Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Found Partner On AdultWork !!!

81 replies

MummyMarie1990 · 02/10/2018 08:37

Hi I’m wondering if anyone can help me or knows anything about this sort of thing.. basically I’ve just found my partner after 11 years on a site called AdultWork with escorts offering their services 🙈 the page had timed out but was stuck in the page where I seen various messages he had sent too different women I’ve tried investigating as much as I can into this site and what this and that means but too one particular girl he has said massage please then a bit further a message saying booking and then a couple more dozen feedback.. I have obvs confronted him and after a while managed too her out of him he had just been looking and admitted too making s booking but couldn’t “actually” go through with it.. I don’t believe him of course and I’ve said how do you explain the message feedback I assume asking for feedback surely there wouldn’t be a message asking for feedback if nothing happened right.. he abolsutmey trying too bare face lie too me I’m 5 months pregnant with our second child and I feel sick too my stomach I know for a fact he’s met up with this girl but have no way too prove it like I said too him why would there be this feedback message then and he just says he don’t know I’ve split up with him and will be going too get checked out soon..

OP posts:
JanieClay · 29/04/2019 14:51

That's a very interesting report, Whichway.

It's very telling that those who are more inclined to go to church are amongst the lower level of cheaters; depending on your viewpoint, it can either show that the church and it's teachings still has a place in society or... just what a tight grip it can have on people.

Noted that the older guys get, the more they get up to!

All of that is really fascinating stuff with the level of breakdown included. I've bookmarked it, so thank you.

RomanyQueen, I hadn't considered paranoia over these gorgeous escorts trying to steal our husbands! I wonder how much a part in this fear ''Pretty Woman'' has to play? I've never seen it, but would guess that in real life, even working girls wouldn't want to date a man they'd met at work.

Men become more kinky as they get older? Well that accounts for the large amount of happily divorced women over 50 then, if it involves hookers and stuff that women quite reasonably don’t want to indulge in Wow, are you speaking from personal experience? Has your OH asked you to visit a sex worker with him?

JanieClay · 29/04/2019 15:00

I'm failing to understand why you're talking about pets and children in this discussion.

I think you brought up ''the suit'' analogy. I was assuming you meant the hiring of something for a short period of time. Perhaps I've misunderstood your many analogies which don't address the point concerned.

If the lady's happy and the man's happy, where is your problem?

Not what society says we should do, say, think or feel. What is it that irks you so? You don't believe she should be allowed to earn money in whichever way she chooses because she's a woman?

Cheekyfeckery · 29/04/2019 15:14

Men don’t do it. There’s no ‘empowerment’ to it.

Men don’t choose prostitution as a career option.

Sex work my arse. It’s prostitution. It’s the control and abuse of (mainly) women by men. Anyone who thinks buying consent is ok is as bad as the men who do it.

Whichwayfoward · 29/04/2019 15:17

Anyone who thinks buying consent is ok is as bad as the men who do it.

And what do you think about the women who make a living from it?

Cheekyfeckery · 29/04/2019 15:18

I think they are victims of abuse.

The whole ‘happy hooker’ myth is bullshit.

JanieClay · 29/04/2019 15:25

Men don't do it because women have a different drive, as already mentioned = physical release vs emotional need.

And there it is: ''Anyone who thinks (differently to me)....

Yadda yadda.

NutellaFitzgerald · 29/04/2019 15:58

It's not just men who don't do it. Wealthy or privileged women don't either.

Women like to choose who to have sex with. Not a completely weird concept.

Cheekyfeckery · 29/04/2019 16:11

I don’t think you understand - unless you are saying Men don’t prostitute themselves because they have a different drive...?

Men’s ‘needs’ are perpetuated by men. By telling you they have ‘needs’ and that they are entitled to sex, and you buying their shit, they can carry on paying to fuck.

I don’t think you get it, and I can’t be arsed to explain it to you.

JanieClay · 30/04/2019 06:41

If you stopped looking for ways to be rude to people who rarely post on here, if at all, you may have found it easier to comprehend what I said. As you ''can't be arsed'' to explain your viewpoint and appear to have posed a question as a statement; the answer to your ambiguous question is:

Women generally don't get the same pressing need to have sex (they don't have testicles, to help you understand better), so there's no market for male sex workers (or prostitutes, for those of us still in the 1600's) for women. And as has been pointed out, women like to feel something about the person they're going to have sex with when it's for their own need (women generally need to feel secure to procrastinate for the sake of raising her family - nature).

Men do offer sexual services and it's usually for men. I'd guess that those seeking male sex workers can even be married men, betrothed to some narrow minded, holier-than-thou type who has no room to learn anything outside of the doctrines they've been fed. Or simply because he wants to be penetrated.

Isn't it a scientific fact that males to want to spread their seed? Obviously not every single male has the same drive, but that's science ''I'm buying''.

The reason you're struggling so much with this concept may be because you are seeing it only from your own perspective and needs, whilst generally confusing emotional needs with sex.

You can buy whichever story you choose. In fact, you can berate anyone who has a different opinion, as I'm sure you've done many times on this site. What interests me more is why you are so rude and antagonistic to newcomers.

It's evident there are a couple of people in here who take pleasure from attempting to demean others and I find myself questioning why they behave so when someone offers an alternative perspective.

It's a shame to want to close people down the way you do, as people with valuable opinions, facts, experiences or research to offer may well be put off by your constant attempts to belittle.

