Would you leave your Husband if he did this......

[brownie111]

• Tried to snog all of your friends (when drunk)
• Tried it on with your Sister
• Went on a night out, and instead of staying overnight with a male friend as planned, actually stayed at a females flat (although swore nothing happened)
• Would occasionally shove you/kick you, in an argument

BUT

• Earned a lot of money and kept the family in a good lifestyle (financially), so big house, nice cars, holidays etc.

You absolutely did the right thing for yourself and the children.
Please don't feel any guilt.

But what does your daughter think is the damamging thing about leaving? Just the loss of 2 parents? Or the financial loss?

I guess it will take her becoming a grown up to have some real understanding and empathy. And I guess you’ve not told her the whole truth so it will be hard for her.

Anyway. You made the right choice

Do they know how he treated you?

a bit of fun his family can fuck right of with that attitude. he broke up the family not you and the kids are young adults and need to seek some kind of therapy if they are having issues, but do remember not all can afford this at 45 quid and up, but if they can tell them it may benefit them to understand.

Well your home was broken regardless of whether you stayed together or not.

Thing is your children will have their independent lives and you would be stuck with him. Imagine that.

Do the children know why you left?

As for his family, why do you even listen to them?

Tell your kids what he did. Easy for them to pontificate and look down their nose at you when they don't know what a twat he is. Sounds like your kids need a kick up the bum about this in order to set them straight about what really happened.

Well done you! Brave lady. And lucky DCs that they didn't go through their whole childhood having to watch their father treat their mother like this. You have set them on the right path for respectful relationships in their own lives. They'll thank you eventually!

go you..!!!!!!!!!!!!!.fancy actually thinking you "broken homed"...imagine how fabulous it woulda gone if you'd stayed,while he "did nothing" except chase your sister n slobber over your friends...cant change it now.talk to your kids.x

I also left DS's dad, and although it's sad, he knows I shouldn't have to put up with what his dad did. And responsibility was laid firmly at his feet. No hate, but no lying either.

Your youngest DC will, eventually, realise for themself what he is like.
They may choose never to discuss this with you, but believe me, they will know. (I've been there and now am able to say 'you know what your dad's like' - it's enough.)
You didn't break your family up - he did.

You didn’t break the home op, your DH did by behaving so appallingly.

I am proud of you.

And when your children see a little bit more of life they will be beyond proud you did what you did too.

The kids never saw anything violent. He attacked me twice when they were at school. He pinned me to the bed and sat on my chest, I could hardly breathe. And the kicking was mostly under restaurant tables. Kids were there, but I would not let on what was happening under the table. Thanks guys, you have made me feel a bit less guilty. xx

Dear god you made the right choice and I bet your kids will thank you for it.

You might be misdiagnosing your children.

My siblings and I all have had some sort of issues due to our childhood home life. Our parent split up when I was 18, the siblings were younger. My mum and some of her family insist that our issues were caused by the divorce. This is nonsense.

The issues were caused by living our formative years in a shitty toxic atmosphere. The divorce meant that other people had to admit that the marriage was obviously shit. The divorce happened when the shit was at its worst. Our issues were not caused by the divorce. The divorce just shone a light on it all.

I'd bet it was your bad marriage that damaged your children. The divorce may have stopped them being able to pretend to outsiders that everything was normal, which would be difficult for a child.

When you talk to your DDs perhaps don't talk about the divorce as if it was an isolated random event like a life changing car accident. Talk about the troubled atmosphere in their childhoods instead.

Fucking hell. I can state with absolute certainty that your ex is an abusive, narcissistic, entitled bellend and so are his family.

You did absolutely the right thing.

I’ll just point out if their father had the money for a big house, holidays, etc that didn’t change when you split with him. He could have chosen to still give his children a wonderful life and privileged childhood. The fact he didn’t reflects badly only on him.

Yes I would leave.

You did the right thing for you and your dc. They’re not stupid, they will see what he was like. You were right to leave because you didn’t want them to have their parents’ relationship as their standard for their relationships. Good on you for getting yourself and them out.

Absolutely. I hope you're ok.

I cant image anyone saying they wouldnt op. Look after yourself and get away from this abusive man x

Suffering all of this for money and a certain lifestyle? Fuck that!