Am I being unreasonable to be put off potential date because of this?

[Dieu]

Hi. In an attempt to shake off the inertia that I am currently feeling around online dating, I have lined up a date for tomorrow night. I can't say I'm feeling it massively, but the guy does sound really nice. He's steady, you know, always phones and messages when he says he will. He seems keen. I can't say I find him hugely funny or attractive, but he's so nice, and I would feel bad about letting him down. I will be meeting him for the first time tomorrow, though we have been messaging for the past couple of weeks.
Right, here's the thing. He has a few tattoos. Okay, fine. They're not my cup of tea, but all good. He's ex navy, so at least isn't some hipster type . BUT, one of the tattoos is of his grandad, presumably in portrait form.
I get that his grandfather was important to him, but am I alone in finding this rather tacky?
And then I mentioned it to a couple of friends, who pointed out that if we ever had sex, his grandad would be looking down (or up!) at me.
I am honestly not sure if we're going to have much in common, not helped by his choice of tattoo.
I hate to sound mean, but can't really help how I feel.
Is it a lost cause?!

I don't think he's for you, no. I don't think he stands a chance, tbh.

You dont find him funny or attractive and are already taking the piss out of his tattoo of his dead grandfather. Do the bloke a favour and cancel.

I think this is quite a shallow reason not to meet someone.

And I don't especially like tattoos either.

I wouldn't go. He deserves someone who isn't judging him already and who is actually into him. You sound like you are massively pretentious.

You aren't attracted to him and he seems keener than you. It doesn't sound like it's going to work. Just don't go ahead. Sometimes you click with someone, sometimes you don't. The reason doesn't really matter.

I don't think it's fair to say that I was taking the piss. I wouldn't do that to someone. I hadn't even thought of the sex thing until other people had brought it up. But now I can't help but think of it ...

You haven’t met him yet you’re thinking about his tattoo staring at you while you have sex?

It’s a lost cause. Don’t waste his time.

I font think you're going to "click" when you meet him....but you won't know until you do. Go in the date, then let him then gently. It's definitely you, and not him. I'd feel the same, but then I'm quite fussy it seems, looking at other people's standards

Massively pretentious is a complete exaggeration. I am a decent, kind person who doesn't want to let him down. The tattoo thing isn't my bag, least of all one of a dead relative. I'm sure people have had lesser deal breakers.

And I don't seem to have had this reaction in real life at all

I wouldn't waste his time, you're obviously setting yourself up not to like him anyway.

If you are serious about looking for a partner though, you might need to be a bit more open minded.

Mistermagpie I daresay you're right. Sadly.
Thanks though.

Why oh why would you waste someone’s time when you’ve got such a low option of them?

I don't know, it's a tattoo, not an actual photo tied to his arm. Tattoos are often poorly done. Nice is good, I've dated enough aholes over the years to have learned that

Sounds like you're looking for excuses.

Look dont go if you dont want to, you dont need an excuse. But IME the nights out you dont want to have usually turn out fun. There's nothing wrong with some pleasent company on occasion and if you don't want to see him again then fine. Just don't be horrible about someone you haven't met just because you're not 'feeling it'

I think you should go . You might be pleasantly surprised , you might not.

Because I wanted to try and give it the benefit of the doubt. I figured we would have a nice evening together, even if nothing comes of it. And I have said repeatedly that he's a nice bloke.

*pleasant

I still maintain that I haven't been 'horrible' about him.

Thanks Shampaincharly. That's all any of us can do, at the end of the day.

Have you watched shallow hall ? You remind me of his friend who wouldn’t go out with the model because she had one toe slightly longer then the other

Ha ha, that's harsh!

People in real life are being polite to your face because telling you you’re being massively judgmental and unfair would probably result in an argument!

We don’t know you and don’t care about offending you so on AIBU you will get brutal truth.

I agree that it’s not fair on the guy to go ahead with the date just to get you “out of your inertia” - go for a walk, read a book, join a club. Don’t waste some poor sod’s time and get his hopes up when you seem to dislike so much about him already!

And for future reference it’s kind of important to tick at least ONE of your boxes before arranging a date. If he’s not attractive to you, not funny and you don’t have respect for his basic life choices this is not a go-er!

YABU. You know tattoos can't actually see..? No-one is going to be looking down on you.

But I don't think you should go. You don't seem to like him very much so why waste his time?

You sound a bit shallow...it's a few tattoo's!

A lot of men have at least one tattoo.

Don't waste yours and his time!