What to do ? I’m so confused

[user1470296287]

Hi bit of a back story,

Ex left me out of the blue in 2016, I sold family home rented for a while then bought a shared ownership property which I love been here for 18 months. Took over 2 years to heal and feel less heartbroken and felt content in my new life and my son in a good place.

I tried online dating in April this year and met someone really nice but he was only 3 months out from his wife leaving him after 32 years together. He treats my very well and tells me all the time how much he loves me and is very lucky to have met me. My son(18)likes him and they get on very well as I do with his children (grown up)So all good with the relationship.

But he is desperate for us to be together all the time live together and share the rest of our lives with each other. He wants us to buy his house and buy the wife out and completely change the house and for me to sell my share in my property and all live happily ever after.
We have been approved for the mortgage on his place and mine has been put on the market.
I feel really strange about it all of a sudden and feel I don’t want to let my place go, but I know it would be a mean thing to do as he would be heartbroken if I pulled the plug on our plans.
I love him and really love being in his company but all of a sudden this has become real and a big decision to make that leap of faith and start fresh as a couple on a new life together.

Sorry it’s a long post but would appreciate any advice or opinions on this as I’m starting to feel really down about the whole thing.

And why is he pressuring you into it so quickly!

BF's ExWife wants her Ex to buy her out the joint property.... so OP was paying off his debt to his ex missus... win/win for both of them

OP did well to stop this

I'm so glad you stopped this OP!

I still refuse to sell my little house and I've been living with my now DH for 10+ years and married 6! I know it's 'ours' legally, but it still feels like my security blanket just in case.

The prudent thing IME would be to rent it out & try living together. Bollocks to his world 'falling apart' - that makes me wonder if its you he wants or your equity!! You can still see each other & even move into the same house (if you wish). All that's changed is you're being level headed and looking after yourself, your assets & your son.

It’s waaaay too soon. People need to find themselves as individuals after the breakup of a long term relationship and your new guy walked straight into a replacement wife almost immediately. There’s heaps the two of you still don’t know about each other, just no, don’t do it!

That’s not to say that your relationship can’t work out, but you’re really jumping the gun and if you’re tied together financially it could end very messily.

Always trust your gut instinct !
You did the right thing OP. I hope he genuinely hadn’t thought it through rather than using you to help him keep his house.
You’ll know from his behaviour / attitude towards you from now on.

I just want to thank everyone for the fantastic replies to my post you helped me to see how utterly stupid the whole thing is.
I will continue to date my boyfriend and see where it goes from here on but if I’m totally honest I love my little house and life with my son and dog, after the unexpected devastating break up of my marriage I was finally in a good place and content .

I won’t be rocking that peace and contentment for quite some time to come .

Thankyou all again 💐

UPDATE ......since posting this thread I have permanently ended this relationship back in the beginning of December.

Less than 2 weeks later he was back on Tinder looking for that special someone to share the rest of his life with !
This was seen by a relative of mine who is currently on the site and looking to date again.

So everyone who posted before on this was correct he was after a replacement wife and my money.

I’m happy in my home and life again don’t think I will be bothering with another relationship again.

Always trust your gut instinct it’s trying to tell you something.

Thanks again 💐

I remember your thread and posted on it at the start. Thank god you saw the light! Can you imagine if you had gone ahead?

You absolutely did the right thing!
Great update. Always trust your gut.
Don't be put off another relationship though - just don't rush into anything serious