Family death... Am I being unreasonable?:'(

[katiecakes123]

Yesterday my dear uncle died. He was only in his 50's. He was out on a walk with my dad and unfortunately collapsed as they neared the pub for some lunch in the countryside. My lovely father could not save him and my heart breaks for him as we were all so close after my dad lost his wife 6 years ago we see my uncle and his wife and kids very regularly.
Uncles wife came to stay with us last night as to expected. Did everything I could for dad and auntie as such a tragic incident. Although I am hurting so much, they need my support. Dad wanted me to drive to chapel of rest today (80+ miles away) and be with the family to say goodbye to uncle. Of course I agreed. Drove all the way up there only for my aunt to abruptly tell me She doesn't want me there and to shoo me back to my car. Dad whispered in my ear I'm so sorry she just said that. Dad looked like he was going to cry. They left me at the door and walked in. She didn't even tell me on the motorway as I drove them up. Dad didn't even know until we were actually walking into the morgue and she viciously announced it. I feel devastated of course I respected her wishes. Cried and cried in my car whilst they said goodbye. Feel unwanted and used for a taxi service. Please tell me if I'm being unreasonable x

This is all obviously very distressing for you, understandably particularly as you were close to your uncle, and you have previously had to deal with bereavement. I agree that your aunt’s behaviour towards you was not what you might reasonably expect. However, as others have pointed out, she has been widowed very suddenly and unexpectedly. Might she not be feeling some anger and possibly resentment at the situation? I suspect that, in the circumstances, you are easy to hit out at. Unfair I know. You sound like a very sensitive and caring person - perhaps you just need to continue to show kindness and understanding? Best wishes.

I'm shocked you're only seventeen. You sound very mature and you've clearly been through a lot. I'm sorry for your losses.

Maybe your aunt didn't say it the day before because she didn't feel she wanted to go in with more people until the moment.

You don't need telling to cut her slack, the implication being you have no understanding, but you need to cut yourself some slack. You've had a loss, you've seen your father devastated, you need to take care of yourself.

Can I point out to people that this thread is in fact in Relationships and not AIBU, so can we pipe down a bit and consider for a second the fact there may be more to this than immediately meets the eye.

Yes, the aunt has been suddenly and tragically widowed but that doesn't give her a right to make everyone else experience of this death worse than necessary. To all of you people suggesting this is the grief talking, why does the grief only express itself in this way after the OP has driven her 80 miles, or after the OP has made her breakfast? Why is her grief expressed by deliberately and suddenly excluding the OP from being around her only family, including her own father, at a time of intense grief? Why is it only being expressed to the OP?

These are the questions it is pertinent to ask on a relationships thread, and I am sorry the OP has not had a bit more of this kind of analysis. I have found the suggestions that OP is 'extended family' when it is quite clear there are some quite extenuating circumstances here particularly mean.

OP, I am very sorry for your loss. It sounds as though you are dealing with a very difficult situation very maturely and it is a shame you haven't been afforded the same by your family. I'm also six months pregnant and very sorry that first of all your mum won't be here to meet your baby and now your uncle who you were obviously very close to won't either. Are you part of a babies due in November thread on here or FB group? They could be pretty supportive.