'You chose to get fat'!!

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Without going into detail, when discussing clothes yesterday with my husband he said 'well, you chose to get fat'!

After a serious illness and two lots of major surgery/lots of drugs over a period of five years I have gained weight. I have also got an autoimmune condition which means that during a bad spell I spend one of my days off doing nothing but recovering from the week.

I find myself going to work and doing little else because I am spent so yes, I haven't been very active at all. Hands up, but I have ensured that the bills are paid (my job is the steady job, his work is project based).

I feel so resentful and have told him that, he thinks he is completely justified and has said that, advising 'you even stopped stretching' something he does obsessively.

I am so very angry and can't see past it right now. I haven't been sat on my arse eating junk food watching tv, I have been ill, working full time, taking meds which include weight gain as a side effect.

Not sure if I even expect anyone to agree with me, I am just feeling a bit fed up.

Do you know what OP. Last year I was signed off work in January and was bedridden until June when I had surgery and I wasn't back on my feet until October. I am still slightly in the rehabilitation stage if I'm honest and it has been a slow and hard grind to get where I am . My DH has been amazing. I put on a fair bit of weight which was really contraindicated with the surgery I had. He did every single thing that needed to be done here and that included doing a lot of things for me that I am sure he would rather not have had to do. It turned out he had cancer during all this and has since had surgery which I nursed him through. He was AMAZING. He is AMAZING. He has built me ramps, sorted zimmers and bed pans. Held my hair while I chundered and wiped my face and my arse. He's not in a caring profession by the way but he stepped up. I nursed him through serious illness seven years ago as well as this recent diagnosis and he has paid me back in kind. I look at his face and want to cry with the amount of love I feel for that man and I think (hope) the feeling is mutual. It's what marriage is about. Bad times as well as good. You deserve a rock. A decent bloke. A fella like my DH. Go get one girl. Mine cannot be the only decent male human being on the planet that is happy to wash shit out his wifes hair if need be (don't ask!) Yours sounds like he is only there for the good times. Cut him loose and let some sap have the 'pleasure' of him not you. You deserve an altogether upgraded model.

Made my day reading your brilliant update. Things will work out.

So very happy to see your update. People are right. Why indeed would you tolerate another second of this horrible man in your life if you aren't constrained in the usual way? Great that your brother can come and help you. Just all round hooray! Well done and hope you are feeling much healthier soon.

Good new s 're update .
Look into employ some like au pair/ mother help /cleaner /pa than can drIve your kids around . Once your brother has gone if you don't need any looking after that. A

Great update OP. Your family sound lovely.