met a guy online who has been fab, now he's backed off what the f did i do wrong?

[pirategirl]

Hiya, i put this in chat but thought it may be better in this section.

Well he contacted me thru a dating siteand we have been chatting for 3 days, texting, now he's backed off, doesnt know what he's looking for bla bla.

He 'seemed' lovely, very intelligent, courteous, full of compliments.

I just had a 'feeling' that he was all round normal and good fun.

I know online dating is almost in another realm, yet HE was the one who suggested we meet up soon.

He even texted me last night to ask if I really honestly fancied him, does he have low self esteem?

We have spent 3 days saying we cant believe we like eacj other so much. I was wary, but trusted him, becuase sometimes you just have to take a chance.

I dunno, i have the saddest feeling now, and yesterday i was feeling so up and bright. I don't 'need' a man to make me feel ok, but after my break up a couple of yrs ago, I havent felt attractive or liked for such a long time.

I am so cross with myslef for being a fool, but thought i had to give him a chance.

He said its knocked him, too much too soon, feeling that we have so much in common so quick, yet is that not a good thing.

someone explain. iam sure i would understand it if i were giving somone else advice, but i can't see thru it atm. The last thing i need is to feel this way. pretty down.

Sometimes a bloke backs off when he cares too much about
the girl but knows that he is not curently in a position - emotionally etc -
to give her what she wants and what she deserves.

When I met dw I was bowled over and knew exactly that I found The One.
Backed off for 6 months, though, as I was still recovering from previous
relationship.

It's surprising how much love depends on timing.

Don't write him off just yet and do not take it personally!

Sorry to read this - a friend of mine had this happen twice after she met the guys and had several hot dates. One of them now texts her weekly to say he's sorry, she's really the love of his life, could they meet again etc etc - she'd really fallen for him but has the sense to say ! He's obviously a head case.

Nothing wrong with you - he's just a pathetic male, maybe he got scared by the speed, maybe he has another person on the go - but forget him - there ARE normal blokes out there - trouble is finding them amongst the nutters cunningly disquised as God's Gifts....

Good luck

Maybe DaddyJ has a brother?

A spiritual brother, indeed

Given that you had so much in common, pirategirl,
I would not be surprised if he is simply feeling overwhelmed.

Daddy, thanks, good to hear from a man.

Did you back of then? Did you keep in touch then get together later?

WaS your dw pissed of with youor did she carry on being in touch.

Yuors is quite a story imo, i am impressed.

Tanee, meant to say thanks, I just feel a bit lonely right nowxxx

Natural to feel like that!
What you said about you two sharing the same sense of
humour and music taste, that's a big deal.
Really hope he will get back to you.

We didn't stay in touch, I did not ask for
her number that first time.
You know, I was scared I would hurt her!

She wasn't pissed off as she had a sort-of boyfriend
at the time time.
Saw each other again 6 months later by chance, her bf
had done me the favour of breaking up with her and
I was good and ready.

awww, daddyj that's a really nice story. brings truth to the saying "if it's meant to be then it will be"

pirategirl, hope he re-surfaces and it works out but if it doesn't then i guess it means there's someone better for you out there.

that sounds a bit trite but hang in there and i'm sure you'll hook up with the right guy for you.

well i just had an emial from him, saying that he doeslike me, and he's just not sure about the whole deal as its going to fast.

i am pleased he has made contact. he just saw me on messenger, and signed offline, then i thought- coward, but was then surprised to see he emailed me.

i wrote back saying thanks, and that I was sorry it had gone abit wrong.

just wnated to say ihave had another emauil form a hot guy--oh no, what to do lol.

That is a really lovely story Daddyj - it does happen. In his 20s & 30s My Dp tended to get scared off every time one of his relationships seemed to be going too well - and he had a few! He & I split up after 6 months, I was broken hearted, he moved on to several more women & I married on the rebound. After 13 years we got back together 4 years ago & even then he went through 24 hours of thinking 'oh no, she's free now - and I don't want her any more!' - 24 hours later he realised he actually did and broke the pattern, and we've been together ever since - barring the usual occasional moment that most couples have, we hope to make old bones together. Everyone say 'aaah' .

But I do think some men do get scared when things seem too intense - and some women too.

Yes, if it's meant to be, it will - and if not - there are more fish floating around out there...

Of course, that doesn't stop it making you feel sad now.

Just read your new posts which came in while I was typing. LOL!!

I'd say, keep him on a back burner just in case - if you give him space, he may just come round to liking the idea.

Meanwhile, check out the new hot guy, without getting too intense - just play the field & enjoy.

Funny, it never rains but it pours .

Lovely stories alround!

Soooo, Mademoiselle piratefemmefatale, it's getting a bit tasty now!

Many years ago I did Dateline for awhile. I didn't meet the love of my life that way, but it did my ego no end of good, and I always had a fund of funny stories for girlsnights.

not sure about that daddy, i still have a major, 'oh feck the lot of them' hangover from sat night lol.

the email from new guy just says 'hey sexy'.

which is great. maybe i could send one similar back to him, if we are playing it slowly and cool.

say, a sentence a week

well i was brave and submitted my pic and it was bloody rejected- pmsl, i knew i was no kiera knightly but didnt know i was to ugly for a dating site!!!!!!

daddy j that really was just meant to be - how sweet

snow, its ridiculous the pics they reject!!

have to keep trying, its more dificult than getting a passport imo!!

they h ave to be fairly close up headshots.

which site r you on??

'hey sexy'?
Something tells me this guy won't mind a fast-paced encounter Lol

Sentence a week would be perfect with contestant no 1.
I think he will be back..

Tanee, online dating is a great idea!
Has worked well for quite a few of my friends.
Never got round to it myself
but then I am a Salsa dancer
which can be useful in that context.

That's how I met dw..

snowwonder, which website was that??
How bizarre!
Was it one of those snobbish ones?!

aol dating

i have to laugh otherwise i will cry ,

any others you recommend - i am always put off if you have to answer loads of questions to creat a profile, iykwim

and some of the other photos break all the rules if i knew how to post it on here i would so you could see what you thought,
i took a few and showed some people, and the one they chose was rejected!!!!

i am on msn, havent done aol.

i am surprise they rejected the pic, when did you upload it, they normally take 12 hrs to verify them.

it was the right size wasn't it? some have restrictions on how large the file size can b.

we chould compare note, and suss out the weirdos.

lol

yeah the website doesnt look like they are fussy!!!!!!

took them 2 hours to reject it!!!

i have sent another but it isnt the one i wanted but i gues it is still me..

Keep going, internet romances can work. I met my DH on udate and we have been married 4 years in october.

bonkerz, did youlive far away from one another.

thats one of the main problems, especially if there are already children in one another's lives.

I lived in Devon and he lived in Leicester so YES we lived along way from each other. After 3 weeks of him driving down to see me i decided to stay in Leicester for a bit and see how things went, well they went and so did we and we have lived here ever since.
Time scale wise it moved very fast. We started chatting in October 2002, Met in Nov 2002, Moved in in Feb 2003 and married in OCt 2003.