I don't disbelieve anything you've written OP, so this is just general advice:
A good exercise to do to check how reasonable your standards are is to imagine what you would be like if you were a woman. And be brutally honest. Don't add in any assumptions about how you'd behave/dress/groom differently if you were female.
This works a lot better than "Would I date me" looking at yourself as a man, because that leads to you comparing yourself to male standards. Find all the things you think make you less attractive to partners and ask yourself if you genuinely can find a woman with those same things attractive.
A purely illustrative example: I'm autistic and actively prefer autistic men. But a lot of autistic people are carrying internalised prejudice and won't date any other autistic people. Because they've got it into their heads that we are what unattractive looks like. They might get "lucky" dating allistic people, but if they don't, I don't think they have much right to complain, really.
And that applies to anything and everything. You have every right to get a bit despondent, as long as you genuinely would think a woman exactly like you was dateable - whether you actually would fancy her or not; I'll come back to that in a moment - and would be happy to be with her and be seen with her.
It's highly unlikely to come up, of course, because the pluses and minuses will be different, but thinking about it fully should help you calibrate your standards.
Once you've done that, then you can tweak your ideas to account for aesthetic preferences, or personality traits that you know complement, rather than matching, yours. In the knowledge that they may need to be balanced out in other ways.
This is all only a thought exercise; I know dating doesn't work quite this logically in real life. I think injecting an added dose of logic might help some people, though, given the aspirational, trophy-seeking approach many seem to have to it.
I also second the advice upthread to take another look at what you write. It's surprisingly easy to come across badly on online dating.
I rejected a guy who'd written something like "Looks aren't important to me. It's not that I'd complain if you looked like [name of conventionally attractive film star], but I think there's more to a relationship than that".
He probably meant that he'd find me every bit as attractive because it's personality that makes the difference between someone being hot and not.
But I wasn't willing to gamble that I wouldn't be being constantly compared to his real fantasy. I want to be his fantasy, I want him to find me that hot. Because I only date people I find as hot as I've ever found anyone before. And I'm not willing to knowingly settle for less. If he meant what I hope he meant, he should have said something like "Looking for a real connection" and kept the rest to himself.
And that's not a gender thing; we can all mess up in similar ways.
Think what you would find offputting, then if you need to, twist it around to find its equivalent. TBC