Man crying after sex?

[Whatthewhatthe]

I recently reconnected with an long term ex partner after11 years. We are both going through tough divorces.

We went for dinner and drinks. We got on really well after having no contact at all for such a longtime. He ended up at my house. We had sex.
Immediately after we finished having sex, he started crying saying he has no feelings for me,

Is this a normal thing? His actions and words just don’t match. Should I try and see him again?

Hmm. I've experienced this as a sex worker. Primarily with men who have been widowed, or have life changing injuries, or who are single and struggling to cope with a stressful situation.

The whole "I have no feelings for you" shtick would leave me . Well obviously there are no feelings involved bro, it's our 1st/2nd/3rd date!

Eurgh!!!!

Are you sure they’re actually getting divorced? I ‘dated’ someone once who was going through a divorce, or so he said, we had sex and he had a break down afterwards and it turned out he was sleeping with me to find out if he could sleep with someone else, or if he wanted to be with his wife, and he and his wife were not divorcing but were just having a massive wobble... i would see it as a red flag and wouldn’t get involved, even if he is in the middle of a divorce he doesn’t sound stable enough to be seeing someone else right now

He sounds messed up. That was a really mean thing to say, but i bet he calls you again.

Thanks for the advice. He is definitely getting divorced as I know his family.

We had been back in touch for several months before hand- during which he declared that he had never stopped loving me etc. I did not reciprocate this but I’m now a bit upset that when he meets me and we have sex cry’s and says that!

This happened to me once after particularly rude sex with an ex p. He cried because he said it felt 'porny' and he felt ashamed.
Of course it transpired he was a huge porn fab and likely to be a user of sex workers too.
Id known him for years and he was lovely,, funny and very much a feminist type.
We got together after my marriage fell apart, he seemed like a dream come true. He turned really nasty very quickly with headgames and spite, it was so confusing. But sexually he got dark very quickly, the crying was a sign.
Your guy might be completely different.

I think he built you up so much in his mind as the answer to all his problems that the reality was disappointing. That's not to say you should take that personally, just he was expecting to much and remembering you and your old relationship as perfect, which of course it wasn't or you wouldn't have split up.

I don´t know what is going on in his head, but it doesn´t sound like an experience you would want to repeat!

That’s really awful. He didn’t have to tell you that. He could have just made his excuses and gone home. Sounds like he has major issues.

He is being a dick. Looking for sympathy while he basically says 'thanks for the shag, bye'

Ew... No, definitely don't try to pursue this.

Massive red flag OP! Obviously don’t see him again!

Error...No.

I hope that is the end of the relationship then?

The crying is creepy, self indulgent and disrespectful of you.

His words are even worse.

Don’t give him another thought.

no, he i agree, built you up to solve his problems, and he felt sad because you are not the right match, or at least it is too soon.

Google La Petite Morte. Very common for men to feel despondent and melancholic after sex esp at turning points in their lives. They should not pin that on you though- WTF?! That would be a red flag to me of childlike approaches to women (mummy me- understand all my feelings are valid to be shared, i’m the baby here) etc

Should I try and see him again? Why would you try to see him again?! Aren't you totally put off by his reactions?

Why not spend less time trying to work out why he behaved the way he did, and more time working out why you'd put yourself through it.

Id try not to take it personally. Sounds like he's not in a great place. Going through a divorce is quite major. Somehow men expect it are expected to move on easily. He'd be better taking time to be alone and maybe get counselling.

Sorry you had such a crappy experience.

urgh, id say he had issues and this didnt bode well at all. How humiliating.

I've cried after sex - something about the emotional release after a really good orgasm, so that in itself would only raise an eyebrow.

The telling you he had no feelings for you is WTF and you contemplating seeing him again after he's been so rude is WTF x 100

Nope, I wouldn't be getting into.bed with him again anytime soon.

He sounds like he isn’t ready to move on and possibly still wants to be with his wife. Instead if dealing with his emotions he has started a relationship with you. You aren’t responsible for his happiness but he thinks you were. Leave it for now as he will mess you about and in my case (many years ago) make you his mum/counsellor until you have no resoect for him.

Should I try and see him again? What the holy fuck for?! do you want to give him some tissues?!

Why would you see him again if he told you he has no feelings for you?

He's a mess and he's trying to tangle you up in it. Misery loves company. Don't try and save him, you can't. But what you will do is make a massive hash of your life trying.