How much input does your DP give re:style/clothing

[greyallover]

Something bothered me the other day. I wore some workout type clothes out to go to the shops with DH. Later that day he said "let's work on getting you some dresses" I have come to realize my DH is subtley controlling in many ways and this felt along those lines although he is a snappy dresser and definitely into fashion.

I just wondered how much input your DP's give you re: fashion/clothes/hairstyle etc.?

My dad is the sort that wouldn't notice a thing and isn't at all concerned with fashion but my DH is quite concerned with appearance and being stylish.

None. I don't comment on his, either. 'Let's work on getting you some dresses' and his getting angry about my not wanting to wear dresses would go down like a lead balloon. My DH actually has a male model top physique, he's very skinny and long and reedy, a real clothes horse. I'm the opposite. He wears what he likes, buys what he likes and vice versa. Now getting to my kids to wear or take a jacket in inclement weather is another story entirely.

Work on getting you some dresses?!

You should work on getting rid of this idiot.
My fiance tells me I'm beautiful in my pyjamas and when I'm dressed up to go out. All the time. No critical comments.

Thanks for your input everyone, I think I have a good overall picture of what most of you experience and it's not similar to my experience unfortunately. His attitude towards me seems to have changed to one of 'ownership' and I am trying to work out how best to tackle it. Mumsnet always gives me some clarity

I know it sounds daft OP but trust your gut instincts. If it feels wrong and he has to justify it, which confuses you, it probably is wrong.

Occasionally when I've dressed up he'll compliment me. Last time I surprised him with something from ann summers (see through) and he just asked whether it was a new dress for going out! He did look slightly relieved when I said it was just for him...

My DH has an amazing sense of style and "putting me into clothes". I hate it. I hate it even more that he is 95% right. So I kind of take it like medicine because I know he's right and I just have to get sweaty, deal with mirrors etc. But he does it from a kind place (because why else would blue actually pit up with my moaning about it?). Doesn't sound like you're in the same situation

greyallover as time has went by there have been more and more controlling behaviours. She has actually distanced herself from all her previous friends, works out constantly (which is fine but I know she always hated they gym before and he made her sign up for a 5k run but she used to cry about running when she tried it with us!) and he asks her 'does she really need that second bag of chips!!! The cheek! She now has a whole new set of friends who coincidentally are related to him/his circle... rather strange that she has become a whole new person imo!

DP has absolutely zero interest in clothes; his own, mine or anyone else’s.

If I come back from the stables dishevelled, filthy and smelly he might tell me I look ‘sexy’ while keeping his distance until I’ve showered and changed, but that’s as far as his comments go.

My dh might say : you should wear that colour more often , its really nice on you.
But he has zero clothes sense when buying for himself so if there were ten shirt types he would choose the one that least suited him. So l have a lot of input into what he buys but he wants me to. I bring home stuff l know will suit him and he gets lots of compliments on how well he is dressed. An outsider might think l am a control freak but he is happy with it as hates clothes shopping with a vengeance. He has never gained weight over the years and is very easy to buy for size wise.
So, while l wouldn't say we must work on getting you xxxxxx in my head l would be thinking it!!

The only time my DP had made any comment about my appearance other than ‘You look gorgeous’ is when I mentioned that I might get my hair cut short. Then he said, ‘I would never in a million years tell you what to do but I LOVE your hair long’. That’s it.

My partner doesn't say anything ever about my appearance.
No compliments in years but no criticisms.

Listen to your gut Op.

Mine has over the years said 'are you wearing that to work' then pointed out the fact that it hasn't washed properly or has a mark / tear / baby sick, for which I have been grateful. He also once bought me a skirt from the asda sale, bizarrely. For work I 50:50 have to look smart or prepare for clothes to get very mucky, so I don't like to spend loads on work wear. He'd gone to the asda sale for clothes for the kids, the skirt was totally suitable and the right size and appropriate length. Can't have been a complete fluke!
It doesn't matter what our partners do though. You need to judge whether you are happy with his behaviour in your relationship. You can have completely different standards to us, because it is your life.

Dh dreads me asking him to comment on my clothes. A simple 'does this already?' before we go out and the poor man turns into a rabbit in headlights. Lol