How many good friends do you have?

[mikeTV]

I've lost a few friends recently and am starting to wonder if it's me or just people drifting apart/it's hard to sustain many friendships when you work/have kids etc.

I have some lovely friends who I don't see often because of time/distance, but we get on and enjoy each other's company when we get together. We occasionally catch up via text etc in between times but it's not a regular thing.

I have fewer local friends and I think that's where I'm feeling it! I don't really have the time/ energy to meet new people, but feel sad that I've been dropped by a few of them recently. But it occurred to me that I have no one local to just go out for a drink with, or if I needed emergency childcare etc.

So how many different types of friends do you have? And how easy is it to keep these friendships going?

I have one really good one. That’s about it really.

Very few. I don't seem to be able to keep them - but I do have a few (three) long term, nice and reliable friends. I do have a good network of people to go out for occasional drink, but I really don't have many close friends that I can tell anything to.

I do have a few other 'friends' that I can go out with for a coffee, but they are mostly just for a casual chat I wouldn't call them if I was in trouble or anything.

Just my DP really. I just dont trust people very much these days.

I have lots of people I know quite well, people I would confide in about some things but not others and the person I went to would depend on the situation. I have a number of people I'd be happy to ask for help and again it would depend on what I needed who I went to.

I'd like to think they could all come to me over anything but I know that in reality they all have people they'd go to first.

I only have one good friend I feel completely comfortable with in every situation (apart from DH) but he's a man so that relationship is sadly sometimes tainted by the fact that it's not always "appropriate" to be with him. E. G I wouldn't go away for the weekend with him, that wouldn't be fair on DH or on his wife.

The sort of friend I could call at 3 am in an emergency and would just say ' how can I help ?"

The sort of friend I could call and say .. 'My Car has broken down and DH is away' and their only response would be 'I'll come and get you' ..

4 ( 6 if I can count my brothers)

3 only.

Depressing really. I moved to another country and these 3 have remained very good friends for over the 10 years I have been here and 25 in total. None here though

Family have even grown apart massively.

But I do have my 3

Bestseller me too, one is a man, very good friends indeed but same issues as you.

Ah, you've just put your finger on what's sometimes odd about my friendship with my male friend, despite the fact that we can talk about anything, fontofknowledge. I wouldn't dream of calling him in the middle of the night for fear of upsetting his wife (who's perfectly lovely but I wouldn't want her to think she had anything to worry about iyswim). There are a couple I could call if I was really desperate but in reality, in that situation, I'd call National Breakdown or my Dad.

I have 4 close friends who I have known for years but none of whom live close by and a few friends from past workplaces that I meet up with occasionally. I know what you mean about local friends though I have no-one in the village I live in or nearby that I could call on or got to an excercise class with etc. I completely failed at making friends in the playground due to working full-time/ being introverted and the mums in dds year being a bit cliquey. DDs left primary this year and DS is in year 4 so I think I’ve left it too late!

I have about 8. I'm very lucky.

One.

None.

One who I could count on for anything.

One who is more of a mummy friend, who I would trust with DC but wouldn't call in a relationship crisis.

Possibly 3 others who are a bit peripheral but would be there when the chips are down.

Plus a brother.

My list was longer a couple of years ago. Then the shit hit the fan and I realised a few people were not as close as I'd hoped. A difficult lesson.

My sister
2 best friends since 11
1 new friend for 7 years
1 new friend for 3 years

Maybe fifteen or twenty very good friends. I'm pretty lucky.

I make acquaintances easily but really good friends are hard to come by. I have four, 2 girls and 2 men, some good friends from way back who I never see but keep in regular contact with via SM.

But I recently had a life changing situation that has caused me huge issues both mentally and financially as so many of my so called friends disappeared. I certainly learnt who my real friends were this year.

I think we probably underestimate the number of friends we have or can have. Humans can be tremendously warm and giving. There are friends who I lost contact with 20 years ago, but they are still there when reconnected. The next person round the corner is your friend, you may meet in circumstances that throw you together, but don't know it yet. The world is a place of many people and how many friends we have in some ways depends upon how we define the term. For me at the lower end of a scale of between 1 and nearly 8 billion.

I am very fortunate and still have a large group of school and university friends. Friends I would consider very close and know I could call in the middle of the night and I know they would come and not question it about 6. Good friends I see at least once a month and regularly text catch up for a drink about another 6. I also have good friends I only see two or there times a year due to distance.
My friendships are really important to me and I can't imagine life without them. It is hard work to stay in touch with everyone and juggle work, kids, husband but I am lucky that lots of my friends are in large groups so when we get together we tend to do it on masse.
I always thought relationships can break down and although I would be devastated if mine did I know I would survive. However, some of my friends I have had for 30 plus years and wouldn't cope without them.

I have DH, then 5 close friends from school, 1 from uni, and a couple of people from work I see socially :)
I don't really do acquaintances anymore - Quality over quantity!

One. I’ve only been able to keep the friendship going because it’s online only

3 Sisters
2 brothers
I would and have phoned them all in the middle of the night in an emergency.
1 best friend from school who knows everything about me.
2 friends who I meet maybe once a month, but probably wouldn't phone in an emergency.
Also got 3 friends I've made since having dd.

One, just. We see each other maybe once a month, often less (eg last time I saw her was over 4 weeks ago) and that’s normally a house visit with partners and kids.
My sister and my DH are my best friends. It’s a bit lonely if I’m honest. Would love to have close circle of some girlfriends

I have two or three. Depends on what close means. Just had a very pleasant afternoon with three old friends but I don't feel 'close' to them. The chat stays on that superficial level.

I have a couple of people I would really miss if they weren't close as we share some very strong interests. Another two who I see regularly - at least once a week who are very reliable at being there if you need someone to mind the kids/feed the cat/chat about parenting etc. But if I had a serious issue - if DH was seriously ill or ran off, I'd turn to my sis. We have very little in common day to day and we live hundreds of miles from each other, but I love and trust her more than anyone.

I have 3. They're all people I've known since school. Unfortunately get togethers with 2 of them are rare as they moved to different cities!

I have other friends but not ones that I can share everything with.