My 'friends' have stolen my belongings!

[Trumpelina]

Has anyone else hosted a party and then found some of their belongings have disappeared at the end of the night? I'm really pissed. I hosted a party for 20 of our best friends and it went swimmingly. Everyone had a nice time, no one got drunk or lairy. Just a lovely pleasant time had by all. I'm clearing up later on & can't find a few things. It's now several days on & the items are definitely missing. I've emailed the group in case anything was taken home by accident but every single person has come back saying no. For the record I lost two beautiful antique serving spoons that I'll never be able to match, a small vintage plate that was particularly pretty and a small silver rabbit ornament that was on the shelf in the upstairs loo. I'm absolutely gutted to lose my precious things but also that the culprit must be amongst my friends & I've no idea who. There were no children present. Anyone else have shitty 'friends'?

Arseholes. I completely understand your anger and if it was me I'd be reporting it. I'm sorry that it happened to you and that you now feel that you can't trust your closest friends.

When I was a teenager, my mam gave me her ring. It had 3 rubies in and was surrounded by 3 small diamonds on each side. She bought it (or was given it?) for her 21st birthday. I also had a silver ring and a watch that my dad had given me. After a party on bonfire night one year, my mam was ill and my aunty, her sister, looked after her whilst everyone else was outside. The following morning, my jewellery had gone. I knew my aunty had stolen it, and so did my mam, but she point blank refused to ask for it back or go to the police and because I was so young I felt I couldn't do it myself. The powerlessness and the injustice made me so angry and that anger has never left me tbh. That aunty came to my house a few months ago and I went round moving anything that was of any value and that was small enough to sneak into a pocket.

My youngest sister was the same: she used to steal anything of mine that she liked the look of, be it money, food, clothes, jewellery or alcohol and because we were forced to share a room I couldn't hide anything. The freedom I felt when I was finally able to get my own place and put my stuff where I wanted was immense.

Are the posters who are suggesting police taking the piss? Surely no one is seriously suggesting the OP report this “crime” of a couple of missing spoons, a trinket and a plate and asks the police to interview 19 people in an attempt to find the alleged thief.

I also thought that with two things being downstairs & the other upstairs, perhaps it was two light fingered people & not just one

The rabbit came from Garrads 20+yrs ago. If I make a claim they'll put my insurance up too

I imagine whoever did will suddenly start to extract themselves from the friendship. Watch for it.

Op if it was female, who had biggish handbags?

Ektomarie

I would be checking the bin bags & recycling.

Do you think the rabbit was broken by someone?

Jeremy Kyle lie detector?
This does sound upsetting. I hope you find the culprit/s.

It may be worth having a look on Ebay or Gumtree to see if your items appear on there.

That's absolutely awful, I hope you get them back

To the person who asked if the rabbit was broken? - I doubt it, it was solid silver.

Oh this is sad.

I heard a story a few years ago of a woman stealing something from another woman’s house being encouraged to return it - anyway, she said she couldn’t as she’d already used it - turned out she’d stolen some posh toiletries set... w t f?

Some people are just terrible.

Don't rule out the men. I used to know a chap who had a pathological need to swipe one piece of cutlery from every restaurant he ever visited.

You know your friends.

Is someone's home filled with mismatched cutlery, random ornaments, vintage dishes etc?

Especially if they can't really afford them.

Who helped clear up?

I imagine the 12 foot woman would pick a larger plate though. My money’s on the 4 foot kleptomaniac with an aviation fixation.

Well i dont know what calling the police would do. I think you need to just grieve your lost things as they wont be returned.
What i might do is reply all and say that these things must have been stolen, detail what they are and that because you dont know who took them, you will not be hosting any more parties and that you are disappointed. At leats they might feel a little guilt from it. Also by detailing the itmes and where they were you might find some friends come forward saying "i saw x go upstairs" or "oh x was admiring that plate". And if you get a few people saying the same persons name then you have your culprit. (Probably).

I had a very expensive bracelet stolen from our bedroom during a party twenty years ago, worth over £2000.00. My mum was upstairs and though she heard a friend in our bedroom, but when I told her , she was horrified that someone would do something like that.

I don’t think the police will be much help if there are 20 possible suspects. You might want to check out pawnbrokers in the areas near to where your friends live. If they have pawned anything the shop will have seen ID and possibly CCTV. I know it seems unlikely that anyone would use them for that but stolen property is sold that way all the time. You can set up searches on eBay too so you are alerted if a particular item is listed. Might be worth it since they will likely wait for a while before listing.... if they’re bright of course.

@Trumpelina

You don't actually need to make the claim. Email this

"Hi guys, I'm sorry to bring this up again but I've gone through all the rubbish bags and turned the house upside down but still can't find the items. I've called my insurance but have been told I need s crime reference number. I will unfortunately need to report to the police & give them the guest list so will do that on Monday so I can be sure the thing a have gone. I don't want to waste police time or deal with insurance bit these things ate antique and precious to me. So can I ask one more time that you all check your handbags as they are so small they could have been knocked in or mixed up with other stuff. If anyone finds anything, just pop them through my letterbox before Monday."

I agree that you shouldn't rule out the male guests. We used to be friends with a couple (coincidently enough I've mentioned the woman in a separate thread this evening and I haven't given them a passing thought for years), and it was the husband who liked to 'appropriate' other people's things. They were relatively well off but he just got a kick out of it. Can you identify who went upstairs to use the loo?

Agree with 50shades What a good idea.
Hope it works.
Nothing worse than light fingered 'friends'

Don't report it to your insurance co. You won't be covered as you invited people into your home. But it will be recorded as a lose and will increase you premium at renewal

My suggestion here is to study their body language. Obviously you can’t accuse anyone but speak to each one individually telling them how upset you are that someone has stole from you. Just see the reactions. A guity person will often give themselves away by over exaggerating their innocence.

You say no one was drunk or lairy but I'm reckoning someone was a bit pissed and took the items. They will have woken up sober and embarrassed but no way will anyone admit to it. I'm sorry to say your chances of getting any of them back are remote.

I agree with other people’s suggestions to tell all the guests that you have contacted your insurance company and they have told you to call the police.

I would say that if nobody accidentally moved or took the items then someone must have broken into the house and burgled it.
I’d give the thief the opportunity to return the items anonymously, but I would also probably install a security camera so that I found learn the identity of the thief.

If nobody comes forward or returns the items I would definitely go to the police, friends don’t steal from friends.