going to take action until you're straight into the arms of another bloke?

Your poor dd

Go for an STI check, burn the bed and move back in with your parents. Surely it is better than being with a man who will shag whore in your bed and who knows what else. Do you know how much outcalls cost £200 to £300 for an hour. That alone would piss me off.

Life will work out, or you can stay with a man who has no respect for you or your child. That he would bring a sex worker into your house and entertain her. And lets face it the only talking that went on in your house is how much harder she wants him to fuck her!

Ah. She won’t leave

Poor daughter

You just can't help some peole. Hoefully one day op will put her dsughter first instead of this loser.

I do wonder what a man who cheats with prostitutes really thinks if his OH stays with him.

I just can't imagine a man forgiving if his wife paid for sex. He'd feel so emasculated that she paid for it.

Well done SnatnersWig

I know it’s normally bad form to highlight previous posts but I’m glad you have.

You’re not thinking about your child, your decisions to stay are only based on your wants, not what you child needs.

LEAVE!

I left for the same reasons two years ago, it’s been hard but it’d be even harder living with someone you don’t trust and who plays lottery with your health and well being. I’m thirty years older than you OP, if I can do it you can.