If you ask say to your husband “I know you I’ve had an affair”

[Chouxalacreme]

And he says “when?”
Does this amount to an admission ? I mean it’s not like he said oh no darling I never ever have, I wouldn’t do that to you I love you I’ve been faithful
Need to somehow get this information out of him as it’s bothering me
So I asked him straight in bed one night , I said that I know ( I don’t but pretty sure for no other reason than instinct )
Yay or nay what do you think

Depends if that’s the only thing he said. I might knee jerk say when, just because of how you phrased it. But then I would go onto say, that’s ridiculous, I haven’t, why do you think that etc etc

I think I’d probably look at you funny and say when as well

So no I don’t think it’s an admission

I actually think “when” is a very natural reaction.

Really ? I’m surprised as I thought this was a really odd reaction , like “prove it “

If he is having an affair, he's likely to not admit it unless you have concrete evidence. So no, I wouldn't say it is an admission if he replied with 'when'.

My boyfriend is mentally ill and when hes having a bad day is convinced im sleeping around.

These types of accusations are incredibly boring and i usually resort to "when" "who with" etc.

I would say when too. In fact if he freaked out and said never I'd be more likely to think he was guilty. My father denied emphatically because he was always bloody guilty. He even punched my brother once for accusing him. My brother was right of course and he'd had many affairs by then.

I don't think it is an admission of guilt either, more like caught off guard and surprised.

If he was having/ had an affair surely he would know when anyway.

I don't understand your question......asking him if he knows you've had an affair??? Title doesn't make sense

Yep "when" doesn't seem like a guilty reaction to me either. It's probably what I'd say.

For an out of the blue question, I don't think it is an odd answer.

I'd interpret it as 'when would I have time for it' tbh

My dh would probably say "when" as well, because he's either at home or out working.
There is a chance he could have been at it for years and i'd be none the wiser, but trust is important.
Do you have reason not to trust him?

I don't think it's an admission. If he wanted to admit it, he'd say 'you're right'. If he'd had one but didn't want to admit it, he'd surely deny it outright.

It suggests he's asking 'when' to understand why you think this.

If you have other reasons to suspect him, I think you should examine those rather than his reaction to this question.

In that situation I might say 'when?' as shorthand for 'when could I have possibly done that?' I.e I'm incredulous.

If he said "which one?" then I'd agree. "When?" not so much.

What makes you think that he has?

When suggests to me that he wants to work out which one you know about.

I'd want to know "when" I'd supposedly had my affair. It means nothing.

I would want to know 'when' too, incredulous at when I possibly did something suspicious to warrant the accusation.

No it doesn't sound lihe an admission to me.

After he said when, what happened?

If you thinknhes had/having an affair I suspect you’ll be convinced regardless of what he says. You’re looking for an admission - I suspect you’d not be happy to be honest.

What’s the backstory?

It's a deflection, who knows why. You'll need more evidence.

I think that would be my husband's reaction too - as in "When do you think I would have the time????"