NC, been here for a while now, but since I may prove to be totally naive I thought I'd stay anon for this one.
I've met a guy at work. I haven't worked at the place for long and he's always stuck out a bit for some reason or another. There is a 10-year age gap between us (I'm mid-30s, he is mid-40s) and we are at very different stages in our lives.
We recently were due to have a work do and since we live quite close to each other, I offered to drive, so got his number for that purpose. We then started talking quite a bit during shared lunch times and after work as we work on several projects (together, but independently of each other, if that makes sense).
He is quite a reserved type. I know he is single and has recently gone through a rather shitty patch in life, although I get the impression that he has not been in a long-term (or any) relationship in a good while. He has talked to me quite a bit about his work-related past, some of which was reasonably confidential. He has also alluded to a few things going on in his private life, although he is yet to go into any sort of detail of his past, but he has talked about some things he has going on, which are making his life currently quite stressful. Like I said, he is quite reserved in general.
I have been openly flirtatious a few times. His body language tells me that he responds; his eyes triangulate mine and my mouth, he can mirror me quite a bit, but he stays outwardly neutral, does not flirt back, but also does not in any way suggest that he minds how I act with him. If anything, it's like he doesn't know how to respond.
So far I could be imagining things, of course. Part of me thinks I might, because our work do was cancelled at short notice and I offered that we go out regardless and he rejected my offer saying he wasn't feeling well. But then he stayed behind at work for an extra hour and a half that same day as the two of us got talking, even though he had no reason to (I did - I was waiting for a colleague to finish a phone call to a client as I needed to make a similar call myself before the end of the day). There was no one else to talk to and every time he made a move to pack up and go he seemed to think better of it and made himself comfortable again to talk to me some more.
Text messages were initiated by me so far, although he told me at one point to "keep it up and we will get on grand". And while he did not go out with me, he suggested we all get together next week instead. I then said I'd like to see him one-to-one at some point, too; it's nicer to talk that way and he agreed.
He gives off the impression that he is a very private type. He is certainly introverted and admits as much; even said to me that he needs alone time all the time at home and otherwise cannot function.
He may be painfully shy. He gives off the air that someone has royally fucked him over at some point in his life. He clearly responds well to me and he initiates coversation quite a bit, always remembering details of our last conversation.
But the jury is out - is he actually into me? I don't want to be too blunt with him right now. He knows we both have very different lives right now. I don't want to scare him away by coming on too strongly too fast, but I cannot stop thinking about him and it's driving me crazy.
What do mumsnet think?