Financial arrangement between me and my partner

[Sherbet1924]

Today 10:50Sherbet1924

Hello, I am new to this site and was just wanting a bit of advice regarding financial arangments between myself and my partner, he work a full time and is away from our home 50 plus hours a week, I am home with 3 children, a 6 year old and 20 month old twins, I do work Aswel but obviously can't work anywhere near as much as he does, we are not entitled to any financial help due to his income, this month due to not being able to commit to many shifts I received £300 wages between me and 3 kids for a month, take off car tax insurance petrol ect it leaves me with next to nothing, my partner pays the house and bills, however when I am short on money he says I should budget better, I've tried telling him that is easy for him to say working his usual full time hours not having to sacrifice a penny, I have had to sacrifice 3 quarters to my usual wage to have our children and he doesn't think he should have to give me any money as his contributions are the rent and bills, if I want more money I need to work more, which yes I would love to work more like I used to but nursery would be 80 pounds per day which wouldn't be worth me putting them in as my wages wouldn't be much more, I feel really stuck as I have to manage school runs look after baby twins and work when I can, his only worry is going to work his usual full time hours and he doesn't appreciate my sacrifise at all, he paid for us to go on holiday which I really appreciated but he doesn't understand if I was able to work more I would have my own money to pay for holidays ext, it's causing arguments as I don't think it's fair I am left struggling every month with 3 kids whilst he keeps his left over wages all to himself, if I ask for any help he calls me a money grabber which I am most certainly not, I have always worked 2 and 3 jobs full time, my family think he should be giving me some sort of wage to last me through the month for the kids, as i cant work anywhere near as much as he does due to havi g 3 kids to look after, him and his friends think he pays the bills so I should be grateful and earn more money myself, I am trying my best and I feel like I'm talking to a brick wall, any advice please am I in the wrong?

Why is he being so mean

Because he is mean. He’s not good enough for you and the kids.

Would you need childcare? Or would you just take a career break and stay at home until the youngest are in school?

Benefits aren't the best way but the system is there as a safety net for when things go to shit. And that's what has happened to you, so no one would judge you for just staying on benefits until the youngest are at school. That way, no childcare costs. And then when he has them, you just say "they aren't in nursery so here you go. Your time with them so your responsibility to arrange childcare". Then you won't be paying for his childcare time.

If you have family who'd be willing to help with childcare, then maybe you could work part time.

He’s being mean, because he’s a bastard! This isn’t new, he’s always been this way. He’s financially abusing you and the sooner you get to your mums the better!

If that's how he's going to be OP, you could tell him you'll pay for the childcare you need for the half of the time the children are with you.

The tax credits you receive would reflect the portion of childcare you are paying for. The rest of the tax credits are not to pay for childcare but to boost the income in the home you provide for them.

If he wants to work during the half of the time he has the children, he will need to pay for the childcare during that time.

He will not want to do 50:50 when it comes down to it. He is too tight.

His attitude stinks and I hope you go through with leaving. If I were you I would assume he will do nothing and pay nothing except for what you eventually get through the CMS.

Just leave. You have literally nothing to lose.

I agree he's a mean bastard is why he's a miser!

I strongly suspect this isn't the only way in which he's abusive either.

He's a disgusting piece of shit that's why he's being so mean.
One thing I can not abide is a complete tight arse.
Have my first ever LTB.

Hope you've made it safely to your mom's, OP.