Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Wwyd- tbh think I should walk away?

65 replies

Suedenym3 · 21/08/2018 15:53

NC’d as long time poster: I feel like I might be going mad

for background: Been in a relationship with DP off/on for 2.5 years

in an off period his ex got pregnant: with his baby. Trapped him.

during our relationship he has slept with her out of pity and even though I am certain he doesn’t love her it still hurt me when I found out iyswim

I dumped him but we have since got back together and made promises to each other

if I dump him he will go back to his mad ex which will be hard for me

he’s asked me to spend bank hol with him

he needs to realise that I am the prize

fwiw, I was never like this before him, I think him and his ex’s behaviour has made me a bit mad

there has to be more to a relationship than this surely?

thinking I should just walk away for good because I don’t think his ex will leave him alone

Feeling a bit crap today because we had sex last night

Today he’s asked me to marry him: feeling very confused notwithstanding the fact I still feel angry that he spent his weekend with his crazy ex

Friends think I’m mad for considering having him back but I cannot deal with him being with her as she has BPD

OP posts:
VanGoghsDog · 21/08/2018 15:56

Yeah, she's crazy and she trapped him, he shags her out of pity - course he does.

Split up with him, for the sake of all three of you!

Biscusting · 21/08/2018 15:56

All three of you are mad!

Ragwort · 21/08/2018 15:57

Walk away - in fact run away - you don't need a dick like this in your life. Have some self confidence, tell him to get lost and enjoy your own company without all the drama.

AnyFucker · 21/08/2018 15:57

All as bad as each other

AlwaysSleepy1 · 21/08/2018 15:57

OP I presume from your post you have no kids/commitments... run run run! She is not tricking/trapping him - he knows what happens when he sleeps.with her but keeps going back! Don't let this be the thing you look back on and wish you hadn't wasted time on him - run a mile. xx

Mrskeats · 21/08/2018 15:59

Really you need to get a grip

SleepingStandingUp · 21/08/2018 15:59

in an off period his ex got pregnant: with his baby. Trapped him and didn't trap him - they both had sex voluntarily. And he isn't trapped is he because he's still coming back to you for sex.

during our relationship he has slept with her out of pity and even though I am certain he doesn’t love her it still hurt me when I found out iyswim
No, he's having sex with her because he wants to. He might not love her but he fancies her enough to have sex with her. Whilst in a relationship with you. He chose to cheat on you by having sex with his ex because he wanted to.

Leave him. Leave him and never look back.

Bineverywhere · 21/08/2018 16:00

I've got BPD... Nothing makes me more crazy than a man being an arse.

Not sure I've ever been pity-shagged though...

ScienceIsTruth · 21/08/2018 16:00

Have my 1st LTB.

He won't stay faithful to you as he knows you don't value yourself enough; proven by the fact that you keep taking him back.

He won't change

makeitalargegin · 21/08/2018 16:03

Your a 'prize' Hmm
You sound as bat shit crazy as his ex tbh

Get over yourself

Namechange8471 · 21/08/2018 16:03

Surely a troll?

Thingsdogetbetter · 21/08/2018 16:04

Do you actually know his ex? Or are you just accepting his word for all this shite?
He cheated on you with his ex out of PITY? He doesn't love her but is happy to shag her, when he's supposed to be with you. That makes him a bastard to both of you.

You have no idea what he is saying to her about you, bet you're mad and won't leave him alone too!
The only reason you really seem to want to be with him is so that she can't be with him. Do you realise how mad that is. It's not a competition and to be honest he's a shite prize. He's playing you off against each other and use you both.

Your friends are right. Getting back with him is madness!

Brakebackcyclebot · 21/08/2018 16:07

He's getting it all ways, isn't he?!

He isn't sleeping with her out of pity. You don't know what story he's spinning her, probably similar to that he's spinning you.

Leave him. Get through the hard grieving bit and then be glad you kicked him to the curb.

namechangefriday · 21/08/2018 16:08

Ffs is this a joke?
No one gets trapped - if he chose to stick his cock in her then he is responsible for the outcome.

You are not a prize. You’re an idiot

Bluntness100 · 21/08/2018 16:09

Seriously, it was a pity shag and she trapped him?

Righto. As you were. 🤣

FishesThatFly · 21/08/2018 16:14

Do you have any self respect?

Sounds like he "pity shags" both of you

Original poster
Suedenym3 · 21/08/2018 16:33

Blimey! No not a troll actually

I said trapped because he didn’t want a baby and made that clear to her - he’s in his fifties fgs!

I do believe it was a pity shag actually - he might fancy her a bit but he has remarked that her body and fake tits are a turn off

He’s promised me she’s gone this time: she flew off the handle on the weekend and he was like “phwoar no more” and I do believe him

She is mad but I think he is also a bit mad - think I will proceed with caution

OP posts:
Newerversion · 21/08/2018 16:38

So, he has an ex who he goes to when you two are on an off period? Also when you two are together he sleeps with her?
But, she is mad and you are the prize?

Wonder how she sees it, wonder what he says to her about you?

SleepingStandingUp · 21/08/2018 16:41

So he insisted on a condom and it broke so not her fault or she sabotaged it?

Not enough of a turn off to not get him hard enough to keep having sex with her. The man is a Saint, keeps on ploughing away as a charitable act of kindness to her.

UnscriptedTruth · 21/08/2018 16:43

Just accept your role as Crazy Ex #2 and move on!

namechangefriday · 21/08/2018 16:44

She wouldn’t have got pregnant if he hadn’t fucked her.

It was bad enough but now you say he’s in his 50s, it’s juvenile crap and you are a complete and utter fool.

Honestly I didn’t think people as stupid as you existed. Self respect-get some

popocatepetals · 21/08/2018 16:44

think I will proceed with caution

The hills are that way >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

PassionFruitPop · 21/08/2018 16:50

Her body and fake tits are a turn off?
Yet he could keep going until he finished inside her?

For a man in his 50's he should know that sex = babies.

Please wake up... this man is playing both of you that's why she seems crazy to you.

Bluntness100 · 21/08/2018 16:57

Well her body and fake tits weren't enough of a turn off for him not to get it up...he seems to have managed that just fine. Repeatedly.

I thought this was teenagers, are you the same age range as him?

Bluntness100 · 21/08/2018 16:59

And agree, if he's in his fifties, he understands about contraception.

So he rode bare back then came back and shagged you as well?

Nice.

Swipe left for the next trending thread