Is it OK to go for dinner with a male friend when you are married?

[SugaryBits]

I have recently got back in touch with an old friend from college. We have met once, (with my DC in tow) and are planning to go out for dinner to catch up properly.

Some of my friends are really shocked about this. They think it's disrespectful to my DH! One friend said she wouldn't dream of even asking her DH if she could go. She has a SAHD friend and her DH won't allow her to have him in the house, although he just about accepts her seeing him at toddler groups. Personally I find this odd and if my DH had such little trust in me, there would be problems in our relationship!

So I suppose I am asking AIBU to go to dinner with my friend?

Actually I am going out for dinner with an old mate soon who is quite open about slightly fancying me (or at least my red hair and my norks). She's female, though, does that mean it's OK?

gosh, I'd love that MI.

I know, it's very appealing, isn't it.

I'd happily flirt with someone of the same sex who fancied me. What a lovely change it would be.

lol Happydaddy

It's fine - as long as your dh knows and you feel comfortable that you aren't doing something you shouldn't be!

My dh wouldn't like me going out with an ex though. Although he wouldn't stop me either.

One of my best friends is a man. Dh knows he used to fancy me, maybe he still does (I've no idea), but we've known each other for 18 years now and we regularly go to stay with him and his family.....so I can safely say it isn't an issue.

I was friends with a male last year before he went back to America, my hubby knew all about it and wasn't bothered. He was a good friend and we'd often meet for lunch at our church coffee lounge when I wasn't working. We went to the cinema (not alone) sometimes too.

He would flirt with me even though I was 8 yrs older and have 3 kids! I did feel very good when I was mistaken for his wife by a market stall holder while doing some shopping with my youngest.

I do keep in touch by email, I do miss his friendship as we did have quite a few things in common, it wasn't a sexual relationship although had I been about the same age and single it would have been very different!

I regularly meet up with one of my male friends. It's purley platonic, and DH doesn't care a jot. He trusts me.

Rebelmum,I see what you mean about wanting to go out with your dh. We're in a similar position; no babysitter etc, except friends I could call on in an emergency (which going out for dinner is not!). So if I didnt go out with friends, of either sex, I wouldnt go out at all, and I'd go insane!
Whats wrong with a bit of flirting anyway? Dh trusts me enough to even ask if I snogged a friend of ours in the pictures

I was drawn to your thread by the title...

Quite frankly I'm staggered that this is even an issue, let alone the fact that your friends are shocked.

What century are we living in again here? Didn't people have friends of the opposite sex they shared houses with at university? Didn't they have partners who had friends of the opposite sex? Haven't they worked with people of the opposite sex?

Do people really still believe that every single person of the opposite sex who is, or has been, a friend is someone they want to shag and not only that but they can't even be trusted to get through a dinner together without ripping each other's clothes off.

Aaaarrrrrrrrghh!

I have quite a few female friends. Some of these are single. My wife has quite a few male friends. Some of these are single. We've had some of these friends for many years, some from even before we started going out.

Sometimes I go out for dinner/ drinks/ gigs with a female friend. Sometimes my wife does the same with a male friend. Sometimes we get drunk with them. Sometimes we're back in time for Eastenders. Amazingly, we manage to get through all of these encounters fully clothed.

Going out with someone from the opposite sex is not an issue. It's not even a question of trust. If my wife says she's seeing Mike for a dinner tonight, it registers no more on me than her saying she's seeing Lucy for a dinner tonight. I think no more of seeing Jules for drink than I would of seeing Alex (although the former would probably involve watching a bit less football and a few more cocktails!)

Oops! This is probably an over-reaction, but genuinely I was just stunned when I read it!

Very interesting thread.....I went out with an ex colleague for a drink which turned into dinner. I do fancy him a bit, and I really enjoyed the evening. I'd told dh what I was doing and he was fine, but when I got back and told him about the evening he said he had thought it was a group of us going out and I should be careful as the other man (who is single) might get the wrong idea....

If I'm being honest I'm not entirely sure what my motives were for meeting up with him. We mostly talked about work - my home life was carefully avoided by both of us. He's now invited me to a work do at his new job, very tempted to go but maybe I am leading him on....I think I'm just enjoying the attention and being able (very briefly) to forget about being a mum and wife.

Dh and I have not been getting along that well for a while, although we've always had a gool level of trust between us. This situation is definitely not going to help matters.

So is it OK to go to dinner with a male friend? - I would have said yes before but now I'm not sure...perhaps not one you fancy.

Definitely ok in my book - it wouldn't actually occur to me that it wasn't.

But then, I have very close old male friends and dh has a very close old female friend who he sometimes meets up with after work when its not practical for me to join them.