Would you break up over this?

[GinAndSlimPlease]

This is a bit of a weird one. I’ve with my boyfriend for five months and last night we went out for my friends birthday party. He hadn’t met this particular group of friends before. As soon as we walked in BF looked very anxious, pulled me to one side and said that he knew one of the women in the room as they’d previously met on a dating app before he knew me. He said it was about a year before we met and nothing happened beyond a few messages. I didn’t have a problem with that at all and we had a nice evening. I didn’t think anything of it.

However today my friend whose birthday it was called me to say that she had spoken to the dating app woman and apparently my boyfriend matched with her on the app a month before me and him met (so he lied about the timing), nothing really happened with them (none of my business if it did tbh) but he has messaged her a few times over the past couple of months. She said she thought I should know and sent me screen shots of the messages. They weren’t flirty, just ‘hey how are you? I’m bored at work, what you doing?’ kind of thing. My boyfriend has point black said this didn’t happen even though I’ve seen them!! He then keeps saying he doesn’t remember sending them and that this woman is clearly jealous that he’s with me and not her.

The problem is, I’ve had my suspicions that he’s not entirely trustworthy but there’s never been firm evidence just things like being overprotective with his phone, being on Facebook for hours every evening and hiding his friends list on there.

All things considered would it be wise to break this off? My gut feeling is he is not to be trusted.

Yes. He's already lying

Gut rarely lies. He was fishing.

Trust your gut

You know he's lying, you've seen the evidence. So yes he is not trustworthy! ! Dump.

Yes I would. You need trust

I'd not be happy with this

Can't stand a liar

What an idiot, lying when there's evidence available.

Dump him - you can't trust him. I hope the other woman blocks him as well.

If you have had your suspicions then you know what to do. Dump the lying twat!

For lying, yes I would break it up.

I was honestly expecting people to tell me I was overreacting/being insecure. He sounds like a bit of a creep doesn’t he?

If he's lying about this he'll be lying about other things. Is he that unlucky that the only other woman he's continued to message ended up at the same room as him?...unlikely. For me the trust would be gone and I'd end it. Sorry op

One more thing. Before he met me he told me he had been single for four months. I have since found out that he was dating someone during those four months, he introduced her to his parents and then she dumped him. I know all of this for a fact however he is insistent he was single that whole time. It just seems so odd. A couple of days ago he was on his phone showing me photos and I then saw that he’d screenshotted this woman’s Facebook page. I asked him about it (he has no idea I know he went out with her) and he said he had sent her details to a friend because she is a childminder and his friend was looking for recommendations (he showed me the messages to prove all this). I just found that all really bizarre as well. Why be so secretive?

I'd get rid. If he'll lie about stuff that doesn't really matter, what else will he lie about?

ShitStorm (love your username by the way). That is very true. The weirdest thing is that he lives two hours away from my friends and the dating app woman. The fact he turned up at a party and someone he met on Tinder happened to be there seems odd. He must have set his location radius a very wide distance to have matched with her. Even my friends commented on that.

He's been your boyfriend for 5 months, and he's already been
caught in a lie! Definitely time to move on.

Best to know now, than 5 years down the line though.

Sorry.

He shouldn't even be on dating apps if he's your boyfriend. Don't carry on seeing him

Yep ditch him. Better you found out now than later down the line! Lucky escape really

I went out with a compulsive liar for a while. I don't think he cheated (until the end, when I'm pretty sure he did) but he used to lie about the most ridiculous things (to everyone, I heard him do it) so couldn't trust anything he said - it was draining. I'd end it personally.

To clarify, the dating app woman said that his profile had been deleted not long after he met me (she checked) and that when he messaged since we got together it was via text message. Not excusing him at all just clearing up some details as I wasn’t clear in my Op.

What a rat. He needs to go.

Well, you have your "firm evidence" now

How much more firm does it need to be ? Catching him balls deep in another woman ?

Pull yourself together and get shut of this creep

AnyFucker I fully intend to dump him. He’s no good.

Thank Christ for that

When are you dumping him ?

If he'll lie about stuff that doesn't really matter, what else will he lie about?

This. One day he'll be telling you that you didn't hear him do or say something you actually did. Who needs that?

Thank goodness he showed his colours sooner rather than later!

Perhaps this will be the shock he needs to wake him up a bit. He can't treat people like that and you definitely deserve better!!

I wonder whether he set his search so wide so that he could cheat on a girlfriend. I reckon this bloke lies and lies and lies.