what makes a husband an alcoholic?

[gibal]

hve named changed .. i trust..
and am not going to be here all day...
however what do you think makes someone an alcoholic, or rather does my dh's bheaviour mean he is one?
he comes home from work at 5.30 and is on the vino as soon as he gets home.
weekends are worse, starts early afternoon.
not really involved in family life. after a few drinks is angry and aggressive and unreasonable.. he does hold down a job, by hook r by crook, though thre have been some bad moments.
our sex life is zero.
that is the bad side, .. there is obviously a good side to him but i find it hard to see if sometimes.

"he says this is the way he is - and I guess I knew this so I can't complain. "

What? Are you serious? Just because you knew this doesn't mean it's okay. I would say to him "Yes, I knew it was a problem then and I know it is a problem now."

You're quite right - it's just a matter of getting him when he's not in a defensive mood - that shall be my project for the weekend...

You can't be responsible for his actions. If he reacts in an unreasonable manner is not down to the way you approached him. Don't blame yourself.

You can only be responsible for your own actions. If you are tip toeing around his drinking patterns, that is not healthy for you, him, or anyone else who lives in your house.

look here for al anon reading material

gibal..have you looked at the al-anon stuff?..wouldnt worry about waht to say on the phone it'll probably just come out...

give it a try...you owe the kids at least...
you cant tip toe round a drinker forever and it is an illness...
good luck

Gibal feel sad for you.
Just wanted to give you my view from a daughter of an alcoholic.
My dad also started out drinking straight after work with the mood changes, irrationality, aggression, extreme emotions and everything else.

We were NOT happy kids growing up so I hope you do something for the sake of both you and the kids, you all deserve a "normal" life.

Good Luck

yes, unfortunately mum married alcoholic. i do sometimes say,., well she never left him!

he died.

drinking wine out of coffee mug today, pointed out to him that although i did enjoy a drink like him having a family has changed me.. would prefer that he drunk after dcs are in bed, as i do... he does not do the running round after the chldren, dropping off or picking up that i do... sometimes drops off but then i am embarrassed cos i think what would people think!
says he is not prepared to promise anything, says he will give up durig the week. I have been thinking lately more that I might have to live without him..

and i told him i might have to consider leaving!, not shouting or ranting.
anyway he is sober today.. gone to bed.. but still sober.. fingers crossed. he loves me. he is my best friend, part of the time!

second sober night.
we are like strangers, gettng to know each other again.