To think my ex will take my children away

[worriedmamma12]

I have posted before that I am having a breakdown. It's been pretty bad with self harming and suicidal thought.

I had to beg my ex to have them for a few days as I needed to recover and he finally agreed when I spoke to his mum and explained bad as I was.

Yesterday was my daughters birthday and we all went out together, ex included (I should mention he was an abusive husband and now has a new gf). It was a very difficult day and I was emotional as I hadn't seen the kids since last Tuesday. I also was in some diazepam so was a bit spaced out and didn't really talk much and avoided him as much as possible. My parents said I was pretty bad crying and rocking at times but I did my best to hold it together.

Anyway today exh mum phones my mum and said that he wants the children to stay with him longer as I am clearly not in a fit state to care for them and that if I didn't agree he'd take me to court! I messaged him to say ok have them until Tuesday, thanks for the support etc but he said he is worried I won't be any better then, wants to know what meds I'm on etc.

I am now really worried that he won't give them back to me. I am getting lots of help and support and have now thrown the diazepam away.

I can't concentrate on myself when I am so worried he will take my babies and move away with them in with his new gf. If I loose them my life will really be over. I miss them so much.

My parents don't think he wants them as it would ruin his lifestyle but I don't trust him. He lied about having a gf then told our 6 year old, he abused me and still manipulated me now. Can he take them and not give them back? Normally they only see him EOW??

I am not 'recovered' completely but I am 10x better than I was on Monday and am able to function normally. I don't really care what anyone thinks, I feel better and that's all that matters. And I dont call over a month a quick recovery?! I still feel low in mood but that's normal for me anyway.

I really hope you get well soon and sending you the biggest hugs 🤗

You need to change the way you feel about this. If you have been having suicidal thoughts then your kids need to be with their dad until you get better. Try to put the past aside and appreciate that he can have them while you get better. I know it’s hard - hang in there.

AnEPleaseBob I'm not oversimplifying, I have a life long mental health problem but this was not a normal part of it and I believe as does the psychiatrist that it was the pill that lead to the abnormal behaviour. Bipolar is a complicated illness that I have been dealing with for years and this time was very different to all the others so I knew something else was wrong. Unless you are a trained professional (and have met me) then I don't really see how you can comment on my mental health. The question wasn't what's wrong with me it was if my husband could legally keep my children if I was ill which was answered. Now I am back to my (almost) 'normal' self I can show him I am capable of caring for the children as I always have done.

Op

I’m so happy you are feeling a touch better. Some people on here are ignorant when it comes to mental health.

You done the correct thing by asking your ex to have your kids while you stabilised yourself.

You were also correct to feel anxious about it him not returning them given his history.

Your children are certainly better off with a loving parent than an abusive one.

Your appearance probably concerned him and I suppose his mother was worried too. After all he is acting on her wishes.

Look after yourself

And do post again. Unfortunately always factor in that you’ll get the odd troll on your post

Maybe sit with your mum /other family and make a contingency plan for any future bout of ill health (mh or other issue) so you not dependent on ex ? If the EOW with ex works normally and everyone is happy then presumably you can revert to that.

Already done, my mum is retiring in the next two months so I won't need his help again! I still going to ask him to have them 2 weeks in the summer so I get some sort of break. That and some serious counselling and visits from a mental health nurse to help me cope and understand my condition should help me remain stable.

I cared for a lady who had learning disabilities she went on the pill and it totally tipped her over the edge. He behaviour and emotions were already, a bit all over the place but iv never seen anything like this before. Drs took her off it and she went back to her normal self.
When have you agreed your have them back?

It's actually scary how bad it made me, this time last week I was suicidal now I'm feeling normal (as normal as I get). They are coming home tomorrow 😁😁😁 I cried with relief when exh txt me- still being a cock and told me I should of asked him earlier for help..,,,errrrrr I did, you refused to have them. Also bumped into my daughter yesterday which was lovely, even if it meant I met the new gf for the first time!

I was so so shocked at how it made this lady, she was taken off it asap!