People with FWB situations, can you tell me more?

[Perfectpanda01]

I have no desire to enter a relationship and this seems like the ideal solution. I just want to feel appreciated and wanted/desirable.

How do you go about it? What do I need to be aware of? I have never done OLD before either.

I think that's the thing. FWB means something slightly different to everyone. We all only have our own experiences to judge it from.

I am so happy I went with fwb with my now dp. It allowed us to slowly grow the relationship. Without pressure.

Sex with Dp is (as pp described it) on another level. But that started when we were FWB and getting closer. I was married for 15 years. I though we had good sex. Since having sex with Dp, I realise that it wasn't. I never understood the term mind blowing sex, until Dp. Yes it started getting that good while we were FWB, but got better now we are a couple.

FWB worked out amazingly for me. But because I brokes the rule and I was lucky that DP felt the same at the same time. I would be a blubbering mess right now if he had walked away when we had the talk. Or if he was sleeping with someone else.

If me and Dp don't work out, I think I would be more upset than I was when I my marriage ended. But I would never go down the FWB route again. It's too risky. I can't have lots of regular sex with someone and care for them and not become too attached. I just can't. I get that someone people can and I think it's a case of whatever works for you. If you can have mind blowing sex, without the love that's great.

It's just not something I would pursue again.

You are friends who occasionally fuck. You continue doing what you did as mates. If you already went out clubbing, or cinema etc together this continues. The only thing that changes is sex.

This.

I have two men in my life. I would say lovers but it's a bit weird but FWB seems a bit cold! They are friends first and foremost too. There is a third one who lives abroad so I see him less often.

I am not interested in a relationship. I'm interrupting in being close with people I respect and like who I have a physical connection with. One is in an open relationship. The other sees other people. I'm happy they're happy. I'm happy to have what I want. I'm open to new men but I have to have a connection with them.

I (now) see sex as something we're pushed into believing is to be between two people forever. Or one couple - a woman having two+ lovers is still today not seen in a positive light. But I have my children, I've tied my sexuality to one man who showed AFTER marriage that in fact he's asexual. So for me I'm not trying to create a family, or a family unit, I'm looking for love and intimacy and freedom. And I do love these guys BUT in a similar way to I love good friends, because they are good friends. I am not in love with them.

And the sex and intimacy is incredible.

And there's another aspect that I find liberating: there is no pressure to attempt anything sexually that I'm not sure about, for the sake of the relationship. If he wants to do something I'm on the fence about, it's far easier to say no when you know he is free to get that somewhere else. Similarly I'm free to get my own needs met in different ways because the different men can meet them - one doesn't have to meet all of them. And I'm pretty boring actually sexually, but I could see how this could be a great situation if you have more "wild" needs.

@Lionsandtiger what was the outcome of this, I'm the same as you know, I have told him I can't carry on as I will get feelings for him and I want more, and we have agreed to end it :(
This was 2 days ago, I was kind of hoping he would of messaged me by now :(

Lorddenning1 to be fair, if he really can't or doesn't want to give you more, no contact is probably best.

Sorry you are hurting though

thanks for your reply, in the convo i said i wasnt looking for a relationship now, but maybe in the future and he said he cant commit right now :(
he has said maybe in a year or 2, but didnt give me a reason why. everyone has said how good we are for each other and how he is being stupid, but oh well you cant change how someone feels.