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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Need some urgent opinion on who is right.

82 replies

Otuwa · 15/10/2018 14:29

Hi me and my girlfriend have two different opinions and i want to find out who is right.

We were having an argument and my girlfriend wanted to get out of the house. The time was around 7 pm and it was dark. Her mother had specifically asked me to not let her out of the house when she is anrgy for her own safety. Therefore, i refused to let out of the house. She smiled at me, went into kitchen and picked up a knife and turn towards me. She was not pointing the knife at me but she was holding it.

My point is : its wrong to pick up a knife in the middle of an argument and thats threatening behaviour.

My girlfriend thinks it was ok to pick up a knife because was not going to do anything and wanted to hold it to give a show to me and my parents who was witnessing all this drama through viber.

Whats your opinion? I want to rest this matter once and for all. Thanks.

OP posts:

Sirzy · 15/10/2018 14:30

You were wrong to stop an adult leaving the house.

She was more wrong to pick up a knife if in a threatening way

TheOneWith · 15/10/2018 14:30

You are a psycho and your girlfriend should run for the hills.

HTH.

TheStoic · 15/10/2018 14:31

It’s wrong to pick up a knife during an argument.

It’s also wrong to prevent someone from leaving if they want to. Don’t ever do that again.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 15/10/2018 14:31

Good God, you even need to ask?

I'm assuming she has mental health issues...?

She was angry and deliberately picked up the knife to threaten you with? I'd be calling the police, never mind arguing about who's right or wrong.

PerverseConverse · 15/10/2018 14:31

Jeeeez

franklyshankly2 · 15/10/2018 14:31

I find it a little controlling that you would not let her out BUT she really shouldn't have grabbed the knife. Is there a backstory to this? None of this seems like typical or okay behaviour.

youbrokemytwatometer · 15/10/2018 14:32

Where to begin?

Justmuddlingalong · 15/10/2018 14:33

I presume there's a back story as to why a grown woman's choice is being overruled by you and her mother?

Original poster

Otuwa · 15/10/2018 14:33

Only reason i didnt let her go out was that she has anger issues and her mum fears for her safety when she is out with anger. So i was just protecting her

OP posts:

merville · 15/10/2018 14:34

Why would her mother tell/ask you not to let her out of the house alone?

How old are you both?

It seems v wrong to prevent someone from leaving a building if they want to, in fact isn't it a criminal offence?

Bigboobiebish · 15/10/2018 14:34

Whoa.

I hope there's no kids involved in this mess of a relationship.

Sirzy · 15/10/2018 14:34

It isn’t yours (or her mums) place to make such decision though.

She needs to deal with her anger issues but she doesn’t need people controlling her because that will make things worse

TheStoic · 15/10/2018 14:35

Only reason i didnt let her go out was that she has anger issues and her mum fears for her safety when she is out with anger. So i was just protecting her

Do you understand that you cannot ever do that again?

AlleyG · 15/10/2018 14:35

i refused to let out of the house

You are in the wrong. You are abusive, controlling and manipulative.

subspace · 15/10/2018 14:35

How old are you both?

What sort of anger issues?

LIZS · 15/10/2018 14:35

Are you both adults? It sounds like a volatile and toxic relationship.

Moominfan · 15/10/2018 14:36

Alll been said hope you guys get help before someone gets hurt

redwineandcrisps · 15/10/2018 14:36

If this is real, you need to split up for both your sakes. Your controlling (WTF are you doing keeping her in the house?!) and she felt like picking up a knife was an okay thing to do. Both utterly fucked up responses and you both need help!

RoboticMary · 15/10/2018 14:36

Jeez, where to begin?

You have no business preventing another adult leaving the house. Her mother has no right to ask you to ensure she doesn’t leave. And it’s crazy to pick up a knife! Batshit behaviour! Run for the hills. Anyone that immature with such poor communication skills shouldn’t be in a relationship.

TheOneWith · 15/10/2018 14:36

Ah yes, protecting her by refusing to allow her to her leave the house, and then getting on a video call to your parents so they could witness her distressed state .

She should have been the one calling the police due to your abusive threatening behaviour by not allowing a grown woman to leave the house.

Brandnewshit · 15/10/2018 14:37

Why were your parents watching on viber?
How old are you?
This is a toxic relationship and so many kinds of wrong

youbrokemytwatometer · 15/10/2018 14:37

No, she shouldn't have picked up the knife. But you shouldn't have held her against her will. You are not her keeper. And why was this being broadcast to your parents?

This all sounds beyond unhealthy.

TwistedStitch · 15/10/2018 14:37

How exactly did you stop her from leaving?

Original poster

Otuwa · 15/10/2018 14:38

We are both in late 20 and have no kids. She is of course free to leave the house whenever she wants to. Her dad has anger issues and done some stupid things out of anger. So her mum fears for her safety as she makes quick decisions out of anger.

OP posts:

PerverseConverse · 15/10/2018 14:38

Mumsnet: the logical choice for advice for teenage boys/young male adults

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