Love being single

[lola212121]

I know a lot of women - thinking of old acquaintances and women I hear talking -feel very low when not in a relationship . I'm 31 have had numerous failed relationships and 3 children and have reached the point where I don't want another relationship, I have been single 4.5 years . I am attractive , I am slim and get a lot of attention even without make up but I think what a waste because I don't need attention ...but I'm thinking I won't be regarded as attractive in a few years time so should I maybe make good use of it and start dating ? however the thought of getting involved with a man doesn't even appeal to me . I like my freedom too much , I also have a very busy life . . . I think the reason I'm writing this post is to generate discussion about why people feel the need to be in a relationship ? And to help people feel better about being single ...even at a young age .

But this is the relationships board. I can think of loads of reasons people get into relationships. I for one find being single very very lonely. Good for you if you like it though

Yeah, single life isn’t for me

I've been very happily single for more than 20 years, turned down some lovely men, and several proposals of marriage. I absolutely don't want that.

I hate being in a relationship.

I love being free and totally independent.

To be honest, I don't really understand why people want to go through life shackled into pairs, it makes no sense to me at all.

Whats the advantage?

The only advantage I have ever seen is financial, but even then, not always, and not necessarily much.

Financial. Companionship. Help with children.

Well, OP. I'm in my 60s and still get attention! being attractive doesn't stop in your 30s! I am happily single, after marriage, LTRs etc; but dabble in OLD every now and then, when I feel want a man for....reasons!

shackled in pairs....yeah it can feel like that for some couples, or at least one of them!

I'm long term single too. I prefer it to being in a relationship. My time is my own, my money is my own, and I'm not lonely: I have friends and work and children and stuff I'm involved in. I miss sex sometimes though, although not enough to trawl through the horror that is online dating.

I was single for quite a few years and thought it was ok , and that I was happy but now I'm in a relationship and looking back I was incredibly lonely

I like being single but then again I have only been in 2 relationships my whole life. Both were long term and I now have 3 kids so not exactly lonely as I don't have time. My last relationship was abusive so may be that's why I'm in no rush to get back into one. I also don't like sex (I know 3 kids) and just do it to please the other party so have no interest in ons or anything like that either.

@Butterflykissess are you an extrovert ?is that why you find it lonely I wonder ..

@todaythereisabreeze why not ?

If I can be single but have sex regularly then I wouldn’t mind. Am with you I’ve never been happy while in a relationship however I’ve been happy when I’ve had flings. Marriage is just torture... well mine is.

@Ryder63 but I'm imagining you wouldn't get the same choice of men had as compared to your younger years .Do you get any younger men interested in you ? How young,if yes ? You sound great fun btw

@prettygreywalls define lonely

I really want to feel better about being single, before i walk into yet another bad relationship. I was always fine on my own between relationships before, but after getting divorced i feel so broken and desperate for some validation and attention. Its a crap situation..

@user7680 I thought I would be happier having flings but I tend to get attached easily , even though I try not to get attached ... I also have limited time for flings .

@user7680 torture , what do you mean ?

Nice humblebrag.

@lola212121 meaning unhappy but can’t leave straight away .....

@lola Youngest? 10 years younger than me. I'm lucky in that I don't look my age, though. You'd be surprised at the amount of much younger men on OLD who want a dalliance with an older woman! my cut off point is 10 years younger. No difference in maturity, tastes, or behaviour at 50/60, I've found. I haven't dated many men from OLD, and have always made it clear I have no wish to remarry, cohabit, or in any way 'look after' a man. If they can't cook, do their own housework and laundry, then nah, not interested!

It saddens me to read so many posts on this board from women shackled to useless manchildren. I thought things would have moved on by now

I feel many women still get a raw deal from marriage/cohabiting. For all his other faults, my ex husband cooked and cleaned as did my LTR partners. This was back in the 70s and 80s!

Single 7 years.. divorced 2 children.. it's taken me until quite recently to actually really enjoy this lifestyle. I'm independent & free to make my own decisions. Not had sex for 2 years & rarely think about it or miss it.. I'm 44..
I admit at times it can be lonely but not bad enough to contemplate another rubbish relationship & to have my heart broken again.

I was happy being single after I left exh. I missed sex, although sex was never great with exh.

I had a FWB. I wasn't entirely sure I would like that situation, but gave it a go. Turns out I was right. Fwb didn't work out for me. The friend is now my Dp, who I absolutely love and he loves me. He is currently laid snoring on the sofa next to me, while I mn and watch a film, and I am feeling happy and contented.

I did enjoy being single. But I wouldn't give where I am now for the world, even with the snoring.

It's not better to be single or to be attached. It's down to the person. Some people maybe could do with being single for a bit. I learnt a lot when I was. But then I think Some people who prefer being single could learn something from being in relationship with someone new.

We all learn from every situation we are in.

Neither is better. It's down to the person.

And when I tried online dating, the youngest that tried to get me to go 'chill' at his was 22. I was 35.

Loads of men prefer older women. My best friends brother has only ever dated women 20 plus years older than him.

Are you me? I feel exactly the same. Sick to death of people saying your too young/attractive/solvent to be single. Happiest I've ever been. If I did ever meet anyone else he would have to accept we live in separate houses. Unless we had our own wing . I've lived on my own with DC for far too long to accept anyone else into the mix. I don't get lonely as I have lovely family & friends around me. Also a very busy working mum. There's no time or energy for anyone else.

This thread isn’t a bad idea
I am embarrassed to tell people sometimes that i like being single because they find it weird or think I am lying then just try to encourage me to find a man

I’ve had relationships and they aren’t all they are cracked up to be

Being able to do whatever I want whenever is the most contented feeling sometimes. I have been very stressed of late but feel like I am out the other side now (for now) and just have 0 desire to find anyone

This week I went to stay with a friend, read a whole book, spent loads of time with my kids, watched a movie, did some work from home and now I am watching the rain with some wine. I don’t know how a guy would improve this