A few days before my step daughter's wedding. My own children and grandchildren invited to evening only. That in itself is fine. They are all adults apart from my grandchildren, with their own lives and don't know each other that well although the only occasion my side of the family had, my step children and partners invited and fully included. For context, my husband and I are hosting the wedding in our garden, covering all associated expenses of
catering, free bar, marquee hire, portable toilet hire and staff to work the day and evening. I've even organised parking in a nearby field and a fleet of minibuses to get people here so we don't upset the neighbours. We do this willingly. Apart from the arrangements, the two mothers have had full control over everything including what catering, dressing the marquee etc etc as I am sensitive to their position and have just been happy to be able to support my DH's daughter in this way. A relative contacted me and said that the bride and groom had made a decision not to have children in the evening so just checking that I was aware so my own grandchildren didn't turn up. I am beyond upset. Clothes have been purchased and my granddaughter face timed us to show off her pretty dress. There was no comment on invitations to say adults only. To be told this with a few days to go and that it's being held in my garden is frankly shitty. It's their day and I respect that but it's still shitty. We all get on well including me and my DH's ex wife and my grandchildren are not tots and are well behaved. Can I please have your perspectives on this please? My husband says they're coming and to leave it to him but the last thing I want is a 'situation'. His view is say nothing and let them turn up. All will be well. I'm not so sure. I know they haven't intentionally hurt me but I'm at a loss as to how to deal with this as I don't want my grandchildren to be upset but equally am trying to be respectful of the bride and grooms wishes.