Some women choose to charge for their services, rather than to give them away. A lesser known concept (years of gender pay gap still in play today). If you're a stay at home mum working for love, not income, I'm pleased for you if you're happy. If you're out working a full time job and not charging for your services, I applaud you if you're happy. But your way is not the only way, some women enjoy having cash.

Instead of calling men bad for using the services or calling women bad for offering them (especially if you believe they're all abused women), perhaps you should look more deeply at the reasons why this is a massive industry and perhaps expand your mind to other ideas.

Cheekyfeckery · 30/04/2019 06:54

Nope.
It’s horrifically abusive.
If you really think buying someone’s body to orgasm in is acceptable you really need to look at yourself.

RiversDisguise · 30/04/2019 09:15

Janie is so obviously a man. A man with needy testicles, apparently.

Worrynot1 · 30/04/2019 11:39

I know very few men who are faithful over the long term we have all cheated on some level. I have always seen relationships as a compartmental thing I am with you, love you but you don't own me.
So it leaves us an option to lie and go and shag someone innocent of the fact we are in a relationship, someone who knows but keep them hanging on or a sex worker. The latter requires the least effort and maintenance or emotional involvement.

The days of the dreary monogamous relationships are over. For all, you outraged and self-righteous out there. I have seen some good family guys who are not narcs or abusive have that little bit on the side now and then. I have also seen a few taken to the cleaners by getting caught.

JanieClay · 30/04/2019 12:30

The latter requires the least effort and maintenance or emotional involvement.

Wish I could have been as succinct!

There's been a few ladies on here willing to share an alternative view and I truly thank you for that.

It's refreshing to know I'm not alone in this obvious knowledge and that whether we label it demonic or natural, guys can attach a different meaning to sex than many women generally do.

Worrynot1 · 30/04/2019 13:14

Look at the bitterness hanging on to the concept of mahogany women have on this site. He has spoken to shagged ect. Perhaps in the past when the little woman was at home and needed her man to support her it was valid. In these equal times women can support themselves and we should all be able to view our sexual life outside of that of our relationships.

AvocadoYUK · 30/04/2019 13:41

So sorry to hear about this for you OP, but the way adultwork works is that feedback= they had a meet. No one asks feedback if they didn't

user1479305498 · 30/04/2019 14:20

Well those of you posting on here that sex workers and bits on the side are now the norm, could you do womankind a favour and let us know that’s what you are up to, so us partenered up women that aren’t ok with this (which is probably 95%) can at least decide to end it without having to turn into Colombo

Cheekyfeckery · 30/04/2019 14:43

It men like Janie that give men a bad name.

JanieClay · 30/04/2019 15:49

Well those of you posting on here that sex workers and bits on the side are now the norm

I'm not entirely certain it was ever suggested that paid for sex was ''the norm'' and of course, in this era most partnered up women would not be ok with their husbands paying someone for sex.

Cheekysweary, why don't you just hop back on the vile female bandwagon of name calling without foundation? That'll make for adult conversation.

SpamChaudFroid · 30/04/2019 16:22

(women generally need to feel secure to procrastinate for the sake of raising her family - nature)

Hahahaha! Grin

NutellaFitzgerald · 30/04/2019 17:06

At least Janie has dropped the pretence of being one of 'us ladies'.

If women are, by her feminine, biological natural, we just cant help it ways, so disinclined to sex with strangers while men with their testicles so very inclined to it, then aren't we just over-indulging men's sexual wants over women's emotional boundaries?

And isn't this just simply a symptom or signal of the power inequalities and relative importance we place on one what men want versus what women want. I.e men's wants trump women's. And maybe that is one of the reasons us women (real ones, I mean) are so unhappy about it. Even if it's between two people neither of whom were married to.

And many women, understandably, empathise with the wife of such a man. What about her wants? There are two women in this equation. Neither having a good time.

If sex is such an emotionless enterprise for the betesticled among us, why do they get so angry when there is even a sniff that his partner is anything but monogamous?

Sex work is not like waitressing or cleaning or caring.

Cheekyfeckery · 30/04/2019 19:13

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ewyuckmen · 30/04/2019 22:09

What a depressing thread.
Wish I hadn’t read it.

Whatnots comments especially, break my heart.
I’m a name changed regular and I would agree with user, it would be decent to at least be upfront so those who are into open relationships can go with you and those who aren’t don’t have to bother.

Sickens me to the core.

Good family guys.
That risk their children’s happiness for a shag.
No such thing as good family guys that do that.

JanieClay · 05/05/2019 17:04

Yup! Many people will be sickened by the fact that a man might want to pay for sex.

It's curious that so many people have posted suggesting they're anything but good family guys or good men and have completely missed the point that many guys do have these needs and some will act upon them.

It has been stated that most women view sex differently to men, which is why there has been such wild negative responses, proving the point further.

nutella, you lost me completely when you began using weird comparisons such as; suits, children, animals and wealthy women, so I'll guess you're attempting similar and swerve round it if you don't mind.

JanieClay · 05/05/2019 17:13

Interesting ''spamchaud'', clearly you don't agree with most of the women in here about needing to be in some sort of trusting/loving relationship to have sex.

Feckers2018 · 05/05/2019 20:41

What an entitled attitude you have Janey. Why are you pretending to be a man?

Swipe left for the next trending thread