How much input does your DP give re:style/clothing

[greyallover]

Something bothered me the other day. I wore some workout type clothes out to go to the shops with DH. Later that day he said "let's work on getting you some dresses" I have come to realize my DH is subtley controlling in many ways and this felt along those lines although he is a snappy dresser and definitely into fashion.

I just wondered how much input your DP's give you re: fashion/clothes/hairstyle etc.?

My dad is the sort that wouldn't notice a thing and isn't at all concerned with fashion but my DH is quite concerned with appearance and being stylish.

See the thing is he would never say, "you can't wear that" because it would be too obvious. Instead, for example I'll wear a dress for an event, pictures posted on fb, everyone says "oh! Grey, you look lovely" next time I go to wear the dress..."I don't like that dress it's weird, it doesn't look right, wrong colour etc."

I've come to the point where I say "oh you don't like that because everyone else thinks I look good in it" but really I don't want to have that conversation at all, what I want is for him to complement me and not be so insecure.

^ because I hate wearing it and am in a bad mood until I take it off but often seem to forget that when I come in... It's an in joke. Calm down

You need a better-fitting bra

Almost zero.

If he sees something he thinks I'll like he might pick it up for me, but because I might like it, not because he wants to see me in it.

He also doesn't voice opinions on stuff I own that he doesn't like (because he knows better)

He does sound controlling op, what a condescending thing to say.

When I get home from work he reminds me to take my bra off and also reminds me that he doesn't care if I keep it off to go to the shop etc!!

Jesus, that just sounds pervy. What the fucks it got to do with him if you keep it off to go to the shops. And buying you clothes is his love language? I think not.

He knows it's got nothing to do with him - it's a running joke. Humour clearly doesn't come across on here

DH has no input at all.

He'll tell me I look nice or offer an opinion if I can't decide which of two options. That's it.

Absolutely none whatsoever! Literally nothing, other than the occasion 'oh that looks nice'

My abusive ex commented on my clothes all the time and it got to the point where literally all I wore was black skinny jeans and a plain t-shirt, because any kind of pattern or bright colour would just get some kind of negative comment from him. Of course, wearing plain boring clothes didn’t save me from criticism either, because he’d still tell me that I looked like a sack of potatoes or that I looked mumsy. I couldn’t win, basically.

Since splitting with him my sense of fashion has gradually improved, although I still find myself second-guessing things sometimes because I can just imagine what he would have said. The other day I bought a bright orange dress that I would never in a million years have worn in front of him, and I was quite proud of myself!

My partner now will tell me that something looks nice but that is literally it. He has never once so much as even offered a suggestion of what I should or shouldn’t be wearing. I realise now how fucked up my last relationship was!

None at all.

My DP gives me lots of clothes advice but that's because I ask him because I reckon I have terrible fashion sense I often ask him "is this dress/skirt/whatever too short for xyz event??" because I'm scared of accidentally flashing someone or not wearing something appropriate for the occasion

My DP has encouraged me to buy new clothes I'd not previously have worn and told me I look great in them and I now feel loads more comfortable wearing certain types of clothes I didn't before, which is nice!

Not sure about your DP though, possible his heart is in the right place but he's going about it badly?

My dh has zero input in my clothes he might comment I look nice if we are going out or again usually if we are going out I might ask his opinion on something

Your last post: "I'll wear a dress for an event, pictures posted on fb, everyone says "oh! Grey, you look lovely" next time I go to wear the dress..."I don't like that dress it's weird, it doesn't look right, wrong colour etc."

I've come to the point where I say "oh you don't like that because everyone else thinks I look good in it" but really I don't want to have that conversation at all, what I want is for him to complement me and not be so insecure."

That doesn't sound so good to me. He doesn't like others complimenting you (even when most of them are other women, in guessing). That sounds a bit too possessive for my liking (caveat: no experience of this kind of thing at all).

Maybe he’s planning on taking u on an exotic cruise so u will need dresses lol. If not I’d find it a bit weird tbh

Dh never comments except if u look nice he'll say "you look nice". Not reserved for specific clothes though. I was wearing really awful tracksuit bottoms yesterday and I made a comment to him about how unattractive they are and he just shrugged like he hadn't actually noticed

None, he’ll say I look nice in different things but never says anything negative or encourages me to wear certain things. Reading between the lines he doesn't like baggy stuff and sometimes I order a dress online and ask his opinion and he’ll say it’s a bit sack shaped but that's about it. I have to ask though, her never just comment without me asking.

I just wondered how much input your DP's give you re: fashion/clothes/hairstyle etc.?

Absolutely none. I buy clothes without him, put them in the closet and wear them when I want to. He has told me what his favourite dress is (he asked me to wear it on our wedding day) and I occasionally ask if I am dressed good enough when going somewhere important.

He doesn't ask my input either and I don't give it unasked.

He only has input if I ask. I ask does this match or does this look ok? I went blonde and I asked what he thought before I done it and he said it's your choice how you have your hair. If he says anything about my style is complementary.

What do you think his problem was with you wearing gym clothes?

Early in our marriage my DH would occasionally come clothes shopping with me and pick up things he thought I might like. I realised quite quickly he would either pick up things that his/my mum would wear or something which would make me look like a hooker! I don't take him shopping anymore 😀

None whatsoever. He dared once to say he wasn't keen on a fluffy pink coat I bought so I now wear it wherever we go

DH and I talk about clothes quite a lot but we're both quite into them - so we might buy each other stuff or suggest things to each other but more in a "I saw this and thought you might like it/look good in it" than a "I think this is how you should look". Neither of us would say anything like your partner did though.

My ex would buy me quite a few clothes, sometimes as presents sometimes just things he saw and thought I’d like. He knew me very well though and it was always my type of clothes, never stuff I wouldn’t usually wear but that he’d like me to. He was also good at spotting stuff when we were out shopping. (I still miss shopping with him, he was much better at it than any of my friends).
My current bf, hasn’t had any input at all, other than to say I look lovely.

My dp only comments if I wear something tight around my arse ( pencil skirt or skinny jeans) and gets all frisky.

None at all, but if I went out in something that I usually wear around the house or for the gym (having not been or going to the gym)he’d probably laugh and say ‘I think you need some new clothes!’ As I would him.

I will tell my DH whether I like something or not if he is considering buying it and if I say I don’t like it, he won’t buy it and vice versa, but that is a choice we make on our own and I would never tell him not buy something nor he me.