Annulment

[thereareflowersinmygarden]

Is there an easy way to get one? I've been married a week and have changed my mind, basically.

None of the grounds on the government website fit. Basically the wedding itself highlighted some things I don't like about our relationship.

Slightly annoyed that I appear to be locked into this marriage for a year at least.

Been together eight years and have a child together. It's very sad, but there you have it.

Why have you changed your mind? An annulment isn’t very easy to get, you have to prove there was deception and/or the marriage can’t be consummated.

www.gov.uk/how-to-annul-marriage

its not easy though - good luck.

therealimposter OP had already said she'd looked at that

Does your situation meet these criteria? (from the website already linked)

You or your spouse must have either:

lived in England or Wales for at least a year
had a permanent home in England or Wales for at least 6 months

1. Your marriage is not legally valid - ‘void’ marriages

You can annul a marriage if it was not legally valid in the first place, for example:

you are closely related
one or both of you were under 16
one of you was already married or in a civil partnership

If a marriage was not legally valid, the law says that it never existed.

However, you may need legal paperwork to prove this - for example if you want to get married again.

1. Your marriage is defective - ‘voidable’ marriages

You can annul a marriage for a number of reasons, such as:

it was not consummated - you have not had sex with the person you married since the wedding (does not apply for same sex couples)
you did not properly consent to the marriage - for example you were drunk or forced into it
the other person had a sexually transmitted disease when you got married
the woman was pregnant by another man when you got married

Marriages annulled for these reasons are known as ‘voidable’ marriages.

leland The OP has already said none of the grounds on that website fit her situation

Sorry, Shatners -- very disturbed night is affecting my reading comprehension. .

Then, OP, I think you are going to have to wait to divorce.

Really? How absurd. Love to know the justification for that!

Well I suppose unlike some contracts there is no 'cooling off' period in the marital one. You were asked during the ceremony if you freely consented to enter into the contract and you said yes. The contract you entered into has a minimum duration of one year, a bit like a mobile phone contract. (Now imagining what a PAYG marriage might be like but I digress).

Unless there were extenuating circumstances which would have affected the consent that you gave (which there aren't), the contract is valid for one year.

Terms and conditions apply!

Sorry to hear that you are stuck in this situation, I assume you can separate immediately and if there are assets to protect maybe do a separation agreement straight away?

Well, I suppose the reasoning that the criteria above imply, OP -- an annulment isn't a way of ending a marriage (the way divorce is), it's the legal recognition that it was never a valid marriage in the first place according to those criteria.

If you're 'just' unhappy (I say that like it's nothing, but I recognise it's not), then it is a valid marriage, just one that isn't working for you, and you will need to jump through the various hoops to end it via divorce.

Maybe there should be a cooling off period. Never thought about any of this until yesterday.

What’s changed so much in a week?

You've been together 8 years, the problems were there before the wedding so it isn't the contract rules that are the issue.

What happened OP? Do you def want to break up or would couples counselling help?

One of my friends was together with her ex for 20 years before they got married and have 3 children. The wedding also highlighted why they were wrong for each other and they broke up within weeks.

If you don’t fit the criteria then it’s just the divorce option. You can always separate now, even if you can’t get divorced for another 51 weeks (it might need to be longer than that depending on the basis of the divorce). You don’t have to stay living together and if they’re unlikely to agree to the divorce, you should start your 5 yr separation ASAP

England or Scotland?

is England not 2 years with consent, 5 years without?

Whereas Scotland is 2 years without, 1 year with.

Although the consultation in England suggests this may be about to change.

The problem is, I need to buy a house for my son and me to live in. How can I do that if I'm still married and my partner not have a claim on it?

I can afford to do that on my own. Don't want his money, just my piece of mind back.

Could you both agree to say it hasn’t been consummated? No idea if it would work btw, just an idea!

Get some legal advice. There are options if you want to separate your finances now.

Debating a piece of law won’t help you seems an unusual thing to do.

The problem is, I need to buy a house for my son and me to live in. How can I do that if I'm still married and my partner not have a claim on it?

Go and see a solicitor, get a legal separation document drawn up that you both sign with witnesses - usually his solicitor and yours - and then you can buy the house after that I believe. I'd leave it a good while before you do, doing it the day after is going to look odd if he does try and claim it. Do not ever let him stay in the house once you have bought it before you are divorced.

I doubt he'd agree to that ha ha!

Maybe there should be a cooling off period
There is - between the engagement and the moment you say ' i do'.

Basically the wedding itself highlighted some things I don't like about our relationship
So why did you choose to ignore the red flags?
why did you decide to go ahead with getting married if you weren't 100% sure?
will you be returning any wedding gifts and reimbursing everyone's expenses associated with your self indulgent party?

I need to buy a house for my son and me to live in. How can I do that if I'm still married and my partner not have a claim on it?
instead of jumping into another serious and legally binding contract, why not deal with the consequences of the first one?....and give yourself a 'cooling off period' by renting for a while longer?

I have to agree with Heebie here. I don't get it. This is Monday. So you got married Monday and have changed your mind? After eight years and a child?

You say haha at the suggestion of saying you have not consummated the marriage, so presumably you have....

Other than that the grounds of divorce are as stated earlier depending on your country and there is no way out other than to wait those periods.

I'm not the first person to make a mistake and I won't be the last. I'm getting some stick here for no real reason.

I'll happily return gifts, most of it hasn't arrived and none of it I want. The guests, came of their own accord. Who would be so crass to expect a refund in these circumstances? And sure as hell not staying married for their sakes! That's insane!

People make mistakes. In this case, I did it to please someone else, was utterly humiliated in the process and strangely because of that, I want the hell out.

And what makes you think I'm renting now? Odd

You still have to get divorced so there is no point.
I dont understand what purpose it serves