How many good friends do you have?

[mikeTV]

I've lost a few friends recently and am starting to wonder if it's me or just people drifting apart/it's hard to sustain many friendships when you work/have kids etc.

I have some lovely friends who I don't see often because of time/distance, but we get on and enjoy each other's company when we get together. We occasionally catch up via text etc in between times but it's not a regular thing.

I have fewer local friends and I think that's where I'm feeling it! I don't really have the time/ energy to meet new people, but feel sad that I've been dropped by a few of them recently. But it occurred to me that I have no one local to just go out for a drink with, or if I needed emergency childcare etc.

So how many different types of friends do you have? And how easy is it to keep these friendships going?

One locally, and about 10 dotted around the U.K.

10 close friends
Lots of acquaintances and social people

1 friend who if I killed someone would say "ok, where should we hide the body?"
3 friends that I can call in the middle of the night for help with no questions.
Several "good" friends that I am very comfortable with and see often.

But those top four are the chosen few.

Uh oh. I forgot two who are in the "middle of the night" group. So six, total.

None I'm not very good at keeping friendships anymore.

One 'hide the body' friend

Three 'in the middle of the night' friends

Lots of coffee/bite to eat/casual banter friends/acquaintances

I'm completely happy with that; it's perfect for me

Those of you who have lots of friends, how often do you see them? How do you find time to see so many people regularly?

2 close friends since age 15
3 close friends since age 35
I am 53 now and don’t believe I will be acquiring any new friends. It’s so difficult to establish and maintain close contact ( for me, at least)

1 good friend who is not at all local but always on end of phone with a listening ear. No real local ones, have never been able to make mummy friends so have just accepted it and keep busy. Does get to me now and again but I think people just haven't brought time for adding new friends these days so don't take it personally.

Friendships take work, as the only childless one in my friends group I am the one who invariably makes contact and organises a day or weekend get together. I appreciate that my friends have husbands/partners/kids that come first never mind the extended family. Two of my favourite friends live in France and New York, I never see them but chat almost daily on SM.

I have 10 good friends (all over 20 years of knowing them) that I could call day or night, although we really struggle to all meet at once, what with our very busy lives.

I have very close family too, including wonderful in laws, I’m very lucky indeed.

I have some acquaintances but they really don’t register on my radar and I don’t feel I’d miss them at all if they disappeared.

I have no Facebook, Instagram etc so no social media “friends”, I wouldn’t count them as friends really.

I have 3 very good friends.

2 live close to me and have known for 4 years through work. And the other is my best-friend from high school, we are part of a group of about 5 others too but our relationship is the strongest I have within this group.

Then I have my husband and my mum I suppose. If they count.

@MattBerrysHair

I see most of my friends at events and parties. Or we organise things for four or more of us, like dinners.

And then I find that having lots of friends leads on to having more because you meet people through people.

I do feel bad sometimes when someone new wants to be a close friend because I don't have time for them.

It think the crisis that "finds out who your friends are" can often (eventually) be a blessing in disguise. I've found they're not who you think they are and some of the "acquaintances" really step up.

@bestseller you are absolutely right. six years ago I went through a very nasty divorce and that was when I learned! Eye-opening, it was.

None. I have someone I see through an activity that I have coffee with at that, and we plan to do that activity. And people I know through volunteering, but no one I could ring in the night, or even to say 'fancy a coffee'.
I'm rubbish at friendships and so busy with work and ds/dh that I don't have any time to throw at it either

Family - otherwise none. Never been good at friends

None.

But I do have one family member who i'm incredibly close to.
Obviously there's DH as well, not sure if that counts.

One very old close friend I can call for anything
One old friend I could call but wouldn't (she has trouble keeping her own life together)
3 local friends I can call in any kind of emergency and vica versa

15 plus friends I see socially and would call if complete emergency and it was necessary, but friendship runs mainly on a chatty happy level and I would not necessarily share anything deeply personal.

I have a few 'mum' friends I meet up with occasionally but if we're talking solid gold friends for life I have 3. Only one I see regularly. One I never see as she lives other side of the country, and the other we try and get together once every few months but difficult with completely different schedules (I have two kids, one on way, so very child related things, she is child free and progressional and works a lot).

Tbh, aside from wanting to see my other two friends more, that's enough for me.

I have about 15 “hide the body” friends. A mix of male and female.

No close friends (that I would dearly treasure) unfortunately. I meet up with an old friend every couple of months but he is male so don't feel I could talk about some things, other than that I meet up with a few casual friends for coffee once a week but it's a general chat and I wouldn't class them as friends I could call in the middle of the night.
I have thought a couple of friendships were becoming closer since I separated from my ex but then the catch-ups/going out started dwindling and it became very obvious that I was not as important to them as they were to me, sadly I took a step back and am beginning to think maybe close girlfriends are not meant to be for me.

I am incredibly fortunate, when it comes to friendships. I have a best friend that I would give my life for, same in return.
I also have a core group of 10 friends that have been super close for the last 25 to 30 years, and while we are spread across the globe, we stay in touch all the time and gather at least once a year to all be together.
I have a group of casual friends as well, that I enjoy spending time with, but that are not the same kind of close.
I have an amazing friendship with my dh, and my siblings as well, but I tell myself they have to, 'case were family 😊

I haven't got the energy to work on friendships these days and being naturally introverted and now sober (15 months) the urge to socialise has dwindled.
I have one or two close friends (although one of those has started to drift as I feel we haven't as much in common any more) and several less close friends and I'm happy with that. Mostly, as I occasionally have pangs of my drinking and more social days but I know how I am now is more real. Plus I have DP who is my main companion.