Inconsiderate husband plz help.

[Poll321]

Hi,

Recently my husband and I had a family wedding. In the run up to this event we had a fallout due to his excessive work hrs on the 1 family day we had that month. So things were slightly muted between us. No nastiness just picture no sound.

On the morning of the wedding I had my hair done, new dress and felt a million dollars. Offered to iron shirt for DH but he declined. Some small talk exchanged throughout getting ready.

My DH let the dog out and quite difficult to catch as he runs away. Kids love dog so he had to be got. It was lashing rain and DH said "go get that stupid dog he got out" I replied I would get destroyed if I go out and he said he didn't give a shit about that. Long story short he left me at the house even though I was ready. I missed the wedding ceremony and only just made the meal as I had to catch dog and redo my make up as it got ruined in the rain.

Checked in to hotel, went down for dinner, after dinner DH got up to go to the bar as I thought. After a long-time of looking I eventually txtd him. He had gone and left me at his family wedding without telling me. I felt completely deflated and sad.

Am I overreacting or is this disrespectful to me as his wife and also the mother of his children.
I want to leave. Plz help

Wow. That wasn't good.

Is it like this a lot between you?

I would leave him in a heartbeat.

He sounds awful! Very disrespectful

That's extremely disrespectful. I wouldn't accept treatment like that from anyone, let alone your very own partner.

Maybe try to communicate with him about what's causing him to act this way... Was it a one-off or is it consistent with his behaviour lately?

I don't mean to jump to conclusions, but men tend to act this way when they've had enough of a relationship.

No we generally get on well together the only issue between us is the lack of time he spends at home he works a lot. And he is definitely not having an affair just a workaholic

So rude and disrespectful. Is he usually like this? This is your husband? He didn't actually want you at the wedding, did he? What happened to "love, honour" and all that stuff? Something's going on in his life that you don't know about!

That's unacceptable, and to me a sign that there's something fundamentally wrong.

When was 'recently' - unless it was yesterday there's more to this story. What's been said since?

Wedding was on Thursday. Very little said between us.

Sorry but thst is not inconsiderate behaviour, it's thoroughly nasty, vindictive cuntishness of the lowest form. I find it very hard to believe this was an isolated incident. If it was he must be having some kind of breakdown but more likely it's part of a longer-term story of abuse.

I would be livid if my husband left me at home and went to wedding. Sod the dog. Do you think he let it out on purpose?

I agree with TooTrue.

This is way beyond him being inconsiderate this is full on abusive arsehole material.

What did his family say about how he treated you, with you arriving late then him just buggering off leaving you and your children I assume you waffled rather then telling the truth about his behaviour.

What is stopping you leaving.

It's more than inconsiderate, it's contemptuous.

He sounds horrible any man with respect for his wife would not let her go out to do this knowing the effort she had just made as a man it would have took him less time to get ready anyway I would be fuming about that alone and next time there is something on his side of the family let him go it alone and same for my family things. I would be very angry at this tbh not sure I would ltb but it would have hurt my feelings knowing he acted so selfish big hugs 🤗

This is awful. He seems to dislike you. This is bigger than that one day. To treat you like that is a symptom of a much bigger issue. I don't know how you come back from that.

That's horrible. You poor thing. Really cruel and disrespectful. I'm sorry to say that it seems over between you if that's how he treats you.

I feel for you what a complete twat . Why do people think it’s acceotable to treat others this way . What are you going to do ?

And he is definitely not having an affair

So you spend 24 hours a day with him?
(if so - stop.)

I find your husbands actions really worrying. There's something sly and cruel about it - letting the dog out (which was definitely on purpose), insisting that you catch it and hence ruin the effort you'd put into looking wedding - appropriate, leaving you TWICE.

I wouldn't be friends with someone who treated me like that, or accept it from a colleague or relative or stranger. And I certainly wouldn't tolerate it from a spouse, who is supposed to like me more than all those other people.

Sorry. What the hell???

I've just left an absolute arse who showed me no respect... But that, OP, takes the cake.

He sounds like he enjoys being spiteful to you. So wrong.

Please talk to him, this silent treatment is juvenile from both of you. Ask him why he would do those things, ask him if he thinks anyone else would tolerate it.

He sounds like a nasty spiteful person. He let the dog out on purpose knowing the dog wouldn't come back and you having to catch dog in the rain ruining your hair etc. Then he pisses off to wedding without u and does a runner when you turned up. How embarrassing for u. Sounds like he didn't want to go the wedding. Surly he's family made comments when he turned up without you and then left u there on ur own. He behaved like a spoiled child he should hve put ur argument aside for the day. I feel sorry for u to be in a relationship with someone like him. Very nasty vindicated person!!!

That's very far from normal behaviour, he appears to hate you, and not in a temporary blip way.

There's more to this, there has to be.

Hi thank you all for your comments. I genuinely wish I could say that he is horrible to me all the time to make it easier what he done but he's not. He is actually lovely 99% of the time. The other 1% is his lack of help in the house.

I actually don't know what to do. I would consider myself to be emotionally strong esp in my job in emergency services and seeing some terrible things, but Never in my life have I felt so disrespected, humiliated, degraded. I actually felt like I was on the outside watching myself telling him like a child that I'd get ruined if I went outside. I'm so completely flat I wish I had an anger even in me but this has truly blown me off my feet.

He is an arse.It's always worse when there are "good" bits.

always not says

Oh Poll, it's no wonder you're feeling so deflated, what he did was
vile - you're literally in shock which isn't surprising.
I think this will sit with you for the rest of your marriage - be it long or curtailed and will be the start of the snowball rolling down the hill.