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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Found Partner On AdultWork !!!

81 replies

MummyMarie1990 · 02/10/2018 08:37

Hi I’m wondering if anyone can help me or knows anything about this sort of thing.. basically I’ve just found my partner after 11 years on a site called AdultWork with escorts offering their services 🙈 the page had timed out but was stuck in the page where I seen various messages he had sent too different women I’ve tried investigating as much as I can into this site and what this and that means but too one particular girl he has said massage please then a bit further a message saying booking and then a couple more dozen feedback.. I have obvs confronted him and after a while managed too her out of him he had just been looking and admitted too making s booking but couldn’t “actually” go through with it.. I don’t believe him of course and I’ve said how do you explain the message feedback I assume asking for feedback surely there wouldn’t be a message asking for feedback if nothing happened right.. he abolsutmey trying too bare face lie too me I’m 5 months pregnant with our second child and I feel sick too my stomach I know for a fact he’s met up with this girl but have no way too prove it like I said too him why would there be this feedback message then and he just says he don’t know I’ve split up with him and will be going too get checked out soon..

OP posts:
NotTheFordType · 14/12/2018 15:09

@RyderWhiteSwan

I'd say less than 1%.

lots of men trying the "I'm booking as you are a surprise for me wife"

Um no love.

RyderWhiteSwan · 14/12/2018 15:21

Ah, thanks, Ford! like I said, I have heard of it, and wondered if it was more prevalent now, with porn being so mainstream nowadays, but it appears it is still a niche market.

5fivestar · 14/12/2018 15:54

I cannot imagine any women with self esteem and in love with their partner being ok with this scenario

RatRolyPoly · 14/12/2018 15:56

Every. Single. Man. says they were just messaging for the thrill.

And then when it turns out they made an appointment, they say they didn't go.

And then when it turns out they went they say they couldn't go through with it.

And then when it turns out they tried, they say they couldn't get it up.

And then when it turns out they could, it was just a blow job.

And then when you realise they were looking for sex, met up for sex, paid for sex and were physically capable of having sex... you know full well they had sex.

I'm so sorry OP, I know how you feel.

MummyMarie1990 · 14/12/2018 16:09

Andycs you know more than anyone then surely there wouldn’t be a message requiring feedback if he hadn’t turned up and had a service.. he still denying it even now ?! I’ve got a flat now and wanting too move on just wanna know the truth

OP posts:
RatRolyPoly · 14/12/2018 16:36

It's so frustrating isn't it, you just want to hear them say it. The lying to your face is almost more offensive than anything they've done behind your back. But you may not ever get it Sad

Glad to hear you've got a flat. Perhaps all you need to know is that you're leaving behind a cheat AND a liar, and at least his persisting with the lies shows you he really never is going to change.

Beaverhausen · 14/12/2018 16:52

If he has a message requesting he leaves feedback he has seen a working girl. Also ask him to get his profile up and look next to his name if he has feedback he has had a service

Lightindark · 07/01/2019 19:24

I work on Adult work. There are many things that he could be requested to leave feedback on, such as phone sex and webcam. I understand the hurt you are feeling but just so you know that these above options are more like taylored made porn that says your name back. Most of the time all they want is to "come" and be gone but ratings and feedback is important on this site and even myself who is just a cam girl, I do require it in order to be successful and pay my rent.

JanieClay · 29/04/2019 12:53

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Cheekyfeckery · 29/04/2019 12:57

Absolute fucking bullshit from Janie there.

Cheekyfeckery · 29/04/2019 12:58

What an absolutely appalling opinion to have of men.

MuchaToDoAbout · 29/04/2019 13:05

Just wanted to say best wishes to you for moving forward without this person in your life. I'm so sorry that you find yourself in this position but you sound like a strong and level headed woman who knows they deserve so much more. I hope you are able to get accommodation sorted soon.

Do you have people in RL who are aware of your situation and there to offer support?

barryfromclareisfit · 29/04/2019 13:07

MiggledyHiggins - loving your name. The one X refers to as ‘our president’ even though X is a US citizen ...

NutellaFitzgerald · 29/04/2019 13:17

JanieClay: They don't confuse sex with emotions as we ladies tend to, so they can do the deed and return home happy and relaxed.

Said no woman ever.

We ladies? Really?

The list of rhetorical questions can be answered with 'because women are people and you don't pay to use other people's bodies like you're hiring a suit to wear'

user1479305498 · 29/04/2019 13:24

Men become more kinky as they get older? Well that accounts for the large amount of happily divorced women over 50 then, if it involves hookers and stuff that women quite reasonably don’t want to indulge in

Cheekyfeckery · 29/04/2019 13:26

Someone’s done a right number on Janie. Poor thing.

Or they are a bloke.

Ginkythefangedhellpigofdoom · 29/04/2019 13:28

The truth doesn't matter, what happened doesn't matter.
The details are only there for you to torture yourself.

Your response should be act like it happened because you will never know but the behaviour means he wanted (probably did) to.

Get yourself tested for sti's as you need to make sure your treated if it's needed.

You know enough to know it's over. Move on and move up op.

Plipplopbop · 29/04/2019 13:35

Zombie. (Luckily, so OP won't see Janie's crap)

Cheekyfeckery · 29/04/2019 13:44

Oh god! You are right! 🙄

JanieClay · 29/04/2019 14:04

Yup - MOST IMPORTANTLY - defo go get tested and find a genuinely supportive network to help you through.

The list of rhetorical questions can be answered with 'because women are people and you don't pay to use other people's bodies like you're hiring a suit to wear'

If both the guy and the gal are merely engaging in a mutually agreed transaction as though it's the'' hiring of a suit'', what is it exactly that makes you so upset?

RomanyQueen1 · 29/04/2019 14:14

Well done Janie There are some paranoid women on here, worried their dh might like a prostitute more than them, it's laughable and also the ones who end up divorced.
Even though it's a zombie thread, well said.

Whichwayfoward · 29/04/2019 14:17

Sadly I tend to agree that cheating is rife.

Interesting article here

ifstudies.org/blog/who-cheats-more-the-demographics-of-cheating-in-america

NutellaFitzgerald · 29/04/2019 14:18

Again, said no woman ever.

Because A woman's body, specifically the interior thereof is not like a suit. by your logical argument:

If i say: One does not simply buy or sell children as of they were pets.

You say: so what is it exactly that makes you so upset?

Uh because they are not pets and shouldn't be sold.

Of course my analogy isn't completely comparable (a woman owns her own body more than she owns her children) but it's the same flaw in your logic.

When a woman sells time inside her body it is not nothing, it is not like hiring a suit.
Women are typically, uncomfortable with two parts of prostitution.

  1. the idea that a man who is intended to be sexually faithful to her has his dick inside another woman

And/or

  1. that a woman's body is treated as a commodity that can be paid for like a suit or fairground ride.

Because, like it or not, sex is one of them funny things in our society that comes with feelings (not just we ladies either. People, including men, murder for the sake of it). And society is, thankfully, more comfortable with women having enjoyable sex with men they are sexually attracted to. And willing and enthusiastic participants.

It isn't like waitressing or massage or accounting or hairdressing.

Whichwayfoward · 29/04/2019 14:27

Wtf? Nutella, I found that hard to make sense of.

NutellaFitzgerald · 29/04/2019 14:33

Whichway:
Then forget my crappy analogy and just focus on the second part.