Has anyone been on the fence about fancying someone but then it developed anyway because you loved their personality?

[6198feekfly]

I fancy his personality so much and the kissing so far has been great. We’ve been seeing each other 2 months. He makes me laugh and I think he is a really really great person. He’s not unattractive, but also not really my ‘type.’

I don’t fancy the pants off him when I look at him. It’s all his personality that has generated the feelings of wanting to kiss him and I enjoyed that. I can’t yet imagine sex with him but do want it to progress.

Has anyone else felt like this and it developed into a full relationship despite this issue at the start? Without wanting to sound arrogant, I know he fancies me so that isn’t a problem.

I really like him...

Sex can be shit with people you fancy though.

When I was younger I slept with someone I'd massively fancied for ages and it was meh. It's not that he wasn't good - technically it was fine, but the massive fancying and kissing chemistry didn't equate to sex chemistry. Damp squib.

Yes! Didn't fancy DH at all when I met him but we got on like a house on fire from the get-go. Bedroom department was kind of awkward but we gelled in every other way and he made me laugh till I was nearly sick, so I stuck it out, and sure enough, as the love grew, so did the lust. Now I fancy the pants off him (even 10 years older, balding and overweight) and think I always will because I love and fancy his personality.

I'm so so glad I didn't dump him in those early days - we were meant for each other.

Oh, and the sex became amazing - he was a fast learner and very considerate

I didn't fancy my boyfriend all that much when we first met, but now we've been together for 3 years, my 5 year old calls him dad and we're having a baby together.
No one in this world gets me like he does. He literally knows me better than I know myself ☺
And I fancy the bloody crap out of him now, can't keep my hands off him 😂 (tmi)

Yes, 7 years in now. Fancying someone's personality and not their looks has been much more successful than the other way around. A very slow burner.

Yes and we have been together 10 years, married for 2!

I absolutely love reading all these posts :)

Yes, I didn't not-fancy DH when I first met him, but I didn't fancy him either. One day, after being friendly for about a year, circumstances meant I saw him in a different light, and it was like a lightbulb going on in my head.

I've a history of this and find that flip switch happens when I see (previously meh) bloke doing something he's really good at, whether that's musical, sporting talent, or applying high intelligence to something. Maybe find out what this chap is really good at, and go and see him doing it.

Awh love these!

Yeah and honestly the first few times I was not that into it, was seriously thinking of ending it. But the more I got to know him, the sex did get better and the attraction with it.

I think you do just need get it over with tbh.

Yes, I had this, I let it develop because he was great and we got on so well. The sex was (surprisingly) great. In many ways we were fab for each other and very compatible. But in others we weren’t. We were some-what mismatched in terms of sense of humour and life experience. If these things had developed the lust for him might have developed more. But in the end it wasn’t enough. We were together about a year.

Just to add - those first few months of not fancying him, the sex was shite! Laughably bad (he thought it was great, but I definitely doubt his bragging stories from all those years as friends). I put up with it because of the connection we had and then fell for him anyway... a year after it was safe to say I was/am very happy to have him as the only person I ever sleep with again.

Pump what changed? Did it get better or you loved him so that was that?

Me too!
Met online, got on really well texting etc, I had very high hopes of our date.
I was disappointed - bald, bit overweight, didn't like his voice - but we still had a lovely evening chatting. I agreed to a second date, mainly so as not to hurt his feelings, but also because we had a laugh together.
I knew he fancied me, so I thought, what then hell, I'll give it a go, and it turns out he's amazing in bed!
We've been together a couple of years now, sickeningly happily and in love.
When I see him across a room I don't think "ooh he's gorgeous", but I definitely fancy him because I love him and he's a great person.
I'm in my 50s now, so everyone's looks are fading. Maybe that makes me more aware that attraction isn't just based on aesthetics, there's so much more to it.

Ermm he finally stopped finishing after just one thrust, so definitely got better! It's hard to explain further than that, but there was suddenly an ignition of passion?

I ended up with someone i have known most of my life. Never fancied but we always got on amazingly. Over time feelings just became romantic. He led the way telling me when he wasn't with me he couldn't stop thinking about me and that made me wonder if we could be more.

Been together over six years now and our love seems to go from strength to strength. We are definitely each others best friend which is amazing and yes - i do now fancy him as i appreciate all of him now and that makes him very attractive. Plus he has an amazing bum!

These are interesting to read! Attraction is a funny thing isn’t it!

Anymore? :)

Me. It took a while. Reader I married him, and it is his kindness and loyalty that has got me through some shockingly difficult years of life stuff. I do fancy him still - he also has a lovely bum - but I'm so glad our relationship is based on something other than lust.

Is there something about bums? I know I'm bias but OH also has a fantastic arse

Awh I love these stories! I have found that where there was initial chemistry and desire without really knowing the person, it tended to end badly or just end - hence why I’m still dating I suppose! I haven’t really liked someone like this before, where their personality is just totally addictive, that in itself causes butterflies!

It'a sounding like lovely bums are a common theme!

I remember dp telling me how he felt and discussing it with a close friend. She asked would you be able to dtd with him and i said yes straight away. I guess that's how i knew we would be fine.

We lived opposite each other on an estate as kids and got together mid - late twenties. Are in the process of buying our first home, engaged to be married next year and i am currently 5 months pregnant with our much longed for daughter after a few years of utter shit including loosing mil. 2 mmcs and a stillbirth and a blood clot and severe health anxiety in dp. I dont know if either of us could have got through any of that alone. We both counteract the others weaknesses and make a great team most of the time It's pretty nice!

I love this thread!

I distrust instant chemistry. The two relationships I've had where I was sick with lust were both disastrous, in both cases because the attraction stopped me from seeing their true (weak) characters.

When I first saw DH we couldn't tear our eyes away. He thought I was gorgeous. I thought he had the kindest eyes I'd ever seen. I was right. He was so kind and loving. He could be selfish but he was never unkind.

He wasn't my ideal physically, no, but I quickly grew to fancy him. We had love, trust, friendship - everything. He was my true love and the sex was amazing. It never got boring in the 17 years we were together.

I know at the moment my advice holds as much value as Toys R U gift vouchers, but yes see how it goes with someone who may not be 'your type' - personality counts at the end of the day