Thoughts on porn?

[Vbxxx]

So I'm not really into the whole porn thing and my bf knows this as we've had few rows over this he just thinks im being over dramatic but he promised me and told he stopped watching it but hes lied twice before and i asked him if he had been watching porn recently and he told me no then i asked again and he admitted it its hurt me why he would lie again about this i dont feel very good about myself knowing my partner watches other women in a degrading way would anyone feel same as me or am i being stupid?

The percentage of young women who watch porn on their own is increasing all the time. Can't quote the exact figure but in the under 25 age group it's creeping up to 50%.

Just saying.

I’m sorry ladies but if you ask your guys not to watch porn you are asking them to lie to you

Not all men want to watch porn. I married a feminist who doesn't need to be 'persuaded' not to watch porn.

If are anti porn etc take a look at the anti pornography movement on Facebook. There are lot of good posts and links to resources.

She got bette Davis eyes, me too. He took no persuading. He just doesn’t see the point. He knows how I feel about it and why and he totally understands. He watched it when single but very rarely. His opinion is if you are in a relationship and have respect for your partner then there is no reason to watch it.

MrsSnootyPants2018

Did you read the bit that said, "in my experience"?

And did you read what Datguy said?

To the woman who said 'its no big deal' --that's how you feel, many women do indeed still find it a big deal, and that's their right to do so. As Ive said my big deal is when its 'secretive (Im not asking for times and dates but honesty that its happening) ' and very, very frequent , I find it a total turn off to be frank and disrespectful.

some on here get their knickers in a twist about all kinds of things that I personally think are 'no big deal' We are all entitled to personal boundaries of 'okness' especially if married or long term living with someone . I for instance wouldn't have that much of an issue with a one off strip club thing on a stag weekend (although it hasn't actually happened as he doesn't know anyone in that position) , so long as he wasn't paying for private dances, I can live with that, but i do have a thing about excessive porn use behind my back and yet being a feminist etc and saying they 'aren't that interested' . Can those saying they are fine with it just accept, its fine for you, so all well and dandy but not fine for the OP or others of us on the site and its nothing to do with being insecure or ugly . In many cases as I said before age can come into it too, a lot of more mature women I feel are less ok with it then younger gals. I do have a single mum friend who is 35 who won't tolerate it at all under any circumstances, one strike and they are out. Mind you, she did say to me although she likes a guy around, she isn't overly bothered about relationships any more.

I married a feminist who doesn't need to be 'persuaded' not to watch porn

How does feminism explain porn only male participants?

How does feminism explain porn only male participants?

Sorry - I honestly don't quite follow. Can you explain a bit more?

My husband watches it. I'm not bothered.

I don't have an issue with anyone watching porn and would not be telling a partner not to watch it. I'd be pissed off at being lied to though.

I think sexuality is something that will always fascinate us as human beings and I think it's really quite unfortunate that kids/teens have access to literally everything, which falls outside of their maturity and sexual experience. I remember hitting 11/12 years old and seeing a tit through the scrambled erotica channels my parents didn't buy and being like "What is this amazing feeling? God I wish these fuzzy lines weren't here. Looks like it'll be an hour till mom gets back from getting groceries, woohoo!"

It's really embarassing to talk about now at 31, but I remember what seeing a censored soft core porn (upper body nuditu only, simulated sex scenes) did back then and it was pretty darn powerful in terms of my own fascination and the physical tingles I'd never experienced before. I don't look back on these handful of experiences with anything but positive to be honest, my parents had already been speaking to me about sex for a year or two and my mother was extremely positive about sexuality and being in charge of my own. I've laughed with one or two people around my age that had similar experiences at the same age. I think it's shit that the ability to come into your own sexuality at a level that's appropriate for the kid has been pretty much removed, and I'm glad I didn't grow up with the level of access we have today.

I was fortunate enough to be in a personal porn burn out when I started dating DH, so I was only using erotic stories like on literotica as any sort of imagination aid. My attraction to women is what honestly compelled me to bring up porn with my DH as I missed looking at and admiring the female form and sexuality. It was within the first few months when I brought up wanting to watch an erotic film together, so we needed to have a dialogue about it. My DH is actually the one who introduced me to the brand of "real women experiencing real pleasure" videos that we do watch, and I'm really glad he was able to get me away from using tube/hub like sites where 99% of what is posted is everything wrong with pornography. It's nice to see real bodies with no over the top plastic surgery and real sexuality expressed without a script. Five years with DH and he has never asked to put on a film while we're intimate, I've been the one fielding those requests. I know he watches when alone, but I haven't seen an effect to our sex life regarding his desire for me or abiity to please me (and each other of course). I however understand and appreciate that what I've experienced here is not the standard (the asterisk at the bottom of a research paper talking about an anomaly that can't be reproduced in the lab comes to mind).

"How does feminism explain porn only male participants?"

What does this mean?

I Am not currently in a relationship but my general thoughts have always been that I do not think it’s anyone's business what someone might enjoy privately

That said.......

If I feel that a partner is trying to recreate porn sex, (and it’s usually obvious) then I make it really clear that it’s a huge turn off. What they do privately is up to them but do not inflict it on me and if they can’t see that the horrible porn sex is a problem I would dump them

I actually do judge a man if he does watch it to be honest, because porn is not full of willing women, I do point out how gross it is and how many women are coerced/trafficked into it and probably wouldn’t want to be with a man who didn’t seem to care about that.

I make it clear I do not tolerate visiting strip or lap dancing clubs while I am in a relationship with them and it is game over if they did