How many good friends do you have?

[mikeTV]

I've lost a few friends recently and am starting to wonder if it's me or just people drifting apart/it's hard to sustain many friendships when you work/have kids etc.

I have some lovely friends who I don't see often because of time/distance, but we get on and enjoy each other's company when we get together. We occasionally catch up via text etc in between times but it's not a regular thing.

I have fewer local friends and I think that's where I'm feeling it! I don't really have the time/ energy to meet new people, but feel sad that I've been dropped by a few of them recently. But it occurred to me that I have no one local to just go out for a drink with, or if I needed emergency childcare etc.

So how many different types of friends do you have? And how easy is it to keep these friendships going?

Around 10 years ago I would say tons.
Over the years non have stuck around.
My dd was diagnosed with a rare genetic condition which took up most of our time. We were not the “fun couple “ anymore.
So No more entertaining like we used to and our life was taken over by hospital appointments and raising our dc.
Most jumped ship. Others we kicked to the kerb as they were awful and showed their true colours when it mattered most.
Now I have one friend I really can rely on. But lots of family members who are like my friends.
I’m happy with that.

5

I have 3 very close friends followed by 3 close friends who I knew before children. I then have about 2 very good local friends. I also have various friends & neighbours I can meet for coffee and the odd night out. Despite this I still feel quite lonely and isolated at times. Ridiculous I know.

None. My husband is my best friend.

It's interesting, I found that people were really lovely helping us when things went really wrong a few years ago, but these friends have fallen by the wayside now.

So almost the opposite of fair weather friends!

I have friends in different ways - my DSis is my best friend, I have another good friend who I have only see a few times a year but our DD are you the same age, love in different towns but we get on really well; I have to friends from school I keep thinking n touch with but only see them 1/2 times because of location & kids, then I have a couple of groups of local friends who also have kids.
I have lost some very good friends since STBXH left

Friends I could count on for anything? 2

Casual friends I see every now and again... about 4

I'm in a similar boat OP. Have got some lovely friends who live scattered around the country and abroad, but locally its a different story. I worked really hard when we moved to this area five years ago to build up some new friendships and thought I had a decent circle of friends developing. However, I then had the experience which PPs have mentioned where something bad has happened and then you find out who your real friends are. In my case, it was the fallout from infidelity which led to this (I was betrayed by DH and one of these 'friends'). Without going into details of that, I've basically had to start all over again with making local friends again and I'm finding it really tough. Kids are now that much older, which means it's hard meeting people through them. Plus, it's a fairly small town so I've got the added difficulty of avoiding any overlap with the old friendship circle. Would be good to hear some positive stories about making good new friends at my age (I'm 43) - I only need 2 or 3 I think!

Two close friends with one in particular I would tell everything to and be my phone a friend. The rest are pub friends

I have 2 close friends, one of them I've been friends with for nearly 30 years now, the other one I've only known for 2 years. I have made and lost so many friendships over the years, it's insane. I had a lot of friends and acquaintances at uni but only two have stuck around, they live abroad though and I don't count them among my close friends. I've found friendships to be very fickle and unreliable. Like you OP I've had friends be very helpful when I had a crisis, yet the friendship didn't last.
A while ago I realised I was making more of an effort than the other person to keep most of my friendships going, so I stopped contacting them to see what happened. All of them except the four I mentioned above disappeared into thin air.
I am also in the process of losing my closest friend from university after 10 years - she has been extremely distant since she had her first DC two years ago. It was like someone flicked a switch the day he was born. I don't know why, I suspect she has bad PND but she has been so efficient at keeping me at arm's length I can only guess (she lives 700 miles away).
I am not happy with having so few friends, I hope I am going to make new friends in the future. I mostly socialise with the other mums from nursery now.

One that I know I could rely on for absolutely anything and she knoes the same is true for me.

One who would be there to cheer me up if I was down, and would do her best in a crisis.

None. By choice.

I have just lost my best friend of 5 years. I loved her, as a friend. She was however not as committed to days out and time spent together. Especially once she left her husband for a new man. Things came to a head a few days ago and now we are strangers. I am heavy of heart and very sad.
Aside from her, I have a very close friend, who I have been lucky enough to have had in my life for almost 16 years. She is amazing.
I then have two closer but-not-that-close friends whose company I enjoy, one of these I have known for 12 years, the other just over a year.
Then there are some acquaintances and work colleagues with whom I'll meet for coffee every 3 months or so.
I am lucky.

Hmm.

Without doubt, my sister is my BFF and we will always be there for each other, faced with parental shittiness, life dramas, etc.

In the last year I have connected with a fellow sex worker and we're having a ho-mance. We speak every day.

I have a few other people who I might meet for food with if I'm in the area but it will be very superficial