met a guy online who has been fab, now he's backed off what the f did i do wrong?

[pirategirl]

Hiya, i put this in chat but thought it may be better in this section.

Well he contacted me thru a dating siteand we have been chatting for 3 days, texting, now he's backed off, doesnt know what he's looking for bla bla.

He 'seemed' lovely, very intelligent, courteous, full of compliments.

I just had a 'feeling' that he was all round normal and good fun.

I know online dating is almost in another realm, yet HE was the one who suggested we meet up soon.

He even texted me last night to ask if I really honestly fancied him, does he have low self esteem?

We have spent 3 days saying we cant believe we like eacj other so much. I was wary, but trusted him, becuase sometimes you just have to take a chance.

I dunno, i have the saddest feeling now, and yesterday i was feeling so up and bright. I don't 'need' a man to make me feel ok, but after my break up a couple of yrs ago, I havent felt attractive or liked for such a long time.

I am so cross with myslef for being a fool, but thought i had to give him a chance.

He said its knocked him, too much too soon, feeling that we have so much in common so quick, yet is that not a good thing.

someone explain. iam sure i would understand it if i were giving somone else advice, but i can't see thru it atm. The last thing i need is to feel this way. pretty down.

have you only known him the 3 days, or do you mean you have excahnged numbers to chat for the last 3 days?

Sounds like he's had some pretty strong feelings and they have scared him (I want to say typical man but I'll resist ) I'd give him a couple of days to calm down and think it through and you may find he gets back in touch.

been talking for about a week, started with emails. then msn, then texting for 3 days. he even tried to phone me yesterday.

i have this topic on chat too ( wasnt sure where to put it) i will stick here though, otherwise its gonna get annoying.

He has a duaghter, we have been chatting about our kids, um, i dont think he was aplayer so much, as just someone looking for something but not sure they want it when they can have it!!!

My concern is how i have taken it to heart somuch. do i never learn.

a week is a very short time, even tho when you chat online with someone you can get to know htem very quickly

i would say he has probably had an attack of nerves, and wants to slow it down a bit unitl you know more about each other

There's every possibility it could be something he was doing wrong, i.e. that a partner has discovered what he was up to and, not unreasonably, insist he put an end to it.

damed if you do damed if you dont.

i seem to have a bog heart full of left over feelings of rejection from my split. Yet, i do want to meet someone else.

I think he has scared himself.

You DO get to know a fair amount about people online, as you get to talking very intimately, and all about yourselves very quickly. I mean like facts about your life and yourself. You kind of let it out, like we do on here.

He is so scrummy, we have way to much in common, it has been quite disconcerting, and a bit of a shock.

re the partner thing, he split up with his gf about 6 months ago. they have a child. Yet he is involved in the childs life, which i was impressed about, altho, he did seem to have to go to his ex's alot to take care of the child as his ex was ill this week, but it didn't hide this from me.

I asked him at the start if he was well and truly over his ex, and he said yes.

maybe not, eh.

No advice pirate girl, just to say chin up, its nothing to do with you quiite obviously so don't take it that way.

I was in a similar position to you about 8 years ago, although not on internet was introduced thorugh a friend matchmaking via email- we got on very well for a couple of months (i was at uni), he sent me lovey dovey cds etc. It got to the last day of term and he travelled to pick me up (100 miles), took me to my Dad's garage (i was picking a new car up), and I never saw him again! I was gutted!
Made a good impression eh!
LOL

Internet dating or blind dating etc etc, is very hard work and I guess you've got to meet a lot of frogs before the prince comes along!

You did nothing wrong.

Problem is with these sites, email, msn etc - you can feel very close very quickly with someone, but it's all an illusion. You're seeing what you want to see and they're showing you only what they want to show.

I had a very similar situation with someone from a dating site (though got to know him in person eventually quite well too) - he had a daughter. I had a bit of a moment reading your thread, thought for a second it might be him!

agree its unlikely to be anything you have done wrong

He's not from Suffolk is he?

no not from suffolk!!!

you're right, and i know i will get overit, i just want to trust, then trust then iall goes wrong.

yet i really dont want to end up cynical iyswim.

i just live in a really remote area, and get a bit down thinking i don't want to be on my own forever, when i see my ex all loved up it makes me angry.

Never forget that episode of Sex in the City when Berger says to Miranda

"he's just not that into you"

It's not mean or nasty, but not everyone is a right fit and some people haven't got the guts to say it.

and at least it is early on rather than months down the line

you will find someone

i met my exbf online, we were togther 9m and had the best time, really restored my faith in men

just makes me wonder why he had to textme last night for me re-assure him i really did like him and wasnt being half hearted about it?

wierd.

maybe

maybe he just likes the chase, boosts his self esteem?

Who knows what he's thinking? I honestly don't think you should give it any more thought. Life is too short to waste analysing men's reactions. On to the next one.

dont let it get you down,,, i was emailing a bloke around xmas time, then we arranged to meet but he canceled the day before, and i never heard from him again, i txted him to say happy new year etc, but no response,

i havent spoke to anyone online since but i am thinking about it as have heard some good things on here recently about online dating..

keep your chin up chuck..

how canone tell these days if someone is genuine?

oh well, i'll see what happens, i am not contacting him again.

prob too good for him if he was really being a shite. Seemed to kind tho, no rude comments, no typical dating shite, cos i have done this dating lark before, and they normally get a kick out of tryig ot get you to look at them in their web cam!!!

ah well. as u say move on.

yes snow, i was thinking the same , yesterday that good things can happen from the online dating.

one of the things he said baout me was that mine was the first email response that had really made him laugh, which is really important, and he really makes me laugh.
we have opened a music sharing folder, and its ridiculous whatwe have in common, like obscure tracks, and comedy sketches we like.

Hmm there are ways to tell if people are lying even online. But it sounds like he was either telling some big fibs and didn't want to be found out, OR he was a jackass.

Either way, better find out after a week than a year.

Plenty more sea in the fish

i've had that

i just say to them look love if i wanna see your cock i will ask to

and then not speak to htem again

which site do you go on, i have been on aol one, may reactivate my account... otherwise i have no chance of meeting someone,
unless lou starts to share her intrested blokes around

hi, well looks like he has tripped of the edge of the earth.

Is it me or would a simple, polite,

'sorry that it didnt work out, cos i was on here for other reasons other than it ACTUALLY said in my profile that I parted good money for'

or

' sorry I spent 3 days being a 'normal' guy only to blow it and behave like every other one you have encountered. you know the ones you were telling me about, and whom I was sayin, 'my god' whats the matter with people, messing about with peoples feelings'

or

'sorry I made you feel like you were really great and special, but i have decided to pursue the type of girls ( money grabbing, bitchy, not too bright)that I originally joined a dating site to avoid'

phew

thats is better!