I stayed after my first suspicions. In hindsight, it was bloody obvious he was doing it, but I chose to believe that maybe he really was just looking.
Not because I was desperate or stupid - but because when you’re a normal person it’s just so far from anything you can imagine a husband doing, that you think - “he must be telling the truth!”
Resentment certainly was a feature at that time, but it pervaded everything. Every dirty dish left by the sofa for 3 days. His skid marks. Him lying about trivial stuff like having phone up about car insurance renewal. Even him parking his car slightly too far over to make it easy to pull onto the drive! Every single thing I was screaming inside “I forgive you for probably fucking prostitutes, and yet in return you treat me like this?”
Thing is, I expected him to try to make up for the huge transaction by being “good” in all other things. That made sense to me. The thing was though, an arsehole who will fuck prostitutes and cheat on his wife simply doesn’t have the conscience or decency to behave well in other things.
It was the same core selfish shit that he was, that meant he thought it was fine to fuck prostitutes AND not give a shit when he got home first that I had to take 3 manoeuvres to park up, for the want it him just parking a foot further over.
The discovery of prostitutes poisoned everything.