He's gone

[thelmalouisewaitforme]

Posting here as some of you might remember my previous thread on Relationships about my ex P (deleted as became too identifying).

I am finding it hard to type this and find the words.

He killed himself a couple of days ago.

I had tried to warn people he was a danger to himself but no one would listen.

I don't know how to feel, but I am heartbroken for him and his family. I have no idea what to do with myself over the next few days and weeks.

Oh i am so sorry. I don't remember your thread so not sure what to say.

But be kind to yourself, it will take time. Just take each step as it comes.

Oh gosh. I remember your thread and had hoped you would update. So sorry to hear this. Please make sure you get some counselling or help to process all this. It is too much for you to deal with on your own.

I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through. Do you have any support?

I am so sorry, even with the best will in the world there are some things that you cannot control.
Do you have friends or family that you can stay with until after the funeral?.
If you really need to talk you could try the Samaritans, I have done this in the past and it was surprisingly helpful.
I have to go to work now so I will not be able to reply but I am sure someone wiser will be along shortly. Please take care of yourself x

My friend was here all day yesterday. Another friend is coming today. I've not told my family yet as they tend to create a bit of a circus about everything and I needed some peace and quiet for a day or so as I was in shock, but I will call them today (they live a few hours away).

I don't know what to do about work this week. Dreading having to tell my colleagues.

He never did come to collect his stuff so I will have to sort all that out at some point

I think I remember your thread but that’s by the by now.

I am so sorry for your loss and what you are going through. I have no first hand experience but do have a friend who lost both her husband and son to suicide.

She wanted people around her and to talk about what had happened as she found it a great help. Make sure you have people to talk to if you need whether that be irl or with a helpline/counselling.

Take care of yourself

I'm so sorry lass.

Oh so sorry.

Didnt read your
other thread.

How awful for you and his family. Take care of yourself x

I didn't see your thread but I'm so sorry to read this. Be kind to yourself

I don't know which thread either but I'm so so sorry for you love

You said you tried to warn people.
That's all you could have done.

Tell people in your own time.
Please be kind to yourself. You are in shock xx

Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry

Very sorry to read this. Awful for you and his friends and family. As others have said, try to make sure you have people around you to support you.

This isn't your fault. Just take a day at a time. You will come out the other end a million times stronger. Sadly I know from experience. Surround yourself with good friends and let them look after you.

Thank you all. Currently trying to decide what to do about work tomorrow

@thelmalouisewaitforme there's no decision to be made about work, you can't go! Simple don't dwell on it, you'll not be fit for work. You need to take care of yourself and work is not the day leave for you.

I read your thread. I'm so sorry.

I was watching your last thread.

Please be gentle and kind to yourself.

So sorry. I'll avoid the phrase that reliably made me tear up when I'd just lost someone, but put your own well-being first and don't let anyone persuade you that actively grieving is being selfish. It's totally fair to tell your over-reactive family to sod off and leave you alone until you're ready.

I am so sorry to read this, sending kind thoughts to you and wishing you strength
No way should you be going to work tomorrow

And don't go to work, you'll probably be a mess but even if not you'll just be delaying your processing of things. Call it in as compassionate leave. I took three days off immediately and another four a couple of weeks later when it came down on me again.

I haven't gone to work today, realised that was a silly idea. Going to spend the day with my friend helping her sort out stuff ready for her baby coming.

I think I will go back at the end of the week perhaps for a half day. I really struggle when I don't have routine, and I need to keep some sense of normality in my life.

Haven't even told my family yet what has happened. I can't face making the phone call. I am dreading all the questions, the pity, the sound of worry in their voices, the fussing. I am going to have to call them this morning but can't bring myself to actually do it.

Sending hugs and good vibes