Wwyd?

[wanteddeadoralive18]

Been in relationship just over a year and up until recently have been happy. Both have separate homes and kids approx 25mins away from each other- mine live with me full time but are old enough to be left for a few hours if I go out (16&13)
I see DP a couple of nights a week when he comes after he’s seen his kids, I have food ready for him so by time I’ve finished clearing up, it’s quite late we watch some tv and then we go to bed. Up early the next day and Both go off to work.
Last few weekends, DP has made his own plans to go out on his own. 1st weekend, we had plans(1st anniversary) which he cancelled to go elsewhere. Last weekend, we were all supposed to be going somewhere and I couldn’t leave DC so I said I couldn’t go. DP said he was still going and left me to it despite him knowing why I couldn’t leave DC (issues with exh). This weekend, I thought we could spend some quality time together as both my kids are out, he doesn’t have his kids this weekend and he’s pleased himself for last 2 weekends. DP tells me last night that he’s going out with his mates today....
I told him I was upset and how I felt and he turned it round to say I was telling him he couldn’t go. That is absolutely not the case but I just wanted him to want to spend some time with me... DP will have his kids next weekend so next weekend is already taken up.
I feel really fed up, I feel our priorities are different and starting to think I would be better on my own. AIBU to think he should want to spend some ‘quality’ time with me and maybe prioritise me once in a while?
Sorry for the ramble.... x

Or just reply (in a few hours) that this isn't working for you then block and delete. He'll try his best to wriggle his way out of being dumped, accuse you of being unreasonable and needy and make it all your fault. Hence the block and delete so he can't do that.

Category has it down perfectly. Go for it You'll probably feel relief once you do. I felt like a weight had been lifted.

There are nice ones out there so hold onto that thought.

And by 'nice' I mean ones who'll do the kind things, the thoughtful things.

"hi x, surprised to hear from you, but at least it gives me the opportunity for closure. This relationship isn't working for me, so we'll call it a day here. Best wishes, goodbye."

Absolutely perfect. Don't cheapen yourself by begging, pleading or explaining.

Sorry posted my post on your post!

What a numpty! Sorry

he comes after he’s seen his kids, I have food ready for him so by time I’ve finished clearing up

Anyone else spot a flaw here? Why are you cooking and clearing up afterwards?

Self esteem is a funny old thing, you build it by treating yourself well, then you treat yourself well because you have high self esteem. You feel "unreasonable for feeling this way". Thank goodness for MN to show you that you are being unreasonable .... letting him treat you so badly. Expect him to want to spend quality time with you, not just the 'eats, shoots and leaves' [love this phrase] and not even clear up and if he does't, just stop the 'meals plus service'. You have told he you want to spend time with him, he doesn't show any sign of reciprocating ...

@IWannaSeeHowItEnds Well said You love the man he pretended to be. The man he really is, is pissing you off and making you feel bad.

giving what I wanted to receive but unfortunately, it appears that it just doesn’t work that way.

I think this is the right thing to do, but slowly, as he reveals himself, because it really shows up the difference between decent partners and the users. But really, don't do the cook and clear up for anyone, unless you take i5 in turns. Maybe do it once, then stop and see how he responds. If he does something for you, then ok, if he is happy for you to continue, just stop,

"hi x, surprised to hear from you, but at least it gives me the opportunity for closure. This relationship isn't working for me, so we'll call it a day here. Best wishes, goodbye."

Absolutely perfect. Don't cheapen yourself by begging, pleading or explaining.

This with bells on it

Think of it like you've dodged a bullet! Imagine if he had moved in and how much worse things would become...

Send the text. End it. You'll be empowered! Take control of your life. You got this!

Yep, he's after food & a mid-week shag.

I would try to talk to him about it, he will turn it on you being 'needy, naggy
& controlling' just be really aloof and back off a bit, say you aren't free to see him this week. Leave him alone and see if he comes running, trying to make an effort to sort things out or not.

What Category said. Perfect.

Seventhing what category said

I think the fact ur anniversary wasn’t important enough to celebrate together should tell u he’s not as serious as you are. Let him go not all blokes are like that but his single life is very important to him let him go and get someone who is giving you the attention you deserve he’s having his cake and eating it as far as I can see ur sex on tap when it suits him. Take care don’t let him treat you this way. There are decent guys out there X

A simple ‘Fuck off’ shoukd do it!

*should

Every relationship runs it's course and ends one way or another. It's fairly clear he is throwing you crumbs and you are an option to him, not a priority.

It's about time he learned that he isn't that special.

You need to find other ways to bolster your self esteem that are not dependent on romantic relationships.

and don't take the "blame" for this relationship....don't beat yourself up about choosing the wrong man, doubting your judgement, being hopeless at relationships

everything starts somewhere, like one of those flow charts with the yes/no boxes you only need to worry if you are stuck in a "no" loop and not doing something about it

you have seen how he is, and you are taking action, so take your life and move on, it could have been good, but he doesn't meet your standards, so NO!

Sending you strength, OP. Have a plan of action in your mind for when he:

A. Acts confused about what the problem is, and reels you into a conversation
B. Apologises and promises to do better
C. Doesn’t respond at all.

Ignore the cocklodger.

Did u bin him?

He turned up yesterday oblivious with food for dinner - he cooked!! I told him how i felt and that I was ready to 'kick him to the kerb' and i think (hope) it gave him a wake up call. Told him I'm not prepared to have someone make me feel his was and am too old for this sh*t so will see how thing go. I certainly feel stronger and less inclined to accept things thanks to MN and am making my own plans with my pals to do things. Not sure if I've done the right thing but time will tell.... x

*this way

Mind he's not just behaving well now, to reel you back in and a couple of months down the line you are back where you started.
Personally I think it was presumptuous and rude to just turn up at your house - you don't have that kind of relationship. I would have been inclined to say that it wasn't convenient and send him home!

Unfortunately his latest behaviour is just further proof of his sense of entitlement. I'll show up with food and cook and she'll be impressed and won't dump me and I'll just return to acting like a prize twat again once a week or two has passed. Classic OP, unfortunately. He's got proof now that he just needs to play nice to get back in your good books and get a shag. Set your bar much higher.

You're aware of the behaviour now. Keep a watching eye lass.