I think I need some tough love here.
Me and DP have been together two years and about 6 months ago we had a rocky patch where he started behaving like an arsehole for no apparent reason. He was critical, moody, put me down a lot, distant. We nearly split up over it and I never got to the bottom of why he acted like that (he put it down to stress but I’ve never been convinced)
I’ve had two wobbles since then where I have felt him being a bit distant/hot and cold and it made me insecure. On both occasions I asked if everything was ok and I stupidly brought up the stuff that happened before and we had an argument. he got very defensive both times.
Yesterday he told me he wanted to end the relationship as he is worried I will bring up his past behaviour again and that we will keep arguing over it. my gut had been telling me for days that it was coming. His behaviour in the lead up to him wanting to end things was odd - he accused me of cheating on him twice. Once he said my story didn’t add about timings/my movements when I had gone for coffee with a friend. Second he thought I had had a man in the house as he noticed more cigarette butts than normal in the ashtray outside (they were mine as I’d been smoking more than usual). He had also been on Facebook far more than normal which seemed a bit odd. I was very upset when he said he wanted to end it but told him I respected his decision.
I started packing my stuff (we live together) and then he suddenly back tracked and said he couldn’t bear to lose me and he didn’t want to break up. so we are still together but he said he wants a fresh start and no more talk of the past as he’s had enough of being made to feel like a cunt. He has been absolutely lovely since then.
I love the man very much but again my gut instinct is kicking in and I feel very much on the back foot. we don’t argue very often and generally get along very well. I know I shouldn’t have brought up the past and I expect I will get flamed for doing that.
I spoke to a friend IRL about all this and she said him dumping me then changing his mind like that wasn’t on. She also said I shouldn’t have agreed to stay with him (she has never been a fan of his).
it would be helpful to have other perspectives on this please.