ExH threatening suicide over maintenance.

[TheNightIsForever]

To cut a long story short, ExH and I split a few years ago. We have DC together. He's always been a bit funny with money and it was one of the many reasons we split up. Others being emotionally and physically abusive. That with his alcohol dependence.

Maintenance from him has been very sporadic. £10 or £20 here and there but never anything set. A couple of months ago, after not receiving anything for around 5 months, I decided enough was enough and contacted CMS.
He refused all contact with them, not acknowledging phone calls or letters so the CMS opted for collect and pay.

Unfortunately with collect and pay the also add a 20% fee on top of what will be coming out of his wages.

He's completely lost the plot over it. Threatening to end his life and it'll be my fault that the kids no longer have a dad. (They rarely see him anyway to be honest, every few weeks or so). He started screaming all this at me last week in front of the DC.

He has finally, after 15 years, lost the last bit of control that he had over me and he really is throwing the toys out of the cot.

There's not much advice to be given, I know. I'm just wanting to get it all out because I'm doing so well at the moment by not caving in to him and just cancelling the lot for an easy (emotional wise) life.

My Exh did something similar.
He was taking me back to court to get the child support reduced because one of the kids had graduated. It can only be done through the courts here as it was court ordered in first place.

He had taken me back to court about 6 times over the years and never once got it reduced but this time I knew it would be as the divorce said till child graduated or turned 23. I decided to use the opportunity to try and get some money back for other things he had been court ordered to pay but never did. ( kids college fees, out of pocket medical bills for the kids etc)

My kids all turned on me, telling me that I was being so mean and evil to their father. Told me I was being money grabbing, it was awful. They were all in late teens and early 20s at that point and had never said anything like this before. I was heart broken

I show up in court and the judge made a new date to deal with the other costs I was after but I ended up losing almost all the child support as not only did I loose it for the graduated child, he suddenly announced he lost his job. I said nothing, didnt argue or anything.

It was only after I got home one of the kids told me he had called them to his house to say goodbye as he was planning on killing himself as I was taking all his money and if the court case went against him this time it would be the last time they saw him.
I was gobsmacked, he had pulled some shit over the years but that took the biscuit.

One of the kids told me he had started a new job 5 days after court date, so technically he wasnt working on the courtdate. Luckily the hearing for the other expenses was a month later. Judge asked why I thought I should get it. I got as far as well he has income from a job and the judge turned on him. Silly bugger tried to lie to the judge then tried to argue with him. I got my child support back for the other 2 and he was shouted at and threatened with jail. It was awesome.

I will never forgive him for doing that to the kids. 2 of the 3 of them are no contact with him now. One of them is in therapy and has MH issues the doctor is saying are rooted in his fathers dealings with him.
He is the only human on the planet I actively wish bad on

The first clients I dealt with in my first job completed on their new house on Friday. He committed suicide on the Saturday. Insurance paid out.

AnnieAnoniMoose, I thought of that, but feel the OP should think about whether the ex could be a danger to the kids, and what to do about it.

His whole concern is focused on himself, but the OP doesn't have to join him in that.

Hand him the paracetamol

Fucking loser

He won't do it though. Unfortunately.

AF and I thought I was blunt wrt my post

I think we're in the same page though - he won't do it, he's just a manipulative cock.

If he does, he's just a finally flaccid cock....

Stick with CMS OP I cancelled CMS when my daughters sperm donor said "lets be adult about this and leave the CMS out of it". Then when I cancelled CMS was told to "stop contact him or he would have me arrested for harrassment". I was suffering from PND at the time so just left it.

10yrs down the line not a penny or contact wish I stuck with CMS